


As Always

by Guessimaclotpole



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Butt Plugs, Cock Rings, Come Eating, Coming Out, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Public Blow Jobs, Rimming, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Size Kink, Vibrators, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-21 12:42:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17043950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guessimaclotpole/pseuds/Guessimaclotpole
Summary: It’s a birthday tradition that they play dares every year for Leon’s birthday. It’s also tradition that Arthur gets the worst dares. It isn’t tradition, however, when his ex-best friend and crush, Merlin, turns up out of the blue after five years of being out of the country.A story of pretend relationships, coming out, flirty texting, frisky dancing, and a hell of a lot of sex toys.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fifty_fifty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifty_fifty/gifts).



> You can imagine my horror when I received one of my fave writers as my giftee, so Fifty I really hope this lives up to your expectations. You inspired me to read more in this fandom and you are a wonderful soul.
> 
> Merry Christmas <3
> 
> Written for fifty_fifty for the two following prompts:
> 
> 1) Merlin purchases him and Arthur a sex toy advent calendar (basically it's a calendar to countdown until Christmas where you open a window everyday. These days you can get advent calendars for lots of different things, chocolate or toys for kids, or things like alcohol for adults. So why not a sex toy one? - I love this prompt 
> 
> 3) First Christmas together as Emrys-Pendragon's! Lazy morning sex. The get together with their families. How do the combined family dynamics work? Some post-Christmas day smut wouldn't go amiss either.  
> \- Okay so they aren’t married but they will have a first christmas together with both of their families (and friends too!)  
> I have also pulled elements from prompt 4 and 5 regarding smut, exhibitionist undertones, rimming, light Dom/Sub elements.
> 
> I'd like to thank my amazing beta. You are the most patient person and I never realised I had so many bad habits regarding my writing! You are my hero and you have turned this mess of words into something that actually makes a little sense.  
> I owe you so very much.
> 
> Also, to my two cheerleaders. You guys are the best and really helped me feel better about writing this.
> 
> And to [Plumantis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumantis), who right at the very start of this, filled me with the confidence that I was capable. 
> 
> I love you all!

“Arthur’s turn!” Percival yelled, and Arthur was thankful that he had decided not to drink too much that night. Percival’s drunken shouting was bad enough when you were sober. Who honestly thought that it was a good idea to go out on a Wednesday night?

“Arthur’s turn, indeed!” added Gwaine, and he eyed the other lads around the table. Honestly, if it wasn’t Leon’s birthday, then Arthur wouldn’t have even made the effort—but he hadn’t imagined they’d be playing dares in a nightclub at 24 years old. _Pathetic_. Still, Arthur was no quitter.

“Come on then, do your worst. Half of the city has seen me naked anyway.” It was true. Arthur didn’t shy away from the fact that he’d whored himself out to probably more than half the girls he’d ever met, and this wouldn’t be the first time he’d been dared to streak, either.

He watched as Gwaine pulled out his phone and turned it to Leon and Elyan in turn, before giving Percy a wink and looking back at Arthur with a grin. “Kiss the next person who walks through the door,” he said with a sly smirk.

“Oh, _please,”_ replied Arthur, standing up already in anticipation.

“A proper kiss as well, mind. I’m talking at least ten seconds and I fully expect to see tongues. It is my birthday, after all,” said Leon, and Arthur rolled his eyes. No one over the age of 35 ever drank here, and Arthur was sure that whoever the lucky lady was who was about to walk in, she wouldn’t be disappointed at the way things were about to unfold.

There was an echoing jingle as the bell to the outer door rang, and Arthur darted towards the entrance, waiting beside the doorway ready to pounce. He shot a thumbs-up at Gwaine, who laughed and winked in response—then there was another jingle and the inner door opened.

Arthur moved around swiftly, placing a steady hand on the girls hip, and then he—

“Arthur!” said the all too familiar voice—and when Arthur looked up at the face in front of him and saw none other than his childhood best friend, Merlin, his head immediately shot back to the table where his ‘friends’ sat. Leon gave him a stern look, as if to say _you are not getting out of this, Pendragon,_ and so Arthur turned back around to Merlin.

“Merlin! It’s nice to see you again. How long has it been?” he asked, trying to figure out if he could do this. His ex best-friend and _childhood crush_ had just walked in, and Arthur had to sodding kiss him.

“Five years. Arthur, you look so different! You look—you look well!”

Arthur laughed at the compliment. God, he couldn’t stand here like an idiot all day. He had to do this. _Grow some balls,_ he told himself. If he was going to do it, he’d do it properly. _Go big or go home._

“Yeah, and you look fucking stunning,” he replied, before moving in quickly and embracing Merlin, kissing some warmth back into those icy cold lips.

_Ten seconds and tongues_ , he told himself as he swiped his tongue against Merlin’s bottom lip—and sure enough, he was granted access immediately.

He counted it in his head— _1, 2, 3_ —as hands grabbed at his hips— _4, 5_ —and he was being pushed backwards— _6, 7, 8_ —until his back was against a wall and Merlin’s body was flush against his— _9, 10, 11_. Merlin pulled away and then came straight back, grabbing Arthur’s bottom lip between his teeth— _12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17_ — _God,_ he’d wanted this for so long— _18, 19, 20_ —and then Merlin pulled away, laughing. They looked at each other for a second before Merlin leant around to whisper in Arthur’s ear, “If you do it for twice as long as they ask, they probably won’t make you do it again. You’ve got to put on a show.”

Merlin’s breath against Arthur’s ear made him shudder, and then he realised—of course Merlin would know it was a fucking dare. They all used to play dares on Leon’s birthday, every single year. _The bastards._ They knew he’d always liked Merlin—they had done this on purpose.

“It’s nice to see you, too, by the way,” teased Merlin, and he made his way to their table of friends, his skinny jeans highlighting the plump of his arse as he walked.

_Holy shit._

 

* * *

 

“So, what brings Merlin back to Camelot?” asked Leon, wrapping his arm around their old friend and ruffling his hair.

“Well, I have some news, actually,” replied Merlin with such a smile on his face that Arthur presumed he’d explode if he didn’t tell them the news soon.

“Are you getting married?” joked Percy, and Arthur just rolled his eyes, sipping at his pint and looking at the way Merlin’s hair still stood on end. There was no way he was staying sober any longer, yet the beer wasn’t helping his suddenly dry mouth.

“He’s pregnant!” shouted Gwaine, and laughter erupted amongst them when Merlin launched a beer mat right across the table and into Gwaine’s eye. They shoved at each other playfully, until Leon finally spoke.

“Well, come on then, Merls, don’t keep us waiting” he insisted, and Merlin started to bounce in his chair.

“I’m moving back here!”

As their friends all cheered and toasted to Merlin’s return, they didn’t notice the way Merlin and Arthur’s eyes met, or the way Arthur looked away too quickly. Of course, Arthur should be thrilled to hear that Merlin would be returning to Camelot. Merlin had been his childhood best friend and crush, and when he had moved away, a part of Arthur had died a little inside.

The problem was, however, that Arthur had been Merlin’s childhood crush too. The problem was that Arthur had been in the closet at the time, and being the absolute idiot that he was, he had rejected Merlin when the opportunity arose. The problem was, outside of this group of friends, Arthur was still in the closet.

They had pretended like it was no big deal, and maybe it wasn’t. They had been young and it was probably a phase. But that didn’t explain why Arthur had felt the need to shag half the girls in Camelot when Merlin left, and why he pictured Merlin naked every time he did it.

The truth was, Arthur had never stopped having feelings for Merlin. But Merlin had stopped having feelings for him.

And also, Merlin had never known that Arthur was gay.

Arthur managed to loosen up a little as the night went on and the drinks flowed. He pushed his sappy emotions to one side, because this night was about Leon and Merlin and he didn’t want to be a fun sponge. So, they all drank and joked and reminisced, and when Gwaine sang _Mr Brightside_ on karaoke, the lot of them all but hyperventilated with laughter.

“It’s been amazing to see you, Merlin. It was a wonderful birthday surprise, thank you,” Leon said as he hugged Merlin, tears pooling in his eyes. Leon had always been a sappy drunk, and he and Merlin had been inseparable growing up, so it was only right that he’d be crying by the end of the night.

“Come on, taxis outside,” Elyan said, scooping up Leon’s arm and steadying him as they made their way to the door. “It was nice to see you, Merlin!” he added, but he wasn’t watching where he was going and walked Leon straight into the doorframe. Laughter ensued again, and Arthur remembered why he liked Leon’s birthdays so much.

“So, where abouts do you live? Did you get an apartment?” Percival asked Merlin, and Merlin’s eyes widened in horror.

“Oh shit, I need to ring Will!”

Arthur immediately tensed up, and Gwaine rested a hand on his shoulder—a reassurance, he supposed.

Will had been Merlin’s best friend from his old home in Ealdor. Once Merlin moved to Camelot when he was five, Will would come and stay over during the school holidays. It wasn’t that any of them had had a problem with Will at first, but it was clear that the boy had liked Merlin for a long time. So, naturally, when Will and his mum moved to Camelot during secondary school, things went a little sideways. Arthur had rejected Merlin based on the fact that he wasn’t gay—and in turn, Merlin had ended up going out with Will instead.

Then Will cheated on him.

Arthur honestly didn’t know how on earth they’d stayed friends afterwards, but somehow they had, and it didn’t sit well with him in the slightest.

“Why do you need to call Will?” Percival asked, shooting a nervous glance in Arthur’s direction. Arthur just stared at him in return, trying to keep himself grounded.

“Well, I’m staying with my mum until I can find my own place, but she’s away visiting Uncle Gaius in France and forgot to leave the key. I was going to ask Will if I could bunk up with him for a couple of weeks.”

“There’s no need,” chided Arthur, before his brain had caught up to the fact that, yes, he actually had spoken. Apparently, the others were just as surprised as he was; Gwaine even squeezed his thigh under the table as some sort of warning. Of course, Arthur’s mouth had a drunken mind of its own. “I have a free room in my house which you are more than welcome to use until Hunith comes home.”

The three men gaped at him for a moment before Gwaine released Arthur’s thigh and smirked at Percival. Percival just slapped Merlin on the back with a, “Well, there’s that sorted then!” and Merlin eyed Arthur warily for a few moments.

“Er, well, thanks. That’d be great, Arthur.”

And that was how the two of them went from passionate snogging to walking home with almost a metre between them, and not a word uttered until they walked through Arthur’s front door.

“This is big,” Merlin noted.

“Yeah.” Arthur kicked his shoes off by the front door and watched as Merlin did the same. He couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips when he saw Merlin’s Scooby Doo socks.

Arthur had grown up in a very large house (it was _not_ a mansion, thank you very much), and Merlin had lived in a little cottage that was situated just around the corner. He watched as Merlin glanced into the petite yet spacious living area. As much as he hated to admit it, Arthur had bought this cottage because it was so similar to the house he spent most of his childhood life in. Hunith’s house, like his own, had low ceilings and a brick fireplace and dark wooden beams that stretched across the walls. Even though Arthur had lived with his parents for the best part of 19 years, he had never felt like that house had been a home. Not like Hunith’s had.

Merlin looked back in his direction with an appreciative smile and vaguely gestured at the house around him with his hands.

“Did Uther—you know?” Merlin asked shyly, and Arthur realised he was asking if his father had paid for his house.

“No, I always told you I wanted to make my own way and that’s what I have done,” Arthur replied. It occurred to him them that he and Merlin had barely spoken for five years, and that they really knew nothing at all about each other’s lives.

Yet there had been a time when they knew everything about each other; from their favourite hobbies, to the classmates they didn’t like, to the number of birthmarks they had—the lot. And it had been Arthur’s fault that they’d lost touch, because he just hadn’t made the effort. It had hurt him too much to see Merlin go.

But now he could at least try to fix it.

“Fancy a couple of cans before bed?” Arthur asked, and Merlin just nodded with a smile. They wandered into the living room, where Merlin perched on the end of the couch and Arthur joined him a moment later, a slab of eight cans in hand.

“That’s your idea of a couple?” enthused Merlin, and Arthur snorted in response.

“We don’t have to drink them all, you idiot,” he chortled, hitting Merlin in the shoulder before passing him a can and a glass.

At first, it was a little awkward. They talked about their families and the boring goings-on in their time apart. It wasn’t until they were talking about Arthur’s new job as a child psychologist that Arthur realised that Merlin hadn’t really spoken much about himself.

“So, why are you back, then? D-Did you miss home?” Arthur’s speech was slurred after their third can each, but honestly, Merlin was holding his drink better than he had ever done in the past. Arthur was quite drunk in comparison.

“No, actually, I, er—Well, I guess I got a job, but I don’t start until after Christmas. I just thought I’d come back early to get my bearings before I get started, you know?” Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded, placing his unopened fourth can back into the pack.

“What job?” he asked,  shuffling a little closer to Merlin—accidentally, of course. Merlin hadn’t said what he’d been studying during his time away.

“Um, I’ve gotten a job at Camelot General Hospital as a Paediatric doctor, but I’ll be doing the odd shift on the terminal kids’ wards. I’m trained in Oncology, too.”

Arthur was grateful he hadn’t opened that last can because he definitely would have choked. “That’s where I’m based! We’ll be in the same department!” Arthur exclaimed, suddenly overjoyed at the thought of spending a lot more time with his old friend. Merlin answered Arthur’s enthusiasm with an enormous grin of his own, and Arthur was sure he’d probably regret it in the morning, but he threw his arms around Merlin’s neck and embraced him in a long, warm hug.

Merlin may have buffed out a bit and he _definitely_ looked more like a man now than before, but he still smelled like the same old Merlin. Arthur smiled and pulled back, and when his arms lingered around his friend’s neck, and he realised that Merlin’s hands were firmly around his waist, he couldn’t help but lean forwards ever so slightly.

They were so close now.

But then Merlin sniffled loudly and yawned, standing up from the couch.

“It’s late, Arthur, we should get some rest,” he mumbled.

“Ah, yeah. I’ll show you to your room then,” Arthur answered, and he couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice.

He showed Merlin to his room and then tucked himself into his own bed, and if he wanked furiously over the thought of Merlin being just next door, he’d never let anyone know.

 

* * *

 

Arthur awoke to a rotten headache, the smell of bacon and the sound of his phone screaming at him. He quickly grabbed at it and smashed his hands against the screen a few times before putting it to his ear.

“Oh, you’re up now are you?” came Leon’s agitated voice from the other end of the line.

“How are you not dying?” Arthur groaned, rolling onto his stomach and pressing his face into the pillow.

“Because I’m blessed. You, however, are an idiot. I can’t believe you invited Merlin to live with you for two weeks, you absolute pillock!”

Ah yes, Merlin was here. Arthur groaned again.

“Yeah, exactly. It’s like you enjoy making yourself suffer. Listen, I’m leaving mine in ten minutes, I’m coming over for a bit to see Merlin.”

Arthur just grunted in response before Leon hung up. He then turned his phone off altogether and tried to go back to sleep, but the smell of bacon was giving his stomach other ideas.

After pulling on a shirt and jeans, he dragged himself downstairs and found Merlin in the kitchen cooking in—were those Arthur’s clothes? When Arthur cleared his throat, Merlin nearly leapt out of his skin.

“Oh! Jesus Christ, Arthur, I nearly shit myself! Look, I dumped my case at Will’s yesterday before coming out, so I had to pinch some clothes off the pile on the dining room table. Is that okay?”

Honestly, Arthur didn’t have the slightest problem with it at all. The white t-shirt Merlin had chosen was stretched tight across Merlin’s chest, and Arthur couldn’t help but laugh at the way his Gryffindor pyjama bottoms hung from Merlin’s hips. He was waving a spatula in his hand as he spoke.

“It’s fine, Merlin. Why are you cooking bacon, though? I thought you were vegetarian.” Arthur inquired. Merlin had been vegetarian since he’d watched _Babe_ for the first time when they were in primary school.

“I am, but I figured you’d be hungry,” Merlin replied, his back now turned to Arthur as he scooped the bacon out of the pan onto some bread. Arthur just stood and watched, marvelling at the sight of his childhood crush cooking in _his_ kitchen wearing _his_ clothes, and when Merlin walked up to him with a plate in one hand and a cup in the other, Arthur just gaped at him. “Bacon and brown sauce sandwich and two soluble paracetamol because you don’t like swallowing tablets, right?” Merlin asked, and all Arthur could do was nod. He had never expected Merlin to remember that after more than five years. _Why_ would he remember that?

He took the plate and glass from Merlin with an ‘er, thanks’ and made his way to the living room, where the discarded cans from last night stood on the coffee table. Suddenly, his stomach churned, and he stared at the bacon sandwich in front of him, contorting his face into what was no doubt a sour expression.

“You’re going to spew, aren’t you?” asked Merlin, sitting on the chair opposite, and Arthur didn’t even move for fear of disrupting his stomach. Apparently, his lack of answer was enough and Merlin disappeared, returning a few seconds later with a bucket which he shoved under Arthur’s face.

Hell, he hadn’t seen Merlin for five years and now the bloke was here, crouching down beside him with a hand on his leg and a sympathetic look on his face. _Christ,_ he didn’t deserve this.

His stomach grew heavy and the lump in his throat swelled until he was vomiting into the bucket, regretting every time in his life he’d dared to even look at alcohol, and Merlin was still there, one hand rubbing reassuring circles on Arthur’s thigh and the other patting his back.

“Come on, get it out so you can actually eat something,” Merlin sighed, and then the door to the living room opened.

“Well, isn’t that a sight?” joked Leon as he walked to the chair Merlin had been sitting in. Arthur managed to stop being sick long enough to look up at him and give him the middle finger. Leon just smirked, and Arthur watched as Leon’s gaze travelled down to where Merlin’s hand was still on Arthur’s thigh. His smile immediately left his face, and Merlin must have been looking too because his hand snapped away from Arthur pretty quickly.

Leon and Merlin had a brief chat about something-or-other; Arthur really wasn’t paying any attention, because he was too busy chundering bile into the bucket he was practically hugging. _No more alcohol,_ he decided, and when he finally managed to get his stomach back under control, he necked the paracetamol and wolfed down his now-cold bacon sandwich.

The bacon was overdone, just how he liked it.

“When do you go back to work?” Leon asked, tossing a discarded pop tab at Arthur’s face.

“Well, after Mithian left I picked up loads of her hours. I guess they owed me a lot of days off, so now that they’ve gotten Lance in, I’ve managed to work it so I have a lot of time off around Christmas. I’ve got a couple of weeks where I’m in three days but that’s pretty much it.”

Arthur worked with two other child psychologists at Camelot General: Mithian and Gwen. Unfortunately, Mithian had recently had a rough break up with her ex-husband and was in the middle of a huge custody battle for her two sons. It had clearly been taking its toll, and the hospital agreed it would be best for her to take a long-term sick leave. Arthur had picked up most of her shifts, because Gwen cared for her ill father outside of work, and Arthur couldn’t bring himself to put her through any more stress than he had done already. In turn, he had also picked up Mithian’s position as head child psychologist, making him Gwen’s boss.

They’d met at uni, where Gwen had become one of the many female students that Arthur had slept with during that time. The only difference with Gwen was that she had actually been his classmate and close friend, and so when they had drunkenly hit it off, she had expected more. At the time, Arthur was still confused about his feelings and his sexuality, and he kept sleeping with her as a way of denying who he was.

He’d known it was an awful thing to do, and she was very understanding when he called it off; but he could see that she was hurt. Of course, they studied the same subject and chance played out so that they landed the same job. Arthur loved Gwen to bits, he really did, but it was enough that she had to face him every day. He couldn’t possibly have split those hours with her when she already had enough on her plate. He was also very grateful that his friend, Elyan, didn’t completely remove his head. Elyan was, of course, Gwen’s brother.

Thankfully, Lance worked with them now, and not only did he have a ton of flexibility to work, but he also seemed to be hitting it off with Gwen.

“So does that mean more nights out around Christmas?” Leon asked, and Arthur felt his stomach clench up in response, but before he could speak, Merlin’s phone started ringing. Arthur scowled at Leon, who just grinned mischievously at him as Merlin took his call.

“Hi Mum, how ar—whoa, slow down, what h— _what?_ Oh, er, er—” Merlin’s entire body froze, and Arthur watched as the colour quite literally drained from his face. Leon looked between the two of them questioningly, but Arthur could only shrug at him.

“Look, I’ll speak to you lat—No, I’ve— _I’vegottagobye!_ ” Merlin hung up and practically threw himself on the sofa, face down next to Arthur.

“Okay… What was that exactly?” Arthur inquired. Merlin had always been rather melodramatic and chances were that he was overreacting about something.

“ _Gwaine,_ ” Merlin groaned into the sofa cushion, and Leon’s eyes widened with realisation.

“Oh, the picture!”

“Uuuuggghhh” Merlin huffed.

Arthur was a little lost. Both other parties in the room seemed to know something he didn’t, and so he leaned back on the sofa, glared at Leon and crossed his arms. Then when no one told him what he was missing, he elbowed Merlin in the side.

“Are you going to sit up and tell me what the hell is the matter with you?” he asked, impatient. But when Merlin sat up, he only shot a furious glance at Leon.

“Oh come on, it’s just a picture, Merls. It’s not going to kill anyone—and it wasn’t even my idea!”

“Yeah, well, tell that to Mum, who now thinks that we’re—that… _Christ_ , Leon! Why do you lot never think anything through?!” Merlin threw himself back on the sofa again and buried his face in his hands.

Leon shot a wary look in Arthur’s direction before taking out his phone, pressing a few buttons and passing it back to him.

Merlin might be melodramatic, but his reaction in this instance was more than suited to the situation. Arthur was staring at an impossibly high-definition picture of Merlin pressing him up against a wall, his and Merlin hands all over each other’s bodies, and, honestly, how Gwaine had even managed to get close enough to be able to see their _tongues_ in the picture without them realising, Arthur would never know. He felt the blood drain from his face and his fingers grasped the phone so tight he was worried it might snap.

What was worse was that Arthur, idiot that he was, decided to scroll down the Facebook page to read the comments, and the first one there was from none other than Hunith Emrys. All it said was ‘!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”. Who the hell let adults loose on the internet, anyway?

“Merlin?” Arthur croaked, his mouth very dry again all of a sudden. “Why do you have your own mum as a Facebook friend? It’s social suicide, it—”

“Because unlike some of us, I haven’t seen her for five years, Arthur! You should be asking why the fuck Gwaine uploaded the damn thing without telling us! _Jesus Christ!_ I suppose we should let him explain to my mum that we aren’t together? Because she seemed absolutely over the moon, so much so that she was willing to pay to ring me from sodding _France_ to scream about it! God, she’s going to be gutted, she’s going to— _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ —”

“Right, just hang on a second” Leon shouted, raising his hands as if he were calming velociraptors rather than coming up with some sort of resolution to this fucking heinous situation. “Hunith thinks you’re together?”

“Well, yeah,” Merlin squeaked and Arthur suddenly replayed the phone call in his head, feeling anger swell up inside of him.

“You never even told her we weren’t, did you?!” he yelled, and Merlin flinched as Arthur shot off the couch, almost tripping over his own sick bucket. “No no no no _no_ , this can’t, we need to… Shit! My mum!” Arthur panicked, practically leaping back onto the sofa and scrambling at his own phone to turn it on. “She’s friends with Hunith, she’ll see—”

“Yeah, well, at least she won’t think you’re fucking going out with me, Arthur! You whore yourself out all the time, and to women! You’re not even…”

Merlin trailed off, seemingly realising that Arthur and Leon were both staring at each other and that Arthur was practically on the verge of tears. The thing with Merlin was that for all the clumsiness and total idiocy, he was extremely observant and intelligent. It infuriated Arthur to no end.

“Oh, _shit,_ ” Merlin breathed, looking frantically between the two of them. “You _aren’t,_ surely? Arthur, how the hell—you’ve slept with half the girls in Camelot!”

“Yeah, thanks, Sherlock!” Arthur spat, before he looked back to Leon again. Leon was the only one that could possibly find some sort of way out of this mess.

“Look, Arthur. Maybe it’s time they found out,” consoled Leon as he came to crouch next to him. Arthur just dropped his face to his hands. He didn’t want his parents to find out about his sexuality from a Facebook picture of him snogging the same boy he had grown up with. The boy he had _rejected._ “I have a suggestion, but neither of you are going to like it,” Leon added, and Arthur looked to Merlin, who was still looking back at him as though he’d grown an extra head.

Leon made his way back to the chair opposite the two of them, and Arthur suddenly knew how his patients felt when they were forced to sit and listen to him against their will. “Hunith is obviously ecstatic about his whole thing, and she’s coming home in December, isn’t she?” Leon asked Merlin, who nodded, eyeing Leon with scepticism. “Okay. Hear me out, yeah?” This time, it was Arthur’s eyes that he met. Arthur nodded, but he couldn’t ignore the guilt in Leon’s expression.

“I think that it’d be a good idea for you both to pretend to be together,” Leon said. Arthur had expected Merlin to argue. Hell, he thought that he’d argue, too, but it seemed that they both were rendered speechless.

“You can say that you were talking before Merlin came home and that you wanted to get together. You hit it off and now you’re both in a relationship. Arthur isn’t at work as much so you can figure out what you’re doing, and Merlin already lives here for the time being. You can keep Hunith happy until Christmas and then you can split afterwards. Arthur, this is the ideal opportunity for you to come out to Uther and Ygraine. I know you’re worried about what your Dad will say, but I have no reason to believe he’d love you any less.”

Arthur didn’t look at Merlin. He didn’t want to be the one who made this decision. Part of him understood why this would work, and how well it had been thought out on Leon’s part. It all made perfect sense. Then a part of him, a very greedy and awful part, wanted this to be another opportunity. He’d never stopped thinking about Merlin since he’d left, and maybe if he had more time… But then that last part of him, the part he didn’t listen to often enough, told him it was an awful idea. Not only did Merlin no longer like him, but he knew he’d get his hopes up and that Merlin would break his heart at the end of it.

Arthur didn’t say a word.

“Okay,” came Merlin’s small voice from next to him, and Arthur looked up into Leon’s apologetic face.

He’d seen too many rom-coms to know where this was going, and he didn’t even want to _think_ about the tropey friends-to-lovers fanfiction that he certainly hadn’t ever read before, no sir.

Gods, what was he doing to himself?

He grabbed the sick bucket again.


	2. Chapter 2

The following days were pretty normal. Arthur went to work, came home, ate dinner, showered, watched TV and went to bed. The only thing out of the ordinary, of course, was the almost permanent presence of his ex-crush.

They managed to co-exist quite happily, and it was pretty easy given that Merlin didn’t expect Arthur to treat him any differently. They spoke to each other from time to time, about the weather or the news, and they took turns cooking and making cups of tea. Honestly, Arthur was happy to keep it this way. Christ knew what would happen if he started developing _feelings_ again.

He shuddered at the thought.

But of course, Arthur Pendragon’s luck never lasted very long, and impending doom came in the form of a Facebook message three nights after their chat with Leon.

“Er, Arthur?” Merlin had asked, and immediately Arthur tensed up. Merlin never usually talked while they had a movie on.

“Mmm?” Arthur responded, trying to sound indifferent and not as though this man could break him to pieces any second.

“M-Mum wants to Skype me,” Merlin stammered, and Arthur exhaled long and slow. He really had to find a way to loosen up around his housemate.

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine. I’ll go upstairs and give you some time to talk if you want?” suggested Arthur. He knew Merlin probably didn’t want him intruding on his conversations and so he turned off the TV and made his way to the door.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked again, and Arthur paused in the doorway. “She wants to Skype the two of us,” muttered Merlin—and Arthur felt the floor disappear from beneath his feet. He knew he would have had to face Hunith eventually, but he hadn’t thought it would be this soon and on _Skype?_ Seriously? How are you expected to act with your fake boyfriend on a video call to his mother?

Arthur hesitated, and for a second he thought about just running away while he had the chance. Surely it wasn’t too late to back out now? But the thought left his mind as quickly as it had entered it. As a child, he’d spent most of his time at Merlin’s house because his own parents worked, and he’d even bought Hunith a bunch of flowers for Mother’s Day once.

Guilt swelled up inside of him, and he knew that he couldn’t come crashing down on her happiness. He’d have to just suck it up and not get attached. He and Merlin didn’t have to act too lovey dovey, right?

He found himself nodding before he’d even turned around, and he made his way to sit on the sofa next to the man who was inevitably going to ruin his entire life. He could do this, _he could._

“Er, you’re going to have to sit a bit closer so you’re actually in the video, Arthur,” Merlin said a bit too matter-of-factly for Arthur’s liking. He shuffled to his right a little bit, trying not to get too close because _Gods_ , he didn’t need the thoughts that came with being in close proximity to this nerdy kid turned man of his dreams.

Merlin looked at him with frustration. “Are you fucking serious right now?” he complained, and then, much to Arthur’s absolute horror, he moved so far to his left that their sides were completely pressed up against each other. “I don’t bite, you know,” Merlin mumbled as he tried to prop his phone up on the coffee table, and Arthur tried not think about whether or not Merlin did in fact bite, and where he liked to be bitten in return.

He felt the colour flush to his cheeks as ‘Incoming call from Hunith Emrys’ popped up on the screen, and he desperately tried to ignore the heat of Merlin’s body and the blood rushing to his nether-regions.

He should have run.

“Awww, look at you two!” came Hunith’s voice, and Arthur realised he wasn’t even looking at the screen. He was, in fact, staring at where Merlin’s hand had at some point found a home on the inside of his thigh.

Arthur looked from Hunith’s face to Merlin’s in slight panic, and noticed that Merlin had flushed a little red and was looking down at his knees.

“Hi Mum, er—this is Arthur,” he whispered, and it was as though seeing how well Merlin was pretending ignited the challenge within Arthur.

He could do this, and he would do this.

“Hi, Mrs Emrys.” He smiled, and was immediately threatened with the dreaded pointer finger.

“Arthur Pendragon! I will not be old and senile for at least another 20 years, so you will call me by my first name and by that name only!” Hunith chastised, and Arthur couldn’t help the nostalgic smile that curled on his lips.

“Yes, sorry, Hunith,” he said, and he tried his best not to react too much when Merlin leant in and placed his head on Arthur’s shoulder.

“Mum, we’re going out with some friends tonight and we need to get sorted soon. We don’t have very long.” Merlin’s hand remained on Arthur’s thigh, but now his thumb moved back and forth in an awfully tantalising manner. Arthur couldn’t decide whether he wanted to scream or leap on Merlin. All he knew was that Hunith’s face in front of him was the only thing stopping him from doing either. As it was, he was hyper-aware of Merlin’s hair tickling his cheek, and it took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to turn and nestle his nose into it—not to inhale the smell of this absolutely stunning man.

“Okay, okay. The real reason I was ringing is that I have a surprise for the two of you!”

Merlin lifted his head from Arthur’s shoulder and looked visibly intrigued. His grip got a little tighter over Arthur’s thigh. “What kind of surprise?” he asked, and Arthur realised just how much Hunith and her son were alike when she visibly started bouncing up and down in her chair with excitement.

“Well, I know this little thing between you both is a secret, but Ygraine and I have arranged for us all to spend Christmas day together! We’ve invited all of your friends, and Arthur dear, if you’re ready then you can tell everyone at Christmas about the situation—it’ll be a wonderful surprise!”

Arthur and Merlin may have grown up together and, in turn, developed a certain skill at being able to lie and act incredibly well, but Merlin’s _‘Oh, that’s amazing!’_ was just about as fake as this entire relationship they had going.

Arthur just nodded his head and agreed as heartily as he could without vomiting. He’d desperately tried to avoid his parents finding out _anything_ about this, to the point where he had tearfully begged Gwaine to delete the picture from Facebook.  

“Okay, Mum, we have to, er—we have to head off and get dressed.”

Arthur turned to look at Merlin and realised that his former crush had moved closer to him. Their eyes met, and Arthur could feel Merlin’s breath ghosting over his face. He swore that the grip had tightened on his thigh—but when Merlin looked down at Arthurs lips for a split second, they were drawn from whatever this was by Hunith’s lingering presence.

“Oh, look at you both! I’ll let you two get to your, er, _‘party’_ as you’re calling it.” She sniggered, and Arthur immediately turned away from Merlin in blind panic.

There were quick farewells and the sharing of ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ and then when Merlin hung up the call, Arthur didn’t even have time to move before Merlin rounded on him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” he yelled, jumping up off the sofa and flailing his arms aggressively. If it weren’t for the fact that the other man was clearly pissed off at him for unknown reasons, Arthur might have found it adorable. Instead, he found himself getting just as angry as Merlin.

“I could ask you the same! What the hell were you doing, leaning on me and fucking touching my leg like that?! Who said you could—”

“In case you forgot, Arthur, we are supposed to be together! People in relationships don’t sit at opposite ends of a sofa and flinch away from personal contact! What are you, a fucking nun?!” Merlin half-laughed, half-shouted, and Arthur didn’t know what to do.

“You know what, no.” Merlin sighed, sitting back down to face Arthur. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it properly. We either tell my mum now that this is absolute rubbish, or we fake-date for real. It’s up to you, Arthur. I can manage this situation fine, but there’s obviously something going on with you.”

Of course, ever the observant idiot, Merlin was right. But there was no way Arthur could tell him that the reason he couldn’t do this was because he was absolutely terrified of developing too many feelings for his former— _sod it_ —for his current crush, and that he didn’t want to have his heart broken. Instead, he’d have to be a man.

“Look, Merlin. I want to do this for Hunith, I really do. You just don’t know what it’s like to have been in the closet your whole life! I’m so scared of them knowing. What will Dad say?”

This _was_ actually true. Arthur didn’t want to come out to his parents at all, let alone with a fake relationship. His dad, though he meant well, was quite uptight about a lot of things, and Arthur wasn’t sure how his son being gay would settle with him.

Suddenly, warm hands found his, and Arthur turned to see Merlin looking him so sincerely that he heard his own heart crying in his chest.

“In that case, let’s change things up a little. We’ll act a little closer around the house, just to get you used to the touches and hugs and stuff, okay? Then we’ll come out together to Ygraine and Uther—and we can surprise everyone else by hosting Christmas dinner here. If there’s anything I _can_ help you with, Arthur, it’s being comfortable with who you are.”

And Arthur couldn’t help but to look into those stormy eyes and nod, even though he knew deep down that being comfortable with who he was meant being comfortable liking the man he was fake-dating.

“Good. Come on then, we’ll start with a film and takeaway. You can turn this rubbish off and we’ll watch something else instead.”

Arthur snorted. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t watch in my own house, _Mer_ lin!”

And just like that, things were back to the way they used to be a long time ago.


	3. Chapter 3

“Merlin, you aren’t even looking at what you’re buying! Where is that even going to go?! No—Put that back on th— _ Merlin! _ ”

The worst idea Arthur had ever had was to go shopping for Christmas decorations with Merlin. It was bad enough that he had to spend the last week and a half trying to ‘get used to’ Merlin treating him as a ‘kind of boyfriend’. This entailed walking Elsie from next door’s dog to the park (and having to listen to her cooing over how adorable they were together whenever they dropped the dog back), going grocery shopping together (during which Arthur had to spend twice as much because Merlin would not eat meat and Arthur wouldn’t sacrifice it, and Merlin would only eat free range eggs and fairtrade fruit and veg), fighting over music in Arthur’s car (okay, it wasn’t  _ that _ bad unless Merlin put his Musicals playlist on)—and, to Arthur’s horror, it entailed getting used to the  _ touchy  _ stuff. 

Sadly, they had sat down and had a full-blown conversation over how they should be physically touching each other when out in public. This included holding hands, leaning into each other, whispering to each other, gazing at each other lovingly and occasionally hugging. Of course, Arthur didn’t  _ really _ have too much of an issue with this when they were out, but Merlin did it in the house too. He’d walk past Arthur and brush his hand over his hair or neck, and he’d sit on the sofa and throw his legs over Arthur’s, and  _ worst of all, _ he had come up behind Arthur while he was cooking a few days ago and put his hands on Arthur’s hips. 

After Arthur had burnt himself by upending the pan of bolognese in fright, Merlin hadn’t done that again.

But now, Arthur found himself walking through the Christmas section in The Range and shouting at a fully grown man for bouncing around the shop and throwing everything into the trolley.

“Oh, but Arthur,  _ look! _ It’s got little rotating sleighs and it plays silver bells! I NEED IT!” Merlin all but squealed as he threw yet another Christmas ornament into the trolley. It was like shopping with a hyperactive toddler—only with more jumping and screaming.

“Merlin, are you even checking the prices?” sighed Arthur, and Merlin wrapped a piece of silver tinsel around his waist and started dancing in front of a moving carousel that played Jingle Bell Rock. How Uther had ‘never realised’ Merlin was gay, Arthur would never know.

Of course, Hunith had told his mum and dad that Merlin was gay years ago. Ygraine was thrilled for him, but Uther had brushed it off as ‘just a phase’. If only he could see Merlin dancing like Regina George in the middle of a busy store.

Thankfully, Uther didn’t seem to mind too much when Arthur told them over the phone about his (completely and utterly fake) relationship with Merlin. He agreed to join them at their— _ Arthur’s _ —house at Christmas and his mother was of course thrilled that he had finally said something and that he could ‘stop sleeping with half of Camelot’s women now,’ which had earned a whole bundle of laughs from Merlin.

Hunith was also thrilled to be invited to their house for dinner, and she took the liberty of volunteering to invite all of Arthur and Merlin’s friends too. Arthur would let Hunith break the news to them, and once it had been done, they’d change their relationship status on Facebook.

It would be just as official as it was fake.

“Merlin, put the tinsel down—there are kids here!” Arthur laughed when Merlin starting swinging the tinsel above his head like a lasso whilst simultaneously shaking his hips, and  _ honestly, _ where the hell did he find this man? Wherever it was, he didn’t want to send him back.

Merlin threw the tinsel into the trolley and made his way to stand next to Arthur again, their shoulders and arms brushing as they walked.

“Mind, we had an agreement. No decorations up until tomorrow or I am not buying a single one of these things!” reminded Arthur, and Merlin turned to pout at him with his great big, beautiful puppy-dog eyes and— _ No.  _ Arthur wasn’t giving in to this. He had been perfectly happy with his little 3 foot fibre optic desk tree but Merlin insisted that he was an absolute Scrooge. Then, when Merlin wouldn’t shut up about putting up decorations weeks ago, Arthur had said he’d buy whatever decorations Merlin wanted if he promised not to mention them until a few days before December.

It was now the 30th of November, and Arthur watched in amusement as Merlin tried to choose between the 8 foot frosted pine with berries or the 8 foot Kensington.

“Can’t we just get both?” he whimpered, and Arthur almost didn’t have the heart to say no. Almost. 

“Come on, this trolley is quite literally overflowing with Christmas shit already, and—” 

“ _ Blasphemy _ !” Merlin interrupted with a gasp and an accusatory finger. Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just go and pay, okay?”

“But we didn’t get any advent calendars!” Merlin cried, and Arthur was  _ not _ getting an advent calendar. They had talked about this. Arthur was a grown 24-year-old man who didn’t relish spending a fiver just so that he could have a tiny square of minging chocolate every day for a month.

“No!”

“God, you’re  _ insufferable, _ ” Merlin groaned and Arthur snorted.

“I am  _ not  _ insufferable, I am mature. I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you buy an advent calendar so long as you can go and fuck yourself with it!”

Merlin slapped a hand over his mouth and gasped in over-exaggerated offence and Arthur just nodded with a proud smile as he hurried them out of the seasonal department.

Of course, when they got to the checkout Arthur wasn’t paying attention because he was too busy watching Merlin fussing over a guide dog.

“You aren’t supposed to bother them when they’re on duty,  _ Mer _ lin!” Arthur said as he watched the dog lean in to Merlin’s ear rubs.

“Oh, it’s okay, love! He deserves some attention now and then, don’t you, Whisper?” replied the old lady with the cane, and of course Merlin nearly exploded with happiness.

“Oh, is that your naaaaame? Whisssssper? Oh, you’re a good boy! You’re a pretty,  _ pretty _ boy!”

Arthur almost didn’t hear the till worker over his own laughter and Merlin’s totally not adorable ‘dog voice’.

“Would you like anything else today?” the till worker—Sophia—asked, and Arthur apologised and shook his head. He was extremely grateful that there were charity workers in the shop packing the shopping whilst he waited for the slow till to total his shopping, otherwise they’d be here all day. He gave them a twenty note in thanks.

“Okay, that’ll be £427.99p. Is that cash or card?”

Arthur was thankful in that moment that he’d gone to the loo before he came out, because he was approximately £22 away from shitting himself. He stared at the cashier in complete shock, and was only snapped out of it by Merlin appearing in his face.

“Oh my God, I’m so so sorry, Arthur, I didn’t realise I got this much—we’ll put some back, and I’ll get the other tree and we didn’t need those reindeer or the third wreath...”

But then Arthur turned around and looked at the long queue of people behind him, and back at Sophia’s pissed off expression. He was too British to cause a scene.

“I’ll pay by card,” he said, withdrawing his debit card and gently slotting it into the machine as though any sharp movements may make his bank balance hurt that little bit more.

“Oh my God, you didn’t have to,” Merlin complained, but Arthur had seen how happy Merlin was in the shop and much as he fought it, he couldn’t help but want to buy everything just to see Merlin’s smile.

“I did; I made a deal. Plus, I’d be robbed if I didn’t get to see you dance with that tinsel again,” Arthur replied, and when Merlin slung his arms around Arthur’s neck and kissed him on the cheek with a  _ ‘thank you, thank you, thank you!’ _ and a massive shit-eating grin, Arthur couldn’t help but smile straight back at him.

 

* * *

 

“HAPPY CHRISTMAS!” came Merlin’s scream from somewhere in close proximity. Arthur was whacked in the face with a pillow, and he immediately bolted up in his bed and grabbed at the closest thing to him, which just so happened to be Merlin because he was  _ kneeling over Arthur’s legs _ .

Arthur’s mouth went dry as he released Merlin’s shirt and pressed himself back into his headboard, willing the bed to swallow him up. He glanced down at where Merlin was kneeling over him and forced his arse down into the mattress so that Merlin didn’t get a good, unwelcome prod in the arse from Mr Morning Glory.

“Hang on, what? Merlin, it’s the first of December!” Arthur groaned as he picked up a the pillow and smacked Merlin across the head with it.

They shared a quick laugh before Merlin clambered to the other side of the bed. “Look, I didn’t want to come in and wake you, but I couldn’t wait. Your tea is on the kitchen bench—three sugars—and I have a surprise for you.”

Merlin smiled playfully before he slipped off the bed and sauntered out of the room, and Arthur was too intrigued to bother pulling on more than his lounge pants before he willed his erection away and followed him.

What he was greeted with— _ he should have known _ —was a sodding advent calendar. Only this one was a pretty huge, wooden one with very little decoration. Arthur looked at Merlin a little skeptically.

“You have no idea how much effort it took to find this and how many strings I had to pull to get it here by this morning,” Merlin admitted as he bit into an apple and perched himself on the breakfast bar. “Go on then, open number one.” 

Arthur narrowed his eyes.

“I said we weren’t doing advent calendars,” he said, but Merlin held up a finger to stop him going any further.

“No, that’s not  _ exactly _ what you said,” he replied and Arthur looked back at the calendar.

“What did I say, then?” he asked, confused as fuck over how Merlin had managed to seemingly find a loophole here.

“Oh no, I’m not telling you! You have to open it and then you’ll see. It’s not actually  _ your  _ calendar—it’s mine. But I want you to open number one for me. You requested it, after all”

Arthur raked his mind back to the conversation they’d had a week ago about advent calendars and he couldn’t at all remember anything about allowing them in any shape or form—and surely it wouldn’t be empty?

Curiosity got the better of him, and he opened door one to find a glittery black gift box. Arthur carried it to the breakfast bar next to Merlin and down up at him again. His eyes were a little red from sleep and his Thor pyjamas were creased down the right-hand side. Arthur tried not to wonder if that was the side he slept on.

Merlin gave him a confident nod and Arthur lifted the lid off the box. Whatever this was, it was wrapped in delicate black crepe paper. This advent calendar must have been pretty expensive.

Arthur peeled back the crepe paper and picked up the—

“M-Merlin!” he yelped as he dropped the pink, curved butt-plug onto the bench in absolute horror. “Wh—I... What th—”

“You said, and I  _ quote, _ I can buy a calendar so long as I can ‘fuck myself with it’—so that’s what I did.” Merlin smirked and nodded once in victory.

_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.  _ Why the hell had he said that to Merlin? Had he lost his  _ mind? _ And now Merlin was here in his kitchen, making him tea, eating his apples and talking about fucking himself with a butt plug.

Arthur felt himself shaking and he was almost glad that Merlin was too busy laughing to notice the situation with Arthur’s all-too attentive cock. 

Merlin picked up the plug, took a close look at it, nodded approvingly with a laugh, and then dropped it back into the box and slid it to Arthur. “Actually, you know what? I think you should have this one, it might help you, er— _ loosen up a little, _ ” and with what could only be described as an evil, high-pitched giggle, Merlin walked back into his bedroom.

As soon as Merlin’s bedroom door closed, Arthur put the offending object back behind door number one and raced into his bedroom. He threw himself back against the door and dropped his lounge pants. He was absolutely desperate and so he spat into his hand and furiously tossed himself off.

He absolutely didn’t think about fucking Merlin open with that butt-plug at all. 

Definitely not.

 

* * *

 

 

On the second of December, Arthur awoke to his phone vibrating non-stop under his pillow. He pulled his duvet over his head and groaned into his mattress before pulling out the offending object.

The first thing he registered was that it was 6.10am.  _ Who the hell was messaging him that early?! _ The second thing was the notification on his screen, which said ‘Gwaine Green has changed the conversation name to  _ Our Prince is a Princess now! _ ’

Looked like Hunith had finally told them.

 

**Gwaine:** Looks like we’ve got ourselves another ‘official’ dick lover, folks—he’s come out!

**Elyan:** @Gwaine Christ, could you refrain from using that language? I just opened this in public!

**Leon:** So I heard—though you’re hardly one to talk @Gwaine

**Gwaine:** Hey, I never said I didn’t love a good ramming up the arse—I’m just glad someone else does too :P :P

**Elyan:** Seriously!!! @Gwaine

**Elyan:** Also, that’s not the only news I heard—apparently he’s in a relationship ;) ;)

**Gwaine:** Of course he is! Our Princess doesn’t do things by half now, does he?

**Percival:** Sounds like he’s done well for himself as well. I believe he has you to thank for these circumstances, Gwaine ;)

**Gwaine:** That’s certainly right! Look @Arthur I know you’ve only just come out but now that we know you’re comfortable with it, you’re suddenly 120% more attractive—so I’m open to a threesome should you and Merlin feel the need to thank me ;)

**Elyan:** @Gwaine Are you serious right now!!! I’M IN PUBLIC

**Percival:** Ew, give the lad a chance to settle in at least

**Gwaine:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

**Leon:** Fucking hell @Gwaine I might even remove you from the chat for that, you dirty fuck

 

“ _ Jesus Christ, _ ” mumbled Arthur before typing a quick reply.

 

**Arthur:** @Gwaine I appreciate the offer but we very much enjoy not having Syphilis.

 

The replies after that came almost instantly.

 

**Elyan:** Oooooooooh fuck! @Gwaine, mate, you just got fucking rekt

**Leon:** Hahahahaha, you deserved that 

**Percival:** < _ popcorn reaction gif> _

**Gwaine:** Funny, I’m sure Merlin didn’t get Syphilis the last time ;)

Arthur dropped his phone like it was on fire and tried to rearrange his mind. There was no way Merlin would  _ ever  _ sleep with Gwaine, surely? Gwaine had slept with more people than Arthur had, and Merlin was way out of Gwaine’s league. They weren’t even each other’s type… were they?

Arthur picked up his phone again and noticed no one had said anything else, which all but confirmed that it was true. Why hadn’t Arthur ever known about this?

He threw his head back down onto the pillow and let out a long sigh. There was no way he’d get back to sleep now. 

Instead, he pulled on a pair of joggers and a Doctor Who t-shirt before heading down into the kitchen and popping the kettle on. He leaned against the bench with his eyes shut whilst he waited for it to boil. He told himself that it was because he was tired and not because the calendar was  _ looking  _ at him out of the corner of his peripheral vision.

He made his tea with three sugars and a tiny drizzle of milk—strong and sweet—and then he started raking through the cupboards for something to eat,  _ not  _ to try and distract himself from the calendar.

He had eaten a pear, a couple of jammy dodgers, one of Merlin’s coco pops cereal bars and three crumpets by the time he’d ran out of things to do in the kitchen; and so he headed towards the door to the sitting room, pausing halfway.

“Oh,  _ fuck it,” _ he whispered to himself, turning back around and approaching the object of his nightmares. He glanced around the room to make sure he was alone—which of course he was, because Merlin stayed at Will’s last night and who else was going to be here?—and he gently opened the little wooden ‘2’ door. He carefully retrieved the box wrapped in brown paper and made his way to the breakfast bar where he examined the petite gift.

Perched atop the box was a tiny little post-it note. Merlin must have put it there before he left, the  _ cheater.  _ Arthur peeled off the offending piece of orange paper and cursed his tired eyes as he tried to read it. 

_ ‘I’ve decided to be a good fake boyfriend and share _ — _ help yourself.’ _

Arthur gulped. What exactly should he make of this situation? He figured it was probably crazy to think that Merlin would use this stuff at all, but why would he ask Arthur to have it? Was it a joke? He took his time unwrapping the gift, noting that the box inside was wrapped in clear cellophane and that it was glossy black and dark blue. He didn’t want to admit it, but Arthur was  _ almost _ excited to see what it was—and sure enough when the letters started appearing under the wrapping, Arthur’s mind went straight to the gutter. 

He didn’t even hesitate this time. He pocketed the ‘Tingling Lube’ and gulped when he retrieved the plug from behind door one with a few speculative glances around the room.  _ He could do this _ .

After closing his bedroom door, he sat on the edge of the bed and laid the plug and lube out side-by-side. As he undressed himself with shaky hands, he thought about how he’d always been too scared to try this. He knew that he found men hot as hell and he’d watched enough gay porn to have an idea how things worked; he’d just never tried to do  _ this. _

He was a little nervous—what if he did this and he didn’t like it?—but he was also aware of the butterflies in his stomach and his throbbing length, heavy between his legs.

Arthur shuffled up the bed and leaned back against his headboard. He listened to his own deep breaths as he ran a hand gently up the inside of his thigh and slowly back again, tickling his skin and making himself sensitive. Usually, when seeing to himself, he’d just have a quick wank and be done with it; he’d never tried it like this before.

Closing his eyes, he tried his best not to imagine a mess of dark hair leaning into his shoulder, a lingering kiss on his cheek and a vice-like grip on his thigh. In fact, he managed quite well not to imagine those things.

That’s because his mind was too busy recalling what it felt like to have Merlin’s mouth pressed against his—tongue and teeth, hands on hips—a skinny-jeaned and leather-jacketed, fully grown,  _ toned _ Merlin.

With a squeeze and a filthy squirting noise, Arthur spread the lube down his length and set a steady, slow pace. He took care when he ran a finger over the edge of his foreskin with every up-stroke and he twisted his hand slightly in the middle of each motion, sending small ripples of pleasure through his veins.

He opened his legs further, bending his knees so his heels dug into the mattress when he thrust himself upwards firmly, but still slowly. He couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped his mouth at the way his pleasure was more drawn-out than normal.

With his left hand, he reached down to fondle his balls and gently stroke the skin of his guiche before running a brave finger every so slowly over his hole. It didn’t feel pleasant or unpleasant as of yet, though it did feel a little unusual. 

Arthur removed both hands from himself before squeezing a generous helping of the lube over his fingers, and then he returned to tugging himself off, this time at a more brisk pace. He knew he had to relax, and when another, more intense wave of pleasure pulsed through his body, he pushed a finger inside of himself.

Arthur had known it would sting, and so he stilled his left hand while his right busied itself with a rhythm of up and down movements. Only when he had relaxed again did he work his left hand slowly back and forth, so that his finger moved out and in. He knew the logic behind how to make this pleasurable, and he was getting a little desperate.

He could feel pleasure building low in his body and so he slipped in a second finger, hissing at the stretch, and then he moved his fingers around and apart to try and open himself up.

“ _ Ohmygod, _ ” he gasped when he accidentally found what he had been looking for. He instinctively arched his back and thrust his fingers over that spot again, shouting out when he did so.

His right hand began to pump faster before he tore it away so he could lube up the small, curved plug. He was quivering with anticipation before he pushed it inside himself with a ‘Ahhh,  _ fuck! _ ’ Arthur wasn’t usually the vocal type but this was like nothing he had  _ ever _ felt before. As one hand pumped him up and down, the other thrust in and out, and he found a good pace. 

Waves of pleasure flushed through him as he grew close to his finish, and he moved his hips accordingly so as to make himself moan and yell; and if he cried Merlin’s name when his orgasm tore through him, he pretended it didn’t bother him—and neither did the moving shadow that he briefly saw under the gap in his door.

 

* * *

 

On December 5th, Arthur awoke to his 6am alarm. It’d been more than a week since he’d been to work, and for once he was grateful for the early start.

It seemed that Merlin was intentionally waking up earlier on the mornings, because every time Arthur had checked the calendar since he’d gotten the lube, whatever had been in there was gone. He tried not to seem bothered by it, and whenever Merlin was around he pretended that he hadn’t even noticed at all.

But it was a Wednesday morning and Merlin had stopped at Will’s again, meaning Arthur would be able to open door 5 and claim his prize. He tried to will his morning erection away while he ironed his work clothes, but it was no use. Knowing—or not knowing—what could be behind that door was going to send him over the edge.

He opted for a cold shower, and once dried and dressed he made his way into the kitchen and leaned back against the bench. Arthur was curious as to why Merlin even thought this was a good idea. What with Merlin liking him too, when they were younger; and now that he knew Arthur was openly gay… was this a way of trying to help Arthur with coming out? Or was it just a friendly joke to try and create more banter between them?

Either way, Arthur opened door 5 and tried not to rush as he opened the rectangular wrapped box, and he couldn’t help but feel a little pleased with what he had received. He placed it in his bedroom drawer alongside his other little gifts and left for work with a proud smile.

He’d have a lot of fun with that later.

 

* * *

 

Arthur had written ‘07/12/18’ on so many patient documents that it didn’t even look like a date anymore. He wasn’t supposed to be at work, but there had been some sort of confusion which left him on his own in the pediatric psychology clinic for three long days and a ton of kids.

He was just scanning his paperwork into his laptop when his phone sprung to life.

**_< Unread: Merlin <3 (1)>_ **

Merlin had insisted that Arthur put a heart next his name in case anyone saw. Arthur resented doing so every time he saw it. He noted that it was getting late and sighed at the amount of sheets he still had to sort. He’d be another hour at least.

**Merlin:** What time will you be home, and do you want me to make the dinner now or when you get back? xxx

Arthur smiled and shook his head at this impossible man.

**Arthur:** It’s my turn to make the dinner

True to form, Merlin had been trying to do more around the house while Arthur was working, and he always came home to a totally spotless living room and kitchen. It was nice of Merlin, and Arthur had insisted that it was unnecessary, but Merlin said it was the least he could do considering all Arthur was doing for him.

**Merlin:** Yes, but you have been working three long days now and you’re grumpy so I’m cooking. Suck it up. xxx

**Merlin:** Oh and you’re forgetting the kisses on the ends of the messages! Xxx

Arthur rolled his eyes and laughed at his phone. Merlin had also mentioned that they should make their texts seem a little more ‘lovey dovey’. 

**Arthur:** Okay, babe, you can make the dinner—but only if you wait for me to bring some wine home for you. Red or white? Xxx

That should make Merlin laugh.

**Merlin:** Don’t pretend you don’t know me well enough to know I want rosé ;) Would you like curry or pasta, beautiful? I’ll nip to the shop for the stuff we need xxx

**Arthur:** And you should know that pasta is my kryptonite. Make it with the cheese sauce like you did before, it was incredible. xxx

Arthur couldn’t help but smile at the conversation, trying not to think about how real it all seemed.

**Merlin:** Okay, gorgeous. When will you be home? Xxx

**Arthur:** Probably not for another hour at least :’(  :’( xxx

**Merlin:** I’ll have Netflix and pasta ready for us when you get back. I can’t wait to see you <3 xxx

Arthur’s heart fluttered a little, and he tried to suppress the smitten grin that was threatening to wash over his face.

**Arthur:** I can’t wait to see you either, beautiful xxx

Arthur knocked his phone back on to ‘Do Not Disturb,’ otherwise he’d never get his paperwork done. At least, that’s what he’d thought. 

As he scanned his third patient file, however, half of the power in the clinic cut out, and after a quick phone call Arthur was instructed to go home. He was pleased in some ways, because he was exhausted and hungry, but at the same time he knew this paperwork had to be scanned— which would mean a night of working from home. 

That was something he really didn’t want to have to do.

He spent most of the car journey home thinking about the kids who had come to visit him today. A few with parents who had broken up, one whose Nana had passed away, a couple with learning difficulties and one who had been the victim of abuse.

He loved his job, he did, but it was cases like that last one that burned their way through his mind. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to grow up in such a situation, and he was happy to be able to help little Mordred where he could.

He gave his head a shake when he pulled up to the traffic lights. It wouldn’t do to dwell on his job outside of work. Instead, he let his mind wander to another thing that had kept his attention. Even though his early alarm had been set, Arthur had noticed that doors number ‘6’ and ‘7’ had already been emptied by Merlin by the time he got up. He was quite disappointed, because door number 7 had been pretty big, and he swore that there had been some sort of massive dildo inside of it. What else could it have been?

He pulled up at the shop on the corner and ran in for two bottles of rosé and a box of Peanut M&Ms (Merlin’s favourite). He tried to pay with Apple Pay but his phone had died, so he had to stall the queue while he went back to the car for his bank card (which of course made him feel very un-British). 

When he  _ finally _ made it through the front door, he took the wine and sweets into the kitchen and then nipped into the downstairs loo to take a leak. The house was awfully quiet, and he wondered why there was no TV or music on—and where the hell Merlin was.

After washing his hands, he grabbed the M&Ms off the kitchen bench and made his way upstairs. Maybe Merlin was showering or having a nap. 

“ _ Oh, fuck yeah. _ ”

Or maybe not.

Arthur froze outside of Merlin’s bedroom door, all of a sudden able to hear his heart beating out of his chest alongside Merlin’s whimpering. Arthur knew the door was slightly ajar and his conscience was practically screaming at him not to look.

But he was Arthur Pendragon, and his conscience didn’t make his decisions for him. His dick did.

He held his breath whilst he stepped to the side slightly, and he found himself fighting with everything he had to stop his knees giving way underneath him. There, on top of the bed in Arthur’s spare room, was Merlin—absolutely fucking starkers—with his legs spread and something over his—

_ Holy fucking shit. _

Arthur’s view was obstructed, but you didn’t need to be a gay porn expert to figure out that Merlin was fucking himself with his fingers or a plug or  _ something _ , and he had a fucking  _ cock pump _ over his dick.

Arthur tried to cross his legs when his own dick sprang to life in his work trousers, and, Gods, he’d read enough erotic fanfiction to know that those pumps not only made your dick a little  _ bigger _ but they were supposed to heighten your sensitivity by a fuckload.

All he could do was stand there and watch while Merlin’s mouth opened and closed, whimpering and moaning and pumping his fucking bulging cock, and Arthur’s mouth was watering. Christ, he just wanted to go in there and fucking swallow it whole.

And sure enough, when Merlin pulled the pump away, generously lubed up his big, angry dick and began thrusting into his fist, Arthur had to put a hand over his own mouth so as to stifle his gasp.

Merlin’s moans were ringing through the house, and it was a good fucking job they lived in a detached building because the neighbours would be in for a treat otherwise. Arthur took the opportunity to leave the M&Ms outside of Merlin’s bedroom door and ran into his own room, panting.

He rapidly undressed himself and leapt on his bed (which was against the same wall as Merlin’s in the next room) and grabbed his lube and his door 5 gift—a stealth stroker. 

It didn’t take him much to get close; he was already wound up after not wanking in two days (which was very unlike Arthur Pendragon), and Merlin’s more frequent groans and cries were pushing him ever closer.

He found a torturous pace with the stealth stroker and rubbed his fingers at his entrance, and then he waited.

And he didn’t have to wait too long.

“Oo-  _ oooh fuck,  _ fuck! Ah!” Merlin’s moans were getting louder and more erratic, and Arthur all but plunged two fingers into himself, stroking at his prostate every time he thrust them in.

“ _ Ohmygod, oh Jesus Christ!” _ Merlin fucking  _ growled,  _ and Arthur began thrusting his hips. He was so fucking close,  _ so close. _

And then, when his wall  _ rattled  _ from what could have only been Merlin throwing his head back onto his headboard, Arthur felt pleasure pooling in his stomach and building inside of him. He was in fucking euphoria.

“ _ Ahh _ —Arthur!”

“ _ Merlin! _ ”

As warm ropes of come pulsed out of him and onto his stomach and hand, Arthur realised what had just happened.

They had said— _ no,  _ they had practically  _ yelled _ each other’s names. 

There was no fucking way that had just happened.

He cleaned himself up with a towel that had been on the floor and stayed in his room for a little while, waiting until he heard Merlin’s shuffling next door.

What the fuck was he supposed to say to Merlin now? 

There was a knock on his door, and Arthur frantically pulled the blankets over his crotch before giving a hoarse ‘come in!’.

And in strolled Merlin, completely topless, a box of M&Ms in his hand.

“Are these for me?” he asked with an adorable smile on his face, and,  _ honestly, _ how was this the same man that had been fucking  _ growling _ through his masturbation session not five minutes ago?

“Er, yeah. I got home early.” Arthur replied, sitting up more on the bed when Merlin sat next to him. He had a tight grip on the blankets where they were pulled over his groin. He absolutely was  _ not _ already getting another erection.

“So I heard.” Merlin smirked, and Arthur felt the colour rushing into his cheeks. He coughed a little in panic before he responded. He had to take the only way out of this situation that he knew how: the brave way.

“Well, door ‘5’ was pretty damn good, if I’m honest,” he said, staring down at his own hands—one of which Merlin then took in his.

“Yeah? Well, I can promise you that number 7 was better,” Merlin teased. Then he stood up and made his way to the door.

“Do you still want pasta, or would you rather just order Chinese?” he asked, turning back to meet Arthur’s eyes.

Arthur could only gulp and nod in unhelpful response.

This was going to be a fucking long couple of weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

Last night, Merlin had paid for Chinese for the both of them, and they had sat together on the sofa with their food and wine and watched The Hobbit. They laughed and joked and lusted over Thorin Oakenshield and Kili (and Merlin totally had the hots for Thranduil, no matter how much he denied it), and then, as Merlin had washed the dishes, Arthur dried them and put them away.

Arthur had gone to bed feeling almost completely happy. That was, until his brain started working overtime, reminding him that what he and Merlin had was fake. Totally and unashamedly false.

The problem was, however, was that it didn’t feel false at all—but it didn’t feel like a relationship either. It felt like the way they used to be when they were in school, and the two of them were inseparable. As his thoughts spiralled between him and Merlin, and Merlin and Gwaine, and Merlin and whoever else he might be speaking to, Arthur decided to pick up a psychology book. He needed to distract his mind or he’d tear out his hair.

He was lost in a chapter about music and its effects on the brain when his alarm started screaming at him. He rubbed his eyes and cycled through his usual 6.30 in the morning routine of ironing, showering, tea, breakfast, and then turned his attention to the mystery of door ‘8’.

“Well, are you going to open it?”

Arthur almost leapt out of his skin when Merlin’s head appeared in the kitchen doorway.

“Why are you awake? It’s barely half seven!” Arthur hissed, but Merlin just rolled his eyes and snorted.

“Please, I’ve been awake for ages—couldn’t sleep,” he answered. Arthur stared at him in confusion.

“Then why didn’t you open it?” he asked.

“Didn’t seem fair, I guess.  Go on. I’ve made good use of the last two, so it’s only right you get this one.”

Arthur looked back at the calendar and examined the door size. It didn’t seem too small, but it definitely wasn’t big enough to be harboring another cock pump.

“Fine!” he snarled, not sure why he was so annoyed at his completely fake boyfriend. Maybe it had something to do with Arthur imagining Merlin fucking Gwaine open with a little pink butt plug.

Pushing that thought aside, Arthur carried the little red velvet gift box to the breakfast bar. He opened it with a little less care than usual, and when he pulled out a red curved butt plug, he felt a marginal disappointment.

“It looks a bit different from the last one,” he said, and Merlin walked over with curiosity.

“May I?” he asked, and Arthur nodded before placing the offending object in Merlin’s hand. The early morning, sex-haired, bespectacled Merlin turned the plug over in his hands and his eyes widened with delight.

“Arthur, check the box!” Merlin squeaked as he waved an excited hand in Arthur’s direction. Arthur rummaged through the black crepe paper, and sure enough he found a little remote.

_Oh._

“Oh, wow, Arthur. You know how to use this, right?” Merlin asked, looking awfully pleased for someone who had missed out on having this gift.

“Well, I’m guessing that bit goes up my arse,” Arthur said, pointing at the red silicone plug, “and that bit makes it _do_ something?” Honestly, Arthur had never thought much about using sex toys before Merlin came along. Of course, he’d watched plenty of porn and read plenty of fanfiction, but there was no point in using this toy, really. The whole point of it was to tease, and Arthur never had anyone to tease him. It wouldn’t be the same doing it to himself. Where was the fun in that?

“You’re thinking too loud,” mumbled Merlin, eyeing Arthur with concern. “What’s the matter?”

“I just—you can have that one. I mean, I don’t—I suppose.. Just take it.” _Smooth going, Pendragon._

“Look,” Merlin said, placing the plug in Arthur’s hand. “It’s yours. I guess we could always, er… Maybe you should put it in when we go out with the lads later, and—”

“Merlin, are you _barking mad?!_ I’m not going to sit and pleasure myself with a vibrating butt plug in the presence of my best mates! Why would I—”

“Actually,” Merlin interrupted, avoiding Arthur’s gaze, “I was going to take this part,” he waved the remote, “and, I was going to say—you could put the plug in and, er. I mean, we’re supposed to be together, right? We can have a little bit of fun. And—well, I guess I owe you for doing this whole thing for me…”

Arthur was stunned. The most sexy man on the planet was standing before him and _offering_ to pleasure Arthur with a vibrating butt plug—in fucking public! _In front of Gwaine!_

In a sudden stroke of confidence, Arthur gripped the plug tightly in his hand and stepped forward, placing his other hand on Merlin’s hip. He waited the briefest second to gauge Merlin’s reaction, but Merlin just frowned with confusion.

Arthur leaned in and nosed at Merlin’s ear, whispering “You have a deal,” and if he brushed his tongue over Merlin’s earlobe before turning away, he pretended it was all fine.

 

* * *

 

“Double denim? Are you trying to give me an aneurysm? No.  Go and put that nice burgundy button down top on,” Merlin ordered with a laugh when Arthur came down the stairs.

“But the jeans are black and the top is blue—it doesn’t matter if—”

“Arthur Pendragon, I will not be in a relationship with a man who wears double denim! Don’t make me break up with you,” Merlin warned pointing a gloved finger directly between Arthur’s eyes. Amused, Arthur just nodded and headed back up the stairs, laughing to himself.

“Oh, and Arthur?”

Prepared to be scolded for something else, Arthur turned around to face his fake boyfriend once more.

“Don’t forget this,” Merlin teased, throwing something at Arthur. If it weren’t for Arthur’s lightning reflexes, the plug would have rolled down the stairs, and Arthur _certainly_ wouldn’t be wearing it. In fact, he’d hoped Merlin had forgotten. The more he thought about what was about to unfold, the more Arthur was starting to regret agreeing to this. He was worried about what exactly had made Merlin choose to do this. Was it to help Arthur come to terms with coming out and being comfortable with it in public? Was it all just for a laugh? Was it revenge on Arthur for rejecting him all those years ago? Arthur wasn’t sure, but it was too late to back out now.

“ _Mer_ lin, this was in my room. How did you even know where to find it?” Arthur asked, the plug gripped tight in his fingers.

Merlin winked (which may or may not have almost caused Arthur to choke on his own breath) and feigned a thoughtful look. “Let’s say… the less you know, the better.”

Arthur eyed his fake boyfriend with suspicion, before turning to go  upstairs to change and add his, er, battery-operated buddy to his… yeah.

_What the hell was he thinking?_

 

* * *

 

Arthur held open the inner door to the Rising Sun for Merlin, who thanked him with such a sweet smile that Arthur felt the colour rush straight to his cheeks. Arthur had (resentfully) let Merlin drive them both here so that he could have a few pints, and he advised Merlin to take a seat while he went to the bar for their drinks.

“You and Merlin, then, eh?” asked Alice, the old barmaid who had worked there for as long as Arthur could remember.

“Er, yeah, I guess. It’s still early days though, you know?” Arthur replied, glancing around to look at Merlin in all his bespectacled, messy-haired glory. He couldn’t help the little smile that curled on his lips as he watched his fake boyfriend hugging and greeting their friends.

“And it’s about time. You’ve liked each other long enough! Anyway, the usual for you?” Alice asked in a soft-hearted tone, and Arthur nodded.

“And a Cherryade for Merlin please, Alice,” he added.

“Cherryade? We’re a bar, Arthur!” Alice laughed, but Arthur wasn’t fooled.

“And I happen to know that you used to sneak bottles of Cherryade in here for Merlin when his mum would only let him drink fruit juice, so I’m sure you have some somewhere. You knew we were coming, after all.”

Alice eyed Arthur with suspicion while she pulled his pint of John Smiths from the tap. She placed it on the counter top alongside a 500ml bottle of full-sugar Cherryade, and Arthur grinned appreciatively before handing her a fiver.

“No, no, no.” Alice pushed at his hand and shook her head. “Your first round is on me. The meals you lot have ordered, along with the copious amount Gwaine is likely to drink, will be enough to keep me afloat for a good few days alone.”

“Alice, I can’t let you…” Arthur trailed off when Alice’s eyebrow began the steady ascent up her forehead, and he knew better than to try and carry on this conversation. “Er, thanks, Alice,” he finished, picking up the two glasses and the bottle—all of which he nearly dropped when he tuned to see Merlin seated between a cheerful-looking Leon and Gwaine, who was currently leaning in so close to Merlin’s ear that he might as well be kissing it.

Arthur took a deep breath and headed to the table, where he sat directly opposite Merlin, between Percy and Elyan. Merlin’s eyes trailed away from Gwaine’s face and down to where Arthur was pouring his Cherryade into his hi-ball glass.

“Oh, no way did they have the cherryade! I can’t believe you even remembered, Arthur!” Merlin exclaimed, taking the glass appreciatively, and if Arthur watched, slightly open-mouthed at the way Merlin led the straw into his mouth with his tongue, he didn’t care if he was unsubtle about it.

He was about to ask whether the staff had said when they were bringing out the meals, but the words were abruptly taken from his mouth by Gwaine swinging an arm around Merlin’s neck in front of him and leaning in to place a kiss on Merlin’s cheek.

“Oooooh, we’ve missed you, Merls! I daresay I’ve missed you just as much as Pendragon here!” Honestly, Arthur wasn’t sure what Gwaine’s game was. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and became _very_ aware that the plug inside of him was incredibly close to _that_ spot. He’d probably be turned on if he wasn’t so pissed off.

Instead of taking the offence and acting like there was a problem, however, Arthur decided to be the bigger person. Merlin wasn’t a cheater and there was no way he’d ever betray Arthur’s trust like that, even if this was fake. Instead of making a scene, Arthur watched as Merlin turned back to Gwaine, waiting until Merlin was a little distracted before reaching across the table and entwining their fingers. He purposefully ignored the sideways glance he received from Leon and instead focused on Merlin’s shy smile, and the way his fingers squeezed back slightly in assurance. It was going to be a long night of pretending, but if it was going to be like this then Arthur didn’t mind.

 

* * *

 

A sixteen ounce steak and four pints later, Arthur found himself at the bar with Percy.

“I want eighteen shots please, Alice! Make them rainbow coloured for these two idiots as well!” Percy laughed and Arthur whacked him in the arm (probably doing more damage to himself than to Percy).

“Eighteen? That’s a bit adventurous isn’t it?” asked Vivian, the newest barmaid, eyeing Percy the same way Arthur had been eyeing his steak before he devoured it.

“Three each is reasonable, wouldn’t you say?” asked Percy, leaning on the bar and winking at Vivian

“In that case, we’ll take fifteen—Merlin is driving,” Arthur butted in, and Vivian smiled a huge shit-eating grin before exclaiming,

“Ooooo how adorable, you’re making sure he doesn’t drink and drive! Awww, wait until I tell Elena!” With that, she took off down the bar, leaving Alice to pour the shots on her own.

“Cheers, Alice,” Arthur mumbled , trying to ignore the flush in his cheeks. Surely it wasn’t unusual to make sure someone wasn’t drink driving?

Alice handed the tray of multi-coloured shots to Percy, and they slowly made their way back over to the table. Elyan was throwing peanuts at Gwaine, who was sitting with his head on Merlin’s shoulder.

Arthur had dealt with Gwaine’s closeness to Merlin rather well so far, but it was starting to make him wonder. What made Gwaine think it was okay to act like this when he knew about their relationship? And more importantly for Arthur, what exactly had happened between Merlin and Gwaine in the past?

“It’s bothering you, isn’t it?” asked Percy, pausing against one of the columns and eying Arthur with what looked a lot like pity. Arthur didn’t want pity, but he too paused and nodded before dropping his gaze to his shoes.

“They had a thing before, but Merlin made him swear not to tell anyone at the time,” Percival stated, and Arthur looked up to see Merlin joining in with throwing peanuts at Gwaine now.

“Why?” he asked. Gwaine was an arse, sure, but he was also a very nice bloke. He failed to see why he and Merlin wouldn’t have worked out. They actually seemed to work very well together.

“Because Gwaine wanted more, and Merlin didn’t. He didn’t tell anyone, but Merlin visited London for a few months about a year and a half ago. Obviously Gwaine was there too at the time, and they caught up with each other and I guess they agreed to, um, help each other out. But when Gwaine asked for more, Merlin said he’d never wanted that and went back to France. Leon was really angry with him when he found out after Gwaine’s message in the chat. I think I was the only person who knew before that.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Arthur asked, also annoyed at finding out Merlin had returned to the country without so much as a word to any of them.

“For the same reason I won’t tell Merlin or Gwaine that this is bothering you. Because it’s your business, and that was theirs. We’re all mates and I don’t want to cause petty fights. If Gwaine is bothering you, Arthur, then tell him and he’ll stop. He’s a prick sometimes, but he’s only doing it because he thinks you’re okay with it.” With that, Percy gave Arthur’s shoulder a tap with his free hand and headed over to the table, where the chanting soon began.

“Shots, shots, shots, shots!”

Arthur shook his head with a smile. No, he wasn’t going to be miserable. He trusted Merlin, and even though it felt like a knife to the stomach knowing Merlin had had more with Gwaine than he would with Arthur, he knew Merlin wouldn’t go against his word now.

Right here, right now, Merlin and Arthur were in a relationship, and that was how Arthur would treat it.

“Come on then, Pendragon, or are you too much of a wimp?” cried Elyan when Arthur arrived at the table.

“No one can handle shots like I can, mate,” Arthur answered with a wink as he picked up a bright red cherry sambuca.

“To Merlin’s return,” Arthur said, raising his shot glass, and the others smiled widely at him. Arthur ignored the way Gwaine’s and Leon’s smiles didn’t meet their eyes.

“To Merlin’s return!” they replied, and Merlin turned an adorable shade of pink before dropping his face to the table.

Arthur pulled the glass to his mouth, and as the bitter liquid burned its way down his throat—it happened. Arthur’s glass fell to the table (thankfully without shattering), and he swallowed so hard that he almost choked. He had forgotten all about the plug. It had been there for so long and Arthur had been too busy trying not to be annoyed at Gwaine to think about it, but _Christ_ , there it was.

He turned wide-eyed to Merlin, who leaned back in his chair and smirked. Arthur instinctively clenched his arse around the plug, and _fuck_ if Merlin wasn’t hot sitting there, looking up at him through his thick-framed glasses.

“Another one!” cried Leon, and a green drink was rammed into Arthur’s hand.

“To Merlin and Arthur!” shouted Percy. _How ironic_.

Arthur raised the glass to his mouth, his grip a little surer this time, and as he swallowed down the sour apple drink he felt the intensity of the vibrations rising.

Merlin was actually teasing him.

Arthur looked down warily to where his shirt just covered his crotch, and when he looked up at Merlin, Merlin was looking at his crotch too. Arthur’s mouth ran incredibly dry, and his stomach fluttered when he saw the way Merlin bit his lip.

“Last one!” Gwaine shouted, and Arthur picked up a black shot. He was determined to get this over with. This time, he sat down to steady himself, but that turned out to be a mistake. As he tipped his head back, the vibrations intensified yet again, but this time, they were hitting Arthur right _there._ He shifted a little and gasped at the way the plug rubbed up against him, palming his dick under the table while Merlin watched him with wide eyes.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t sit here calmly chatting to his friends while Merlin was knowingly turning him on.

Arthur stood up and ran towards the back of the bar, barely hearing Gwaine’s shouts trailing after him. “Pendragon can’t handle his drinks!”

Arthur knew that there was a toilet room for bar staff—he used to work here, after all. He typed in the old code, and God must have been on his side because the door swung open. He didn’t even pause to shut it behind him before he undid the buttons of his jeans and pulled them down to his thighs so he could grasp his impatient dick firmly in one hand.

The vibrations were rattling him from the inside, and he could feel pleasure pulsing through him in waves. He was so close already.

He fisted at his cock a couple of times, forgetting his surroundings. Caught up in absolute bliss and pleasure, Arthur zoned out the bathroom around him. This had been a bad idea, because next thing he knew, Merlin was right outside.

“Arthur, what’s wro— _oh my god!_ ”

Merlin paused in the doorway, open-mouthed, keys still grasped in his hand. He looked like he was going to say something, and in any other scenario, Arthur probably would have stopped, but this time he couldn’t. Everything just felt so _good._

“Jesus Christ!” Merlin snapped out of whatever state he had been in and threw himself into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. “Are you mental? You’re can’t wank in a pub toilet, that’s disgusting!”

“Put it on the highest setting,” Arthur moaned, his arse involuntarily clenching around the plug again. Merlin stared as Arthur spat into his hand and started fisting at his dick. He didn’t care anymore.

What he didn’t expect was for Merlin to hurriedly lower his own jeans and— _God_ , Merlin spat into his own hand and grabbed his member, resting his back against the door. Arthur hadn’t seen properly before, but up close Merlin’s cock was a little longer than his own, and just as thick.

Arthur’s mouth started to water, and he didn’t know where to look. Should he look at Merlin? His face or his dick? Or should he look somewhere else…? He didn’t know. Fuck it, he didn’t even care.

Arthur’s breathing was the first to grow erratic as he leaned his hand against the sinks and thrust into his fist, and Merlin started gasping behind him. That was when the intensity of the vibrations grew so strong that Arthur’s knees almost gave way, and he growled through his orgasm, coming all over his hand and the sink. Merlin must have followed suit, because he let out a quiet moan, and when Arthur turned around to look at him, he had just enough to time to register Merlin moving towards him before their lips met and Merlin’s hands grasped roughly at his face, smearing come all over Arthur’s cheeks.

Arthur threw his all into the kiss. His body hadn’t calmed down quite yet, and though the vibrating had stopped, the plug was still inside of him, his arse pulsing around it. Merlin pushed him back against the sinks and Arthur wrapped his own slicked hands around Merlin’s waist, sliding them under his dark grey button down shirt.

The kiss was hot and desperate and so needy, and Arthur fucking loved it. He bit down on Merlin’s lower lip and moaned, then Merlin whispered, “Oh fuck, Arthur.” and Gods, did he want to hear that more often. As though possessed by some horny spirit, Arthur pulled away from the kiss and turned his head slightly into Merlin’s hand. It was as he started to lick the come off Merlin’s fingers that Merlin snapped his hand away and jumped about three feet backwards.

“No, I—we can’t… This didn’t happen.” He sounded panicked, and all Arthur could do was stand and watch as Merlin tucked himself back into his jeans and left the room, calling back, “I’ll be in the car!” as the door shut behind him.

What the hell was that? And more importantly, what had Arthur been thinking?

 

* * *

 

When his alarm sounded on the morning of Tuesday the 11th, Arthur pulled his pillow out from under his head and squeezed it down over his face with a grunt. The last three days had been a nightmare. Every time he recalled the events of Saturday night, his brain took him back to that moment when Merlin had kissed him _._ Arthur hadn’t instigated a thing; hell, he hadn’t even wanted to wear the damn plug, and now here he was, on the receiving end of a totally pissy attitude.

Merlin had been avoiding him like the plague and didn’t even make meals for the both of them anymore. Arthur had still tried—he had been making Merlin’s coffees and ironing his clothes. Merlin hadn’t asked him to stop, but he hadn’t thanked him either, and they certainly weren’t spending time together anymore.

It had gotten to the point where Arthur was actually putting off getting out of bed just so that he wouldn’t see his fake boyfriend, if that was even what they were anymore. He was trying not to care and not to pine and mope, but he missed spending time with Merlin. Arthur had heard the phrase, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone’ plenty of times since Merlin had left all those years ago, and he wasn’t willing to sacrifice their friendship again. If that meant losing this—whatever it was—then fine. Arthur wasn’t going to let Merlin walk out of his life again for anything.

He went through his usual morning routine before picking up his keys. He had to go Christmas shopping at some point, right? He was just heading out through the kitchen, when he caught sight of the advent calender, and he noticed that door 11 hadn’t been opened. Of course, Arthur hadn’t bothered with the calendar the last few days because he’d been too caught up in feeling sorry for himself, but hey, he still deserved a little pleasure, didn’t he?

He peeled back door 11, the smallest of them all, to find a little black leather pouch. He untied the drawstring and slipped his fingers inside to pull out a clear film packet containing three black silicone cock rings. The disappointment was uncanny.

He checked his watch, and then carried the cock rings through to the living area, where he sat back on the sofa and eyed them with curiosity. He wasn’t about to use cockrings when he had no one to use them for. They were for orgasm delay, he was sure, and if he had someone to tease like that then that’d be fabulous, but he didn’t. For the briefest second, he considered heading out to Camelot’s main strip and pulling some bloke, but he was in a ‘relationship’, wasn’t he? He couldn’t just go and ‘cheat’ on Merlin. Merlin wouldn’t ever do it to him after all, would he?

“Those are cock rings,” said Merlin from the doorway, clearing his throat. “You use them for—”

“I know how to use a cock ring, thanks,” Arthur spat, and he hadn’t meant it to sound so vicious, but how should he react to being treated like he was invisible for three days?

“I’ve been thinking.” Merlin chewed his lip a little and then sat in the chair opposite Arthur. “Er, I’ve been a dick, if I’m honest. I wasn’t thinking when we went out with the lads, and I should never have followed you to the loos or kissed you.”

Arthur looked at his fake boyfriend, and at the genuine guilt on his face. A part of him, deep in his heart, didn’t want him to regret the kiss. He wanted Merlin to have felt what he did, because he was certain that there had been more to it than just lust. There had been a spark, but evidently only he had felt it.

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Arthur replied with a gloomy nod; and something flashed across Merlin’s face then. It almost looked like pain, but what did he have to feel bad about? Arthur was just confirming what Merlin had already said himself.

“Well, there we are, then.” Merlin cast his eyes downward towards his feet as he wrung his hands between his knees.

“Here,” Arthur mumbled, tossing the packet into Merlin’s lap. “Maybe you can find someone to use them with; I hear Gwaine might be interested.”

He stood up and began striding towards the front door of his house, desperate to get out. He needed fresh air and a black forest hot chocolate, but as he reached to pull his coat from the hanger in the hallway, Merlin’s hand caught his arm.

“Arthur?” he asked carefully, gesturing for Arthur to turn and face him. “Look, me and Gwaine had a thing but it was purely no strings attached on my side. I called things off as soon as he developed feelings. I haven’t even slept with anyone since, and that was fucking ages ago. Believe me, I have no one to use these with.”

Merlin waved the packet in his hand like a PG Tips tea bag, and then he bit his lip again before looking at Arthur through those stormy eyes.

“I have an idea,” he said, and Arthur just raised an eyebrow. This would be interesting. Arthur figured it would have something to do with calling off their fake relationship. “Well, neither of us have had a shag in a while, and—”

“Speak for yourself,” Arthur interrupted.

“Oh, stop being a fucking princess and just listen!” Merlin snapped before tossing the cock rings down onto the unit beside them. “We’ve both made it clear that the kiss was a little weird, right?”

Had Arthur made that clear? No. Was he going to tell Merlin that he’d gotten it wrong? Definitely not.

“So?”

“Right, well… maybe we could have a little no strings attached thing ourselves? No kissing at all, to keep it— _you know_.” Arthur didn’t want to know. “And we can make use of the calendar, and, er, I guess when the feeling strikes we can just have at it.”

Arthur didn’t know what to say. Had he really been sending out signals that he wasn’t interested in more than a shag? Hell, he had liked Merlin for the length of his entire childhood, and honestly? He had never liked anyone since Merlin had left. Sure, he’d slept around a little (a lot), but they had been girls, and anything other than that was a shady blowjob that he’d received in a club toilet. There had been no relationships, because he hadn’t wanted a relationship with anyone else.

But now, here he was with the golden opportunity. If he said no to Merlin’s request, things would undoubtedly go back to being weird and distant; but if Arthur said yes, it could go one of two ways. He could fuck Merlin into next week, and then get ditched after Christmas, or he could fuck Merlin into next week and try to win his heart in the process.

“Yeah, why not?” Arthur answered cooly, and Merlin responded with a shy smile.

“I guess I’ll see you when you get back, then.”

Arthur nodded and smiled back, and began his journey to correcting his biggest mistake.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that the way to Merlin’s heart was some sort of obscure thing that he was never meant to know. Arthur had spent all of yesterday tearing his hair out over how the hell he could manage this without letting on that he had developed feelings of his own. He couldn’t tell Merlin, obviously, and he didn’t know how to show that he cared without scaring him senseless.

He turned over the anal beads that he had pulled from door ‘12’ and smirked. He was going to be at work all day filing paperwork, and he was going to be all on his own; he might as well have some fun right? He could let himself have a day without worrying about his feelings too much.

Ten minutes later, Arthur was clambering into his car with an arse full of lube, anal beads and his vibrating plug. The remote was still attached to his car keys from Saturday night, and if he ‘tested’ it on his way to work, well, no one had to know.

 

 

 **< ** **_Unread: Merlin <3 (1) >_ **

**Merlin:** Mum’s back from France tomorrow morning! I’ve invited her over for dinner, she’s so excited to see us! Xxx

 

Arthur smiled a little grimly down at his phone. He loved Hunith as though she were his own mother, but it had been _years_ since he had seen her properly, and she used to be able to read him like a book. Surely she would notice that this whole thing was fake.

 

 **Arthur:** That’s great! Do you want me to cook? I can buy some wine on my way home again? Xxx

 **Merlin:** You can do, but she doesn’t really drink. It won’t go to waste though ;) xxx

 **Arthur:** Alcoholic xxx

 **Merlin:** Says the one who drunkenly wanked off in a pub toilet after necking a load of shots with his mates, but nooo, I’m the alcoholic. Xxx

 **Arthur:** Yes, because your wine drinking ratio to mine is at least 3:1 glasses. You are the alcoholic in this relationship. It’s a good job I think you’re gorgeous. Xxx

 

Arthur was happy that they had gone back to ‘couple texting’. After spending seven hours at work so far and having to start from scratch again three hours in because the computers were utter shite, he was pleased to have a distraction.

And as far as distractions went, Merlin was a pretty good one; but so was the situation Arthur realised he was in. He had Merlin to with as he pleased (to and extent), and he was alone. Arthur rushed to the door of his office, looking up and down the corridor before closing it and turning the lock. The only other people who had a key to his office were Gwen, Lance and the caretakers. He’d just have to hope he didn’t get caught.

 

 **Merlin:** Mmm, you’re only saying that because you want me to cook tomorrow. Xxx

 **Arthur:** Maybe, or maybe I’m saying it because I’m imagining what you’d look like with my dick buried in your arse ;) xxx

 

Arthur leaned back against his desk, smearing lube down the length of his dick.

 

 **Merlin:** Well that’s awfully bold of you to say. I think you’ll find that my face would look a lot more satisfied if it were my dick in your arse, actually xxx

 

Arthur didn’t reply straight away because he was too busy stepping out of his trousers and propping a leg up on his desk. He reached his hand down and gave the plug a little twist, which in turn made the balls move inside of him. He hummed with pleasure as he began to stroke himself through the feeling, almost missing his phone vibrating beside him.

“H-hello?” he asked, swiping at the screen. He had checked the I.D. to find Merlin calling, but he didn’t mind. If Merlin wanted to be filthy then Arthur would play along.

“Arthur? I got a little worried, you didn’t rep—what are you doing?” Merlin’s voice changed as Arthur gasped down the phone; he had pulled out the plug slightly and then thrust it back into himself, causing the balls to rub right against his prostate.

“Oh god, you’re… oh _fuck,_ at work?! Arthur, are you—you’re absolutely mental, you—”

“Oh, shut up, _Mer_ lin. How am I supposed to imagine— _ah,_ you sucking my cock if you k-keep talking like th-that?” Arthur stuttered as he turned the plug and pushed up into his fist.

“ _Oh,_ ” Merlin whispered, and Arthur couldn’t help the grin that curled on his lips.

“Yeah, oh,” he teased, before loudly jangling his keys and turning on the vibrator.

“Oh, _hell_ .” Merlin actually _whimpered_ from the other side of the phone, and Arthur positioned himself awkwardly on the very edge of the desk so that he could use it to ride himself while one hand pulled at his length. The other held on to his mobile, where Merlin was now on speakerphone.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked, pausing to wait for a reply. There was a muffled thudding noise and the sound of a door closing before Merlin returned with an ‘Mm?’

“I don’t want to come unless y-you’re doing it with me. I want, _mppfff,_ I want to hear you.” Arthur breathed through the phone, and the only sound for a few seconds was the slapping of his hand against his crotch and the two erratic breathing patterns. Then Arthur heard a loud squeezing noise. _Merlin had the lube_.

“Oh, _shit._ ” Arthur heightened the intensity of the vibrations yet again, and when he heard the squelching of Merlin’s cock being fisted at an alarmingly fast pace, Arthur spat into his hand and closed his eyes.

The pleasure was incredible, and knowing Merlin was getting off over him made it a million times better. Gods knew he wanted Merlin in every way possible, and that was what he was going to do. As he pressed the ‘+’ button a few more times, he found himself jack-hammering into his own hand, and he startled when Merlin _growled_ his name in a low, loud voice, tipping Arthur over the edge into orgasmic bliss and he came over his desk and clothes.

Then there was silence.

Maybe this had been a mistake. They’d obviously both gotten carried away, and now all Arthur could hear was Merlin’s heavy, muffled breathing. He didn’t know if it had been seconds or minutes, but when Arthur heard Merlin inhale deeply, he shimmied off the desk and threw himself into his office chair.

“Arthur?” Merlin whispered, and Arthur didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah?” he answered. All of a sudden, his heart was racing and his skin was growing hot all over.

“Come home?” Merlin asked, and the first thing Arthur thought about wasn’t what he and Merlin were going to do, or what they had just done. It was that Merlin had called Arthur’s house home.

“I’m on my way,” he murmured, before pulling his trousers back up over his sticky crotch and heading to his car, grinning the entire way there.


	5. Chapter 5

As it happened, when Arthur had returned home the previous day, everything had gone apocalyptically wrong. He had been a horny mess for the entire drive home from his office and he hadn’t even made it through the front door before Merlin was wrapped around him and rutting against him and kissing him all over.

It had been going perfectly, until there was a God awful screeching noise outside. It didn’t take a medical expert to know that the sound wasn’t good; and when Merlin rushed to the door and immediately yelled for Arthur to ring a vet, Arthur’s heart sank in his chest.

The alsatian had been injured in a hit-and-run and had been knocked out from the impact. Merlin had spent the entire length of the car journey between crying and hugging the dog; and when she came around in the car, Merlin’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. They had spent best part of six hours in the out-of-hours, emergency vet clinic where Merlin paced back and forth and Arthur tried to calm him with soothing and reassuring words. Merlin, though, never said a word in return.

The vet later came out and said that the dog was chipped, and her owner would be informed that she was with the vet and doing well. She had mild concussion and a fractured hind leg which had needed quick surgery and stitches, but she would make a full recovery in no time.

When they headed home; Merlin sat with his head against the car window, blood staining his pale pink t-shirt and his hands. Arthur hadn’t known what to say, as it had seemed he had been the one talking the entire night. So instead, he had let out a shaky breath and reached across to rest a hand on Merlin’s knee.

A few seconds later, Merlin had put his hand on Arthur’s and they had sat like that for the rest of the car ride home; and if Arthur hadn’t left second gear, well, neither of them had said anything about it.

That was how their night had played out, and that was why Arthur was now sat staring at door 12 with a lump in his throat. Merlin had obviously been quite deeply affected by the events of the previous night, and Arthur didn’t want to take whatever was behind that little wooden door because he wanted Merlin to at least have one nice thing today.

Merlin had been running around Arthur’s house all morning trying to make the place look tidy (even though it was already spotless), and he had already been to the local ASDA three times for different treats and snacks because he didn’t want Hunith to feel unwelcome.

As far as Arthur was aware, Merlin hadn’t seen his mother in the flesh since his short-lived shagging spree with Gwaine, and he was both excited and anxious about his mother’s visit. The two of them knew, however, that Hunith was an all-seeing, mind-reading woman and that she would probably see through this entire thing should they slip up.

“Merlin, why don’t you sit down and have a cup of tea? Have you even eaten yet?” Arthur asked Merlin after he had stormed into the kitchen, Mr. Muscle in hand and started scrubbing the inside of the oven.

“No time.” Merlin grumbled and Arthur knew that this was absolutely ridiculous. Why the hell would Hunith be looking inside their oven? No, if Arthur was to be a good fake boyfriend, he had to look after his other half.

“Right, that’s enough,” Arthur huffed as he took the scruff of Merlin’s shirt in his hand and dragged him upstairs.

“Get off, Arthur, I need to- _Ow!_ Where the hell are-”

“Right!” Arthur interrupted, as he tossed Merlin into the bathroom. “I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible, but you’re pissing me off. The house is as tidy as it’s going to get, especially with all of those bloody light-up monstrosities scattered around the place, and it does not need tidying any more, do you understand?” He took Merlin’s shoulders in his hands. “Stop-tidying-up!” he shouted, accentuating each word with a shake of Merlin’s shoulders.

“But the-”

“Blaaaaadadadadada,” Arthur exclaimed as he pressed a finger to Merlin’s lips. “No. I’m not having a go here, but you haven’t stopped all morning. We were awake in that vet clinic for the best part of the night and that dog fucking bled on you all the way there, Merlin, and you haven’t even had a wash yet! So you are going to sit- _here_ ,” Arthur stressed as he pushed Merlin’s shoulders down to sit him on the toilet seat. “And I am going to run you a hot bath and we are going to talk about life like two people happily in love, okay?” ordered Arthur, and Merlin just gaped at him as he poured generous helpings of bubble bath under the running water.

Once Arthur had stopped swishing the water around with his hand, he dried his hand on his jeans and perched himself on the edge of the bath. Merlin’s head rested against the tiles with his eyes shut and his glasses slightly askew. Arthur couldn’t help the little curl of his lips at how adorable it was.

“Are you going to tell me what is actually the matter?” Arthur asked. Truth be told, Merlin was pretty lazy. Yes, he probably would clean up for his Mum’s arrival but he certainly wouldn’t do it to this extent, and he had been avoiding Arthur all morning.

Merlin opened his eyes and looked straight ahead at the wall with a sigh before gently shaking his head.

“ _Mer_ lin, we got home last night after being out for hours, and you didn’t even eat or drink anything! You locked yourself in your bedroom and you have quite literally ignored me since then. Something is wrong and I am not leaving this bathroom until you tell me what it is.”

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest and tried to pull his best stubborn face but Merlin only sighed once more.

“You have to leave the bathroom, otherwise you’ll be seeing me in all of my naked glory. So, I’ve already won this argument.” Merlin droned before closing his eyes again, and Arthur didn’t see what Merlin was getting at, at all. Did he really think that would make Arthur back down? It was time for Arthur to change his tactics.

He checked his watch, which told him they had about three hours before Hunith’s arrival; and that was more than enough time. Arthur quietly lifted himself from the edge of the bath and leaned in close to Merlin, careful not to give his close presence away. Then, once he had looked down at where their bodies were separated, he pressed a hand over Merlin’s crotch whilst simultaneously taking the skin of Merlin’s neck into his mouth and sucking.

Initially, Merlin had jumped and grabbed Arthur’s t-shirt at the waist; but then Arthur felt his shoulders relax and his grip tighten while he exhaled a quiet moan.

“Mmm, you like that, do you?” Arthur breathed into Merlin’s skin before taking it between his teeth. He could feel Merlin’s dick hardening under his left hand, and all Arthur could think about was how Merlin would taste; and about how it would feel to have a cock in his mouth for the first time.

“ _Ahhh, Shit”_ Merlin groaned as he tilted his head a little more, giving Arthur better access, and it took all of his will not to just strip Merlin there and then; but he had a plan.

“C’mon Merlin, _tell me._ ” Arthur groaned before swiping his tongue behind Merlin’s earlobe, and he heard the sharp intake of breath in Merlin’s throat.

“Mmmmf. Can’t” Merlin rasped, and Arthur pushed his hand harder against Merlin’s now throbbing length. He needed Merlin to talk, and there was one way he could do it. He slowly trailed his lips down to Merlin’s collarbone before tugging at the hem of his shirt. Thankfully, the bespectacled idiot didn’t protest, and he allowed Arthur to lift the shirt over his head.

From here, Arthur moved down Merlin’s torso, his tongue barely touching the skin of his chest. It wasn’t until he was over Merlin's left nipple that he paused, making sure to breathe a little harder than usual.

“Tell me what you like, Merlin. I hear I’m quite clever with my tongue.” Arthur teased, before gently brushing his fingertip over pebbled skin. “Do you like things easy?” Arthur looked up to Merlin’s face, to see sweat beading on his forehead, his eyes crammed shut and his mouth ajar and panting.

No, not good enough; Arthur needed him to watch. Arthur slowly pulled away, leaving a pattern of hot breath up Merlin’s chest before he leant in close to Merlin’s ear.

“Or do you like things, _rough?_ ” Arthur accented the word by scraping his thumbnail hard across Merlin’s nipple and _fuck_ , if the noise that came out of Merlin’s mouth wasn’t the filthiest thing he had ever heard.

Arthur dropped to his knees and pulled Merlin down towards him, taking the nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting; and Merlin was writhing above him, moaning and _growling_.

“Jesus _Christ,_ Arthur! Oh f-fuck,” Merlin’s hands wound into Arthur’s hair and pulled roughly this way and that, and Arthur was right, Merlin did indeed like things rough. He pulled his head back and kissed his way down Merlin’s stomach where he took the waistband of Merlin’s batman lounge pants into his mouth.

“Off.” Arthur ordered, and Merlin stood up- dropping his trousers to the floor immediately. Arthur had a feeling that he’d be more impressed every time he saw Merlin’s dick. It just looked so fucking _delicious_.

Arthur stood up and Merlin’s hands slammed against his chest, pushing him back against the wall where he latched on to Arthur’s neck with his teeth; no doubt leaving marks as he went. Arthur could feel himself pulsing against his jeans and he was desperate for this, but he had to wait it out.

Just as Merlin began to lift the base of Arthur’s t-shirt, he pushed Merlin back with so much force that he fell into the bath. Only then did Arthur walk over, take off Merlin’s glasses, then lean in close, and look him dead in the eye.

“If you want your dick sucked, _Mer_ lin, you’ll tell me what’s wrong.”

Arthur then deposited Merlin’s glasses on the side of the sink, turned off the taps and sauntered out of the bathroom; all the while with Merlin gaping at him.

 

* * *

 

Obviously, Merlin was going to try and beat Arthur at whatever this was; because other than to take the chicken from the oven and to prepare his own veggie wraps, Merlin never entered the kitchen where Arthur had been sat at the breakfast bar waiting since the bathroom incident.

Sure, Arthur would love to get some release, but Merlin was noticeably more irate than he was; which meant Arthur was winning. Merlin paced the kitchen, completely ignoring Arthur who was sipping a cup of tea with a smug grin plastered on his face.

“You know, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur spoke, causing Merlin to jump and drop the tub of garlic dip he was holding. Arthur chewed the inside of his cheeks to prevent a laugh from bursting out of his mouth and then continued. “You really ought to loosen up. We don’t want Hunith thinking we’re having a lover’s spat,” Arthur teased and Merlin didn’t even look in his direction.

This whole thing was hilarious.

Arthur finished his tea and wandered over to the kitchen sink. He made a point of threading his arms around Merlin, who was washing a pan, and rinsing his cup under the water with his chin perched on Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin stilled between his arms and Arthur curved his wrist to check the time. _Perfect._

“Imagine, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur whispered into Merlin’s ear; elongating the words and adding some extra breathiness for effect. “Image how it could have been, how I would have looked with your amazing cock thrusting into my mouth. I’ve seen your cock now, Merlin,” Arthur pushed his groin forwards into Merlin’s arse so Merlin knew this was affecting him too. “And I’ve never wanted to suck one so bad before. It would be the first blow job I’ve ever given, imagine that? Imagine me _sucking_ your come from you, like it was what my mouth was made for.” Merlin whimpered and Arthur pulled his wet hand back from the sink, sliding it slowly under the waistband of Merlin’s jeans. The other hand did the same, sliding around the back and grasping Merlin’s ass cheek firmly.

Arthur was in no mood to waste time, and as he palmed Merlin’s erection, he rubbed a wet finger over Merlin’s already-clenching hole. Arthur hadn’t done this to someone before but he was relatively certain it wasn’t rocket science.

Merlin gasped when Arthur pushed the digit inside, slowly maneuvering through layer of tense muscle until he couldn’t go any further. He stilled his hand for a moment until he felt the pressure loosen slightly around his finger. Only then, did he begin to explore and stroke around, curling his finger this way and that until Merlin growled and gave an involuntary thrust into Arthur’s other hand.

There it was.

“You like _this?_ ” Arthur breathed, pushing another finger inside this time and swiping them both over Merlin’s prostate, making Merlin moan and throw his head back.

After a little bit of teasing, Arthur was certain he was the God of Patience and Resilience because it took everything he had not to just bend Merlin over the sink and pound into him; but this wasn’t about Arthur. So, he stroked Merlin into incoherence before removing both hands from Merlin’s body long enough to lube up the plug he had stashed in his back pocket.

He tugged down Merlin’s jeans, and with care and gentle ease he slid the plug deep inside of his fake boyfriend. Merlin’s entire body shook and Arthur grinned before twisting the plug, pulling out slightly and thrusting it forwards again. He did this a few times, Merlin’s desire making his breathing faster and his knees shake.

Other than fucking him senseless, all Arthur wanted was to spin Merlin around and kiss him until their lips were swollen and tingling-but he had to remind himself that this wasn’t about what he wanted, and for now this had to stay as what Merlin wanted. A casual fuck here and there. But lord be damned if Arthur wasn’t going to enjoy it as much as he could. If he couldn’t kiss Merlin, well he’d just have to drive him crazy instead.

With quite the _CRACK_ , Arthur whacked Merlin’s arse cheek, eliciting the _hottest_ cry he had ever heard, and then he rubbed the already reddening skin whilst sliding a cockring over Merlin’s length.

“What’re y-”

“Shhhhhh…” Arthur interrupted, and he dangled the remote control keychain from his finger in front of Merlin’s face.

“Oh no you fucking don’t, you’re not going to-”

“Helloo, Merlin? Arthur?” came Hunith’s voice and Merlin’s eyes widened in horror. Arthur watched, amused, as Merlin scrambled for his boxers and jeans.

“We’re in the kitchen, just up and to your right!” Arthur called and Merlin pulled a fork out of the sink and pointed it between Arthur’s eyes.

“You’re a wanker, Arthur. A total wanker!” Merlin hissed and Arthur just winked at him and picked up a tea towel.

“Maybe we can test that theory later.” Arthur whispered with a wink and Merlin elbowed him in the ribs.

“Oh, look at you two doing the dishes together!” Hunith exclaimed from the doorway and Merlin spun around to face his Mother. Arthur’s heart swelled in his chest and as Merlin strolled into Hunith’s open arms; he felt even more for this man than he had before.

And if Merlin was walking a little funny, well, Arthur would keep that joke to himself.

 

* * *

 

“Arthur, that was absolutely delicious! Where on earth did you learn to make those?” Hunith dabbed her mouth with a napkin after quite literally devouring her melt-in-the-middle chocolate pudding. Arthur knew the basics of cooking, but when it came to baking he was pretty talented; thanks to Ygraine of course.

“Well, Mum mightn’t have spent much time with me when I was a kid but when she did we always baked. I guess I just enjoyed it, and it was nice to make a vegetarian version for this dollophead.” Arthur squeezed Merlin’s hand. The hand he had been holding on the table for the past twenty three-and-a-half minutes (not that he was counting).

“Oi, that’s my word!” Merlin scolded as he sipped from his third and rather large, glass of rosé wine.

“It’s not even a word!” Arthur mocked, and Merlin just held his glass to his face and snickered.

“Clotpole.”

Arthur sighed happily and turned to Hunith whose eyes were darting back and forth between the two of them. So far, they had managed to keep Hunith talking about the past five years of her life. She had been minding her business for the most part, working from home on editing novels. It wasn’t amazing pay but more than enough to get by.

Before Hunith had arrived, Arthur had been hell bent on torturing Merlin all afternoon. In fact, he was certain that his efforts would prove effective and that Merlin would tell him everything that was on his mind; but seeing the way Merlin was with Hunith here, and the way they were around each other…

Arthur didn’t dare press anything on that remote quite yet. He had forgotten what it was like to have a proper relationship with a parent. Hunith had always been at home and Merlin got to spend whatever time he wanted with her. So did Arthur and Leon, actually, though Arthur’s visits were more frequent.

When Hunith’s eyes fell on his and Merlin’s entwined fingers for the thousandth time, Arthur jumped up from his chair.

“Er, I’m going to start washing up. Does anyone want more wine or anything?”

“I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea, petal.” Hunith replied and Arthur nodded before collecting the plates and forks and carrying them through to the kitchen. As he filled the kettle, he tried his best not to think about what Merlin and his Mum would talk about in Arthur’s absence. He genuinely found himself worrying about whether she approved of him. He did reject Merlin, after all.

While the kettle started to boil, Arthur filled the sink and started to wash all of the cutlery. He and Merlin had held hands and passed each other things and teased and tormented each other. They had been their usual selves, just with a little more touching. Hell, Merlin had even stolen a mouthful of Arthur’s dessert, much to Hunith’s amusement.

That was what bothered Arthur, though. It all felt so natural and so relaxed, and Arthur knew he had a couple of weeks before it had to end. He promised himself he wouldn’t get too attached but he just couldn’t help it. Nothing in his life had ever felt so right, so complete.

He picked up a cup from the side and began to swirl the sponge around the inside of it when Hunith’s voice made him leap out of his skin.

“Tea?” she asked from behind him and he realised he had forgotten all about making some.

“Oh, shit. Sorry- Oh _fu-_ Jesus.” Artur stumbled over his words. Correcting a swear word with another... what an idiot move; but Hunith only laughed.

“I figured you’d forgotten. Is something on your mind?” Hunith asked and Arthur, and though knowing it was pointless, he shook his head and turned back to the sink. Hunith then appeared next to him, tea towel in hand and began to dry the dishes he had placed on the draining board.

“You don’t have to-”

“Arthur Pendragon, you two have slaved after me all afternoon. I will help where I want to help.” Hunith stated, and Arthur wasn’t going to argue with her when she took that tone, no Sir. “So you and Merlin then? How are things going? I must admit I was shocked he moved in so quick but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so relaxed. You bring out a good side in him, Arthur.” Hunith said with a gentle smile and Arthur paused, plate in hand.

“Merlin’s never had a bad side, there isn’t one to see.” Arthur pointed out, and Hunith sighed sadly, making Arthur’s stomach churn.

“Look Arthur, I don’t mean to blame you or anything here,” Oh _Christ,_ it was his fault whatever it was. “But after you rejected him he was absolutely shattered. He cried nearly every day and had it not been for Leon then he would have never moved on.”

“Yeah well, Will wasn’t exactly the fucking golden boy, was he?” Arthur spat, angry at himself more than anyone else.

“Arthur, please don’t take that tone with me.” Hunith warned in a strangely polite manner. “I’m trying to make you see. Merlin wasn’t upset that you didn’t agree to go out with him. At the time you thought you were straight, which is fine. Merlin is many things but he isn’t stupid and he knows that people can’t help what they feel. He was upset, Arthur, because you abandoned him.”

Arthur exhaled slowly and tried his best to swallow the looming lump in his throat. He knew he had abandoned Merlin, and that was because Arthur hadn’t ever been straight at all. Merlin had always been everything he ever wanted but Arthur had to pretend not to be gay, and the only way to do that was by keeping his distance. He’d never have been able to control his urges otherwise.

Hunith took his wet hand in both of hers and looked up at him. “Arthur, darling, look at me please.” Arthur nodded a little and looked up from the floor to meet her kind, gentle gaze. “I understand it was a rough time but it hurt him. He was very distant for years and he hadn’t even cared that Will had cheated. Nothing seemed to phase him anymore and when he decided he’d go and stay with Gaius in France, I thought it would be a new chance, you know? But the reason I’m telling you is because I want you to know that he has always cared very deeply for you, and I’m incredibly happy he has you now. He hasn’t been like this in a very long time and I hope with all of my heart that the two of you last as long as your parents. I always thought you were made for each other as friends, but maybe it’s always been more.”

With that, Hunith placed the tea towel on the bench and stood on her tiptoes to kiss Arthur’s cheek. “Thank you.” she whispered and Arthur felt nothing other than burning guilt. Especially when he noticed that she’d left him a hot cup of tea on the bench.

What had he done?

He remained in the kitchen and tried not to think about how much this whole shit show was going to break Hunith’s heart as well as his own, as he finished washing the dishes.

Arthur hadn't realised how much it had hurt Merlin when he had rejected him. If he'd known that Merlin had been down for as long as he was, Arthur would have said something or done something. It seemed that Arthur’s life was on a path forged by guilt and bad decisions and he didn't want to look at Merlin or Hunith in the eye again.

At least, that's what he told himself before he was distracted by Hunith shouting through to him.

“Arthur, honey? I’m nipping to the loo then heading off!”

Arthur leaned back against the kitchen counter to gather himself and heard an audible yelp from the next room. Assuming Merlin had somehow injured himself, Arthur dashed straight through. “What happened?” he asked, and Merlin, stood with his hand against the side unit, shot him a glare that said whatever had happened was somehow Arthur’s fault.

“Wanker!” Merlin hissed. What could he possibly have done to make Merlin annoyed? He rested his back against the side just as Merlin gasped and his knees wobbled beneath him.

“Merlin, are you alright?” Arthur asked, concern filling his stomach with nerves. Merlin hadn’t had _that_ much to drink and he’d definitely eaten plenty. He placed a hand on Merlin’s side for reassurance and before he had time to even think, Merlin was all over him.

Arthur was pushed into the armchair and Merlin dove on top of him, laving at his neck and biting and sucking-then Arthur remembered. Of _course_ , he’d put the remote in his back pocket, the pocket he had just absent-mindedly pressed against the walls.

“Merlin, your Mum!” Arthur whispered before thrusting his fingers through Merlin’s hair.

“Mmm, don’t care- want your mouth on me so much,” Merlin groaned into Arthur’s collar and Gods, if Merlin being this desperate didn’t fucking turn him on _so much._

“Nope, you have to- _ahh_ -tell me first,” Arthur breathed before pushing Merlin back and managing to stand up.

Arthur watched, smug, as Merlin stepped right up to him and looked him dead in the eye with challenge. The electricity between their bodies was hot with need and Arthur’s eyes followed Merlin’s tongue as it brushed slowly over his lips.

Had Arthur wanted to ruin everything, he would have kissed Merlin. He would have grabbed his hair roughly and forced their bodies together. He would have pushed his tongue deep into Merlin’s mouth and sucked on those lips; but he couldn’t.

Distracted by trying not to kiss his fake boyfriend, Arthur was very caught off guard when Merlin’s hand fell against Arthur’s chest and pushed him towards the wall with a force Arthur never knew he had. Then, when that same hand trailed quickly up Arthur’s chest and landed around his neck, Arthur gulped and his dick strained against his jeans.

“No,” Merlin growled against his ear and Arthur’s whole body shuddered from top to bottom. “You are going to suck my dick first, Arthur, and you’re going to fucking like it.”

There was something about the authority in Merlin’s tone that made Arthur want to succumb to everything Merlin ever asked of him, but Arthur wasn’t one to give up on a well thought out plan. He turned his head slightly and caught Merlin’s eye once more. Their lips were merely millimetres apart and Arthur could feel their breaths blowing against each other between their faces. Arthur licked his own lips, and as he pulled his lip between his teeth, he reached into his back pocket and pressed the little button that would heighten the tension.

Merlin was strong, but not strong enough. He tried hard to keep up the tough facade but Arthur heard the way his breath hitched and saw the little flinch. Satisfied with the results, Arthur closed the gap the smallest amount more before moving his hand forward to palm Merlin’s hard, throbbing dick.

“Make me.” Arthur snarled and just as Merlin’s lips lay the briefest touch on his own, there was a cough from the doorway.

_Shit._

Arthur and Merlin leapt away from each other and Arthur nervously rubbed his hands against his jeans.

“Er, I uh… I’m-”

He was interrupted by Hunith’s little giggle as she zipped up her coat. “I had a feeling I had interrupted something after I’d arrived.” she teased, and Arthur could feel the colour rising to his cheeks.

“Come on, Mum… please d-”

“No interrupting me please, Merlin. I’m happy you two are obviously physical! Try not to have too much fun when I leave and remember to stay safe and to-”

“Yeah, Mum, just get out!” Merlin hurried before quite literally pushing his Mother out of the sitting room and out of the house.

“Bye Arthur!” Hunith shouted as Arthur shook his head and walked over to stand next to Merlin in the porch.

“See you Christmas day!” he replied, and the second Hunith’s car was out of sight; Arthur found himself on his knees in the open doorway to the porch, Merlin’s fingers pulling aggressively at his hair.

“Oh fuck, I thought she’d never leave.” whined Merlin as Arthur pulled at the buttons of Merlin’s jeans. “Oh, _fuck,_ Arthur.”

Arthur yanked Merlin’s boxers down to his thighs and stared at Merlin’s throbbing erection when it sprung free. Why did Merlin’s dick look more impressive every time he saw it?

“Mmm, I wish I had a real boyfriend that looked at me the way you look at my dick,” Merlin pulled Arthur’s hair roughly so that his head tilted back and he was looking into Merlin’s eyes. “Do you really like it that much?” Arthur moaned when Merlin inched forward and rubbed the end of his leaking cock across Arthur’s cheek, and there was something about the possessiveness in Merlin’s tone that made Arthur not want to ever move.  “Do you want it, Arthur?” Merlin was whispering now, and Arthur nodded slightly, his eyes falling back down to the god-like dick in front of him

“Are you going to tell me what was wrong?” Arthur replied, his voice small but sure.

Merlin’s thumb found Arthur’s bottom lip, which he pulled down-an invitation for Arthur to open his mouth. And when Arthur did, Merlin pushed himself ever so slowly inside, his breathing heavy. “That depends on how good you are.”

Arthur’s eyes rolled back in his head at the sweet and salty taste of Merlin, and when Merlin’s fingers worked through his hair, tugging and pushing, Arthur moaned. Admittedly he hadn’t done this before, and he tried to think of how to apply what he had done to women, to Merlin. He’d also watched enough gay porn in his life that he was sure he knew what he was doing.

When the breeze tickled Arthur’s wet lips, he slowly pulled off of Merlin with an obscene popping noise. “Maybe we should shut the door?” Arthur suggested, as he looked out into the almost fully-dark street.

“Why? Scared you might be seen?” Merlin teased, and Arthur laughed and shook his head.

“If I was scared of being seen, I would not be sat in a porch full of large windows sucking your cock, _Mer_ lin. I just don’t fancy getting hypothermia.” Arthur answered as he shoved Merlin aside and pushed the door closed. This time, he didn’t hesitate before taking Merlin in his mouth once more, causing Merlin to stumble slightly, landing with his back leaning against the door.

Arthur worked his mouth up and down Merlin’s length, twisting his head slightly here and there. He moved Merlin’s foreskin back and forth with his hand as his mouth worked, and everytime on the pull-off, he swiped his tongue over Merlin’s frenulum, causing his breath to hitch in his throat.

Then when Merlin yanked his hair back, Arthur looked up into his eyes and well, if Merlin was going to watch he might as well try to impress. He licked his lips before pushing down over Merlin’s dick. The first intrusive push against the back of his throat almost made him gag but he forced himself to relax-pausing just long enough to wink up at Merlin who gasped when Arthur forced himself the rest of the way forwards, until his nose was buried deep in Merlin’s groin and his throat was full to the brim of cock; and God it felt fucking amazing.

Arthur had registered that the timer on the vibrator must have given in a little while ago, so he reached behind into his back pocket and knocked the ‘+’ button, making Merlin thrust into his mouth a little.

Arthur hated surprises and everything associated with them, so Merlin would be extra surprised with what Arthur had planned. He pulled off Merlin’s cock now, slowly licking his way up Merlin’s torso whilst pushing up his shirt, and as Merlin pulled it off, Arthur focused his attention on Merlin’s left nipple; licking and nibbling until he was content with little ‘uh’ that escaped Merlin’s throat. After biting and sucking and leaving nice, red marks along Merlin’s collarbone and neck, Arthur pulled away slightly and looked Merlin deep in the eyes.

God, he wanted to kiss him so bad.

Instead, Arthur waited a few seconds before reaching behind into his pocket to knock up the intensity and when Merlin yelled ‘ _fuck!_ ’ Arthur grabbed his thighs, lifted him up and slid both of their bodies down to the floor, pulling off Merlin’s jeans and boxers completely in one swift motion.

Merlin never even had a chance to speak before his legs were lifted over Arthur’s shoulders, and Arthur went to work licking around his balls whilst he spat in his hand and grasped Merlin’s length once more

Merlin was whining now and Arthur could see the plug in front of him, he could feel it _vibrating_ through Merlin’s skin when something occurred to him. He didn’t know why he hadn’t given it much thought before, but this same plug had been inside him and fuck if that didn’t make him nearly come there and then.

He sat back for a moment to free his own weeping dick; and turning up the intensity of the plug to full, Arthur had one hand on himself, one on Merlin, and his tongue now at work around the plug, licking and sucking at Merlin’s ass.

He could feel pleasure building within him beneath the surface and he held off because he _knew_ what he wanted, and when Merlin’s breathing grew erratic, Arthur pulled away his tongue, held his face above Merlin’s cock and opened his mouth wide so Merlin could watch. Ropes of come shot into his mouth and across his cheek and chin, and when Merlin cried his name; Arthur swallowed and shuffled forwards before pleasure took over him. He cursed when he came over Merlin’s lean body, and just when he thought that nothing could ever be any hotter than this, Merlin smirked and ran his fingers through Arthur’s come, licking it from his fingers with a grin.


	6. Chapter 6

On the 13th day of December, Arthur woke to the dulcet tones of ‘Lonely this Christmas’ playing from his radio alarm. Instead of switching it to snooze for half an hour, Arthur lay staring at the ceiling; the memory of Merlin inside his mouth still fresh in his mind, and in other places apparently.

Once they had cleaned themselves off, Arthur had poured them both another glass of wine each and they sat on opposite ends of the sofa talking and joking. Arthur insulted the stockings Merlin had chosen for the fire, and Merlin mocked Arthur for his choice in Christmas music (which had to be strictly piano music, no exceptions). Arthur laughed along with Merlin, even though it was killing him knowing that he couldn’t close that distance. He might have Merlin in a sexual sense, but that was never what he wanted, and it still wasn’t (though he didn’t mind, of course). In fact, it only made him want Merlin more.

He thought of how his heart broke in his chest when Merlin fought tears after telling Arthur that the reason he had been upset was because he had been worried that the alsatian they rescued wouldn’t be picked up and that she’d be put down. Merlin had wanted to leave his number with the vet clinic just incase, but he knew he didn’t have the right. He knew Arthur wasn’t overly fond of dogs, and he couldn’t just take a dog back to Arthur’s house.

Arthur had known that Hunith was allergic to dogs and so Merlin could never have one growing up, and he found out that while Merlin was in France, he had adopted three dogs-all rescues- that he’d had to leave behind with his Uncle Gaius.

Merlin had been trying his best not to appear too upset, but Arthur knew Merlin better than anyone and he could tell that Merlin was seriously worried.

So that was why Arthur was pleased he had an early finish after work today, and why he decided to spring out of bed early. He had a plan.

Instead of going about his usual routine, Arthur headed towards the kitchen for a coffee. He wasn’t expecting for his ears to be abused by Dexys Midnight Runners once he was half way down the stairs. Grateful that he had no close neighbours to disturb, Arthur crept into the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe.

“Oh,” he whispered when he was met with the sight of Merlin in Arthur’s Groot t-shirt and a tight pair of black boxers, standing over the oven and quite literally shaking his stuff to the music.

As the chorus came on, Merlin began to wave the spatula in his hand and sing along under his breath. “Oh I swear… at this moment… you mean everything,”. Arthur couldn’t help that his mouth was watering, and it wasn’t from the pancakes that Merlin was making either. “Oh my thoughts… verge on dirty,” Arthur’s body moved before his brain could start yelling at him, and he snaked his arms around Merlin’s movings hips, taking Merlin’s bulge firmly in one hand and breathing softly against his ear.

He expected Merlin to be surprised, but instead he just carded a hand through his black hair and leaned back onto Arthur’s shoulder. “Morning,” Merlin whispered and Arthur couldn’t fight the smile that crept across his lips when Merlin pushed his groin forward into Arthur’s hand.

“Morning.” he replied, palming Merlin’s hardening dick through his boxers.

“As much as I’d like to see where this is going, I’m about to burn my pancakes.” Merlin grinned, and Arthur held up his hands in a surrendering motion, but not before taking Merlin’s earlobe between his teeth for a brief second. “Oh and 13 needs opening. I’ll let you do that while I eat.”

Arthur settled back against the breakfast bar for a moment and watched the effortless way Merlin moved around the kitchen, his hips swaying to the ‘toora, toora ta-loora’ while he pulled some caster sugar from the cupboard and then sliced into a lemon. He pushed his glasses up his nose before rolling the lemon on the chopping board, poking a hole in it and then squeezing it over his rolled up pancakes.

After sprinkling over the sugar, Merlin licked his fingertips and Arthur’s semi-hard cock throbbed in response. The song on Merlin’s playlist changed to Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt and after Merlin had finished making his and Arthur’s coffees (Arthur hadn’t even asked, but Merlin just knew by now), Arthur decided to speak up.

“We agreed to having no Christmas music until the 21st, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur stated, and Merlin remained blissfully ignorant as he maneuvered around their- _Arthur’s_ -kitchen. Merlin had agreed that the only Christmas music he’d listen to would be strictly piano until the 21st. They had come to a compromise; if Merlin wanted fairy lights in the windows, there was to be no shit Christmas music before the 21st. “ _Mer_ lin,” Arthur repeated as Merlin grabbed his plate and coffee off the bench. Arthur was certain Merlin was just going to ignore him completely but then Merlin paused with his back facing Arthur and he moved backwards slowly, stepping in time with the music.

_‘Come and trim my Christmas tree,’_

Merlin stopped an inch in front of Arthur and turned his head slightly, not looking at Arthur as such, but enough for Arthur to see his smirk.

_‘With some decorations bought at Tiffany,’_

Arthur gasped when Merlin pushed his arse back against Arthur’s arousal and swayed his hips to the slow beat; rubbing himself torturously on Arthur’s groin.

_‘I really do believe in you.’_

Arthur grasped the edge of the bench, determined not to give in to whatever kinky revenge this was; and Merlin placed his tea on the bench and took one of those hands in his own; bringing it forwards.

_‘Lets see if you believe in me.’_

Merlin rubbed his own erection with Arthur’s hand and if Arthur was horny as hell before, then he didn't know how to define how he felt now. Merlin turned his head enough so that he could suck on Arthur’s neck, biting into it and leaving his mark.

“I think this time,” Merlin whispered against Arthur’s skin, sending a shiver down his spine and straight to his dick, “you're going to let me come in your face,”. Arthur thrusted forwards into Merlin’s behind just as he walked away, picking up his coffee before he left the room without so much as a backwards glance.

Any other time Arthur might have been annoyed or irritated, but he just smiled shyly down at the empty space in front of him with a “God, give me strength”, before opening door ‘13’ and taking the slim silver box through to the living room.

“Here,” he said, sitting down next to Merlin who was watching the news, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose. “Do you want to open it?” Arthur asked but Merlin just shook his head.

“I want to eat my pancakes before they go cold. You can open it for us.” Merlin nodded, his eyes fixed on the television.

“Us?” Arthur grinned. “What happened to taking turns?”

Merlin finally pulled his eyes away from the TV and looked at Arthur with a grin. “So are you telling me that you wouldn’t want to use whatever that is with me?” Merlin asked, pointing his fork at the shiny box.

Arthur just huffed a little laugh and untied the box; genuinely amused when he saw the small bottle of cherry flavour lube inside.

“What is it?” Merlin asked, eyes still facing ITV news; and Arthur decided three things in that moment; 1- He didn’t like not being centre of attention, 2- He didn’t mind skipping his shower and 3- He knew what he wanted for breakfast.

And if Arthur arrived for work half an hour late because he sucked Merlin off and Merlin came all over his face, making him need a shower- well, no one had to know.

 

* * *

 

**< _Unread: Merlin <3 (2) >_**

**Merlin:** Chocolate, Vanilla or Caramel? xxx

 **Merlin:** I don’t even know why I’m asking, I know it’s gonna be chocolate xxx

 

Arthur smiled down at his phone when he saw the texts from Merlin. He was on his 15 minute break and would have a little time to chat and eat the little graze box he’d bought from the hospital café.

 

 **Arthur:** Are you talking about ice cream, because it’s making me hungry and all I have are three tiny lemon flapjacks :( xxx

 **Merlin:** No, you clotpole. We’re making cupcakes tonight! xxx

 **Arthur:** Oh we are, are we? We both know I’m the better cake maker, Merlin xxx

 **Merlin:** Yes, and you’re going to teach me. So was I right? Chocolate? xxx

 **Arthur:** Get some bournville cocoa powder and some cupcake cases, I have everything else in already xxx

 **Merlin:** Aaahhhhh I can’t wait! I love cakes! xxx

 **Arthur:** Are you going to be trouserless again? Because if so, I can’t wait either :P xxx

 **Merlin:** Seriously, you suck my dick twice and now you can’t get enough of me? ;) xxx

 **Arthur:** I’ll suck it again if you let me... xxx

 

Arthur looked around his lonely office and grinned to himself. If someone had told him this time last month that he would be sat at work texting his old crush about blowjobs, he’d probably have slapped them for even thinking about such a ludicrous thing. Yet, here he was; hoping to God that he could have a mouthful of Merlin’s unbelievable dick later on. He didn’t want to dwell on the fact that he’d have to settle on some barely-above-average cock after this was all over.

 

 **Merlin:** If you do a good job of teaching me how to bake, maybe I can teach you how I like to suck dick for a change. Don’t stay too late after work ;) xxx

 

Honestly, Arthur hadn’t even thought about anything other than having Merlin in his mouth. He’s be quite happy just to live the rest of his life with that throbbing erection between his lips; but he hadn’t even _considered_ what Merlin’s plump lips would be like wrapped around his own member.

Arthur realised he had ran over his break and rushed back to the clinic trying not to think of what Merlin would look like on his knees below him. He had other things to worry about.

 

* * *

 

The little bell rang above the door as Arthur stepped into the vet clinic. He was pleased to see that the waiting room was completely empty. This would make the first stop on his little trip a little easier.

“Can I help?” asked the young receptionist. Arthur looked at his name tag - George.

“Uh yes, I was actually here a few nights ago. We brought in an alsatian who had been hit by a car outside of our- _my_ -house. I just wanted to check up on her,” Arthur answered, and George’s eyebrows raised in familiarity.

“Oh yes! Satsuke!” George exclaimed.

“Satsuke?” Arthur repeated, puzzled.

“Yes, Satsuke. That was her name.” George replied as he started typing into the computer on his desk. Arthur thought about what George had said. ‘That _was_ her name’. Arthur’s stomach dropped.

“She didn’t… Is she-Did she-”

“Oh, God no, sorry about that! I didn’t mean to worry you, I’m just bringing up her details; she was discharged this morning.”

Arthur couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him as he leaned forwards against the reception desk.

“Wow, you seem really concerned.” George muttered as he looked up at Arthur, and Arthur just shook his head and laughed a little.

“I just didn’t want to have to go home to tell my frie-my _boyfri_ -I didn’t want to have to tell my… my Merlin-”

“It’s okay, I get it. Your boyfriend was really worried right? I remember the night staff telling me. Well, you can tell your er- _Merlin_ that Satsuke was discharged after having surgery on her leg and waiting to see if she’d contract an infection. Thankfully, she didn’t and she was given the all clear. She didn’t very much like the cone of shame though. Her owners were incredibly happy that you’d brought her in, actually. Here,” George held out a plain white envelope. “They left this for you both. I guess you should give it to your _Merlin_.”

Arthur took the envelope from a very smug looking George and then, after asking directions to a certain secret place, he left the clinic with a winning smile.

 

* * *

 

Arthur had made his second stop and was just pulling up outside of his house when he saw his worst nightmares had come to life; Merlin had put decorations in their garden. This was where he drew the line, there was absolutely no way he was letting Merlin get away with this. They had made a deal and Arthur was absolutely _not_ allowing this. He wouldn’t be that prick with a house like those pompous twats off Home Alone.

He was through the front door before he had even had time to think straight, and as soon as it was shut behind him he inhaled deeply and yelled an unearthly “MERLIN!!!” through the house. He searched for the switch which led to the dribox outside and switched it off, plunging his garden into it’s usual unlit state.

“I’m in the kitchen!” came Merlin’s voice and Arthur shrugged off his leather jacket and purposefully stormed through his house.

“ _Mer_ lin! Why the _hell_ have I come home to the garden lit up like the national lampoons fucki-”

It took a lot to actually surprise Arthur Pendragon. That time his father had kissed a cat on the head last year hadn’t surprised him, not even the time that Percy necked on with Gwaine for a dare. In fact, he was pretty sure he could come home to Merlin lying naked on the kitchen counter and he still wouldn’t be as shocked as he was now; having to face Will in his own kitchen.

Will looked up at him with a scowl. “You haven’t changed much then, your brain not caught up yet?”

Fury quickly replaced shock and Arthur actually began to shake.

“You do realise that you are in _my_ house, don’t you? You ca-”

“ _Our_ house.” Merlin interrupted and Arthur’s mouth fell open when he turned to face his fake boyfriend turned blowjob buddy.

“Are you _arguing_ with me?” Arthur asked, outraged, and Will just laughed as he pulled himself up to sit on the breakfast bar. “Oi! That’s a fucking countertop!” Arthur scolded and Will actually _tutted_ at him.

“Oh _please,_ Merlin's already told me he had your arse on here anyway so what's the problem?” Will teased and Arthur felt his skin heat up as he turned to face a slowly reddening Merlin.

“You said _what?!”_ Arthur began to shake and he turned back to Will again, not caring if he was too close. This was his house and this cheating little prick wasn't welcome here. “What makes you think you're allowed in here anyway? I generally don't let two-timing filth on my premises.”

“Arthur,” Merlin warned but Arthur wasn’t about to give in.

“Two-timing filth? That’s rich coming from the bloke who had to sleep with the female popularity of Camelot to realise he was actually gay.” Will spat, leaning forwards and closing the distance between himself and Arthur so they were millimetres apart.

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ try that with me” Arthur threatened. “You fucking _cheated_ on him and left him an absolute mess. You ca-”

“ _I_ left him a mess? _Me?_ Are you fucking _stupid_ , Pendragon? You were the reason he got all fucked up.”

“ _Will,”_ Merlin cautioned from behind them.

“It was _you_. You have no idea what I had to deal with after _you_ cast him out. You don’t deserve him.” Will sneered and before Arthur had the chance to raise his arm and knock that look right off his face, Merlin was next to him, snaking his arm around Arthur’s waist.

“Hey,” Merlin said gently, taking Arthur’s face in his hand and turning his head. When Arthur looked into those breathtaking eyes, he felt his heart rate steady, if just a little. “I don’t want to do this okay? I’m not asking you two to get along and I know it won’t ever happen, but if we are going to be sharing this house, Will is allowed in here.”

Arthur wanted to be angry, he did, but he just couldn’t when Merlin’s level-headed pleading was making his heart ache.

“Okay,” replied Arthur softly before turning to shoot Will a warning glance. “But the decorations outside are going; and he says one more thing about me and I put him on his arse.” Arthur added.

“I’d expect no less.” Merlin giggled.

 

* * *

 

Arthur had taken himself upstairs for a nap until Will had gone home; but all he could do was lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, listening to the two of them taking the decorations down outside.

Arthur had never understood why Merlin had remained close to Will after what Will had done, but it hadn’t mattered in the end. He had lay there while Will and Merlin laughed together outside, and once Will had left a little while later and Merlin had knocked on his door; Arthur couldn’t miss the genuinely happy expression on Merlin’s face and he’d be damned if he was going to take Will away from him.

“You okay?” Merlin asked from the doorway.

“Yeah, I think I am,” Arthur answered. “I guess as long as I’m not near him I don’t mind- _well_ , I do mind, but I’ll tolerate it”

“Thank you, I know you can’t stand each other so it means a lot.” Merlin sounded so genuine as he sat on the edge of Arthur’s bed, his head bowed. “I mean he probably won’t even be coming back now and once Christmas is over he won’t have any reason to be here, so nothing to stress about” he added, quietly.

Merlin was right, unless Arthur’s plan worked; he and Merlin would be a thing of the past very soon-which reminded him…

“Oh, I have something for you.” Arthur exclaimed as he bounced from the bed and lifted his trousers which he had left folded atop the drawers.

“You can give me anything in that state of undress and I’m sure I’d appreciate it.” Merlin teased and Arthur remembered he’d stripped to his boxer shorts before heading to bed.

“Well,” said Arthur, fishing the plain white envelope from one of the pockets. “You’ll like this even more, then.”

He presented Merlin with the envelope with the biggest knowing smile on his face, and Merlin eyed him curiously before taking and opening the envelope.

“Read it out loud,” ordered Arthur, crossing his arms.

“Oh, its a thank you card!” Merlin grinned, and Arthur nodded, his heart already expanding in his chest. He couldn’t wait for Merlin to stop worrying about the alsatian.

“ _To the lovely men who helped our beautiful Satsuke_ -Oh is this about the alsatian?! I can’t believe they named her after Satsuke in Totoro!- _Our beautiful girl is getting on in age now, and gets a little confused from time to time. We were informed by the clinic that you both were very attentive to her, and that you stayed to make sure that she would be okay. We can not thank you enough; when we realised she was missing, our son was devastated and I dreaded having to tell a 6 year old boy that something had happened to her._

_I wanted to thank you both personally for looking after her. She may be old and dizzy, but she’s young at heart and is a very loving girl. Her leg will be a little sore for a while but she should make a full recovery._

_You are both heroes, and I will be forever grateful._

_Love, Satsuke’s Mum -_ Oh Arthur!” Merlin looked up at Arthur with tear tracks on his face and a heartbreaking smile. “You went back? Is that how you got this?”

Arthur’s lips curled shyly and he nodded. “Yeah, I nipped in today after work. Couldn’t bare to see you upset over it any more, you know?” and before Arthur knew it, Merlin had swung his arms around Arthur’s neck and pulled him in for the best hug Arthur had ever received.

“Oh, Arthur. Thank you so much, this means so much.” Merlin whispered tearfully into his shoulder, and Arthur just rubbed his back and thought for the first time that things might actually work out.

 

* * *

 

“You know, you don’t actually have to sit in front of the oven and watch them bake, right?” Arthur asked Merlin, who was perched on the kitchen floor, his knees pulled up to his chest.

“But they already smell so nice! I can’t wait to eat them!” Merlin squeaked and Arthur couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Yes but first they need to cool, then they need decorating.” Arthur sighed, and when Merlin didn’t respond, he paced back over to the countertop behind them. “So, if you’re just going to sit here, I guess I’ll lick the bowl.”

Arthur had gotten halfway into the sitting room before Merlin’s wandering arm came flying over his shoulder with a spoon in hand. “Jesus, Merlin, at least wait until I sit down!” Arthur pulled the bowl out of Merlin’s reach, but he wasn’t expecting to be pushed playfully into the wall. He watched, irate, as Merlin’s spoon found a helping of cake batter, and without thinking, Arthur barged Merlin’s shoulder in late retaliation. The problem was, that Merlin had a spoonful of batter now, and it went all over Arthur’s neck.

“Whoops!” Merlin laughed and Arthur scowled.

“It’s like living with a sodding toddler, it really is.” Arthur muttered and Merlin held up the spoon in front of him before smearing it, intentionally, over the top of Arthur’s shoulder. “ _Mer_ lin! What on earth are you playing at?!” he scolded, but Merlin only waved the spoon at him before bringing it to his lips and licking it slowly, mesmerisingly. He then leaned in close, pressing the spoon to Arthur’s lips before whispering in Arthur’s ear.

“Mmmmm, but would a toddler do this?”

Merlin nosed his way down from Arthur’s ear, and Arthur focused on the pattern of his own breath accelerating whilst Merlin’s lips closed around his neck, sucking off the batter while his tongue swirled circular patterns across his skin.

“Why are you so damn delicious, Arthur?” Merlin whimpered, and if that didn’t make Arthur’s head (and dick) swell, what would?

Bowl still in one hand, Arthur licked the spoon that was still pressed against his lips before tugging on the bottom of Merlin’s shirt. Merlin didn’t linger; he peeled off his dark green t-shirt and then moved back in to made quick work of clearing the batter on Arthur’s shoulder.

“Mmmm- _Merlin_.” Arthur sighed and he felt Merlin’s grin against his neck. Arthur made to deposit the bowl on the floor, but Merlin grabbed his arm.

“Oh no you don’t,” he warned, seductively. “We’re going to be needing this.”

Arthur hadn’t ever thought much of food and sex before. He had once had squirty cream put over his cock but the girl (was it Lindsey, Linda? Lauren maybe…) who delivered the blow job was too worried about getting her hair dirty to really put in much effort. Since then, Arthur had never really tried it again; but hell-he’d probably try anything with Merlin.

He didn’t wait for a signal or request before thrusting the bowl into Merlin’s hands and stripping off his jumper and lounge pants. Grabbing the bowl back, he dipped in his hand and smeared the chocolate batter all down Merlin’s chest (and then added a little to his nose just because).

“Oh so that’s how you want to be?” challenged Merlin, raising an eyebrow.

“I guess it is,” Arthur replied cockily, crossing his arms and leaning back against the opposite wall to where Merlin stood.

They glared at each other intently and Arthur knew that if he were allowed, this would be the moment he would thrust forward and snog Merlin senseless; but he couldn't. Instead, he licked his lips and marched forwards, taking the situation and Merlin in his own hands. Grasping Merlin’s hips, Arthur swung him around so his stomach was pressed against the cold wall, smearing chocolate all over; and as Merlin gasped, Arthur thrust his clothed erection into Merlin’s hip and began biting at the side of his neck. He could feel Merlin shiver in his hold and Arthur knew that he wanted to reduce him to absolute incoherence.

Merlin twisted himself so that his arse pushed against Arthur’s length and as Arthur bit and sucked and marked Merlin’s neck, their grinding against each other became messy, desperate and frantic.

“Oh _God_ , Merlin.” Arthur moaned into Merlin’s neck and before he knew it he was being pushed back to the opposite wall again, this time with Merlin’s hot, wet mouth attached to his nipple whilst he palmed Arthur’s groin.

“I want you to suck me again, Arthur,” Merlin breathed.

“You don’t even have to ask, Merlin. _Mmm_ , I love your dick and you know i- _Ahh._ ”

“Yeah, well I want to suck yours too for a change, yeah?” Merlin rushed and Arthur pulled away long enough to look into Merlin’s darkened, dilated eyes enough to say;

“Oh, fuck yes.”

At that point, they became a blur of fast-moving bodies; licking and sucking and biting at every inch of skin they could get their mouths on. They didn’t even make it to the sitting room. Arthur could feel Merlin on him everywhere and at some point they had both lost the rest of their clothes and Arthur was on his side on the hallway floor, Merlin’s cake batter covered cock forcing its way into his throat whilst he happily hummed around it and tried not to be too overcome with the pleasure of having his arse-cheeks spread around Merlin’s tongue and finger.

“Oh, _Arthur,_ you’re so good at this. I can’t believe I’m the first bloke you’ve given head too; you’re- _Ahhh-_ you’re so fucking good,”

Arthur could only groan around Merlin’s throbbing arousal while he was being scissored open by the addition of a second finger. He wasn't going to last, not with Merlin all over him like this.

If he wanted to come with Merlin, he had to speed things up. Arthur pulled off of Merlin’s length with a popping sound and Merlin barely had the chance to look up before Arthur thrust two of his own fingers into Merlin’s mouth.

“Mmmm,” Merlin sighed while he sucked up and down Arthur’s digits and Arthur thought it was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen.

“I guess we’re both whores for sucking then,” teased Arthur. Merlin reached around quickly, and with a ‘ _Crack!’_ he smacked Arthur’s arse.

It was Merlin who came first, shooting his seed down Arthur’s throat while Arthur stroked _that_ sensitive spot inside and not only did Merlin come a _lot_ , but he also cried Arthur’s name so loud that Arthur found himself bursting with pride.

It didn’t last long however, before Merlin had found the same spot inside Arthur and began to pump Arthur’s cock whilst mouthing at his balls. Arthur came with a shudder and a gasp; and they both lay there, chocolate batter and come smeared on their cheeks and chests and who knew where else.

“Wow.” whispered Merlin, swivelling around so that he he lay with his head next to Arthur’s; and Arthur looked deep into those sated, fascinating eyes and smiled shyly.

“Yeah, wow.” Arthur breathed; and just as their faces inched that little bit closer; the oven timer began to buzz.

For a second, Merlin seemed alarmed and whipped his head back from Arthur’s so quick he could have gotten whiplash; but then a big genuine smile broke out on his face as he all but squealed; “Yayyyy, they’re ready!”.

There was still time, yet.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The past week had been incredibly boring. Arthur and Merlin hadn’t really interacted because now that Hunith was home, Merlin spent a lot of time with her. Arthur had work too, of course, and between Christmas shopping, eating and sleeping; they hadn’t had much time for anything else. Thankfully, Arthur had finished work early today, and he was going to the Camelot village green Christmas fair. Honestly, he couldn’t wait to have the night with his friends. He and Merlin had spent the last hour trying to assemble a new dining table they had purchased, which by some miracle actually fit in his house at all.

This year, Arthur was hosting eleven extra people if you included Merlin. He dreaded to imagine what the house would be like with the array of personalities. Gwaine would be much too foward for his Father’s liking; and he didn’t know how Hunith would react to his sister, Morgana, who generally thought very little of those less fortunate than her.

“Aaaarrrghhh! I’m so excited!” Merlin came bouncing down the stairs in his skinny jeans, white t-shirt, black leather jacket and with his hair all stylishly messed up on top of his head. Arthur gulped at the sight of him; because in all his life he had never seen anyone look so bloody attractive. “Oi! Earth to Arthur!” Arthur refocused his eyes on Merlin’s face and nodded blankly. “Right then, well get your shoes on!” Merlin laughed and Arthur sat down on the stairs to pull on his Vans. “Oh, and we best put scarves on too, it’s bloody freezing out there!”

“You are _not_ wearing a scarf with those clothes, Merlin.” Arthur warned, and Merlin turned his head and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Arthur, if we are going to do this whole fake relationship thing right, you better believe that I will never let you tell me how I will or will not dress.” Merlin pulled a black scarf around his neck and, surprisingly, it didn’t look bad at all. Arthur just scowled when Merlin turned around and said; “See?”.

“At least turn that shit off before we go.” Arthur said, his voice a little gentler than he intended.

“You said I could have Christmas music on the 21st Arthur, and it’s the 21st,” teased Merlin as he walked into the sitting room and grabbed the remote; turning off Magic’s ‘Christmas treats’. “There you go, miserable.” Merlin snickered, and Arthur glared back at him.

“I’ll show you miserable-just wait until Christmas morning. Santa is getting you sweet fuck all!” Arthur threatened jokingly and Merlin brought his hand to his chin, feigning concern.

“I guess I’ll have to bribe him with a good rimming then” Merlin whispered before flicking his tongue in and out of his mouth (why the hell was that so sexy?!) and then whacking Arthur on the behind.

“Come on, off we go.” Merlin shouted as he made his way outside, and Arthur followed; a grin etched on his face.

 

* * *

 

“Here they are, the two Princesses!” Gwaine called as Arthur and Merlin approached him, Percival and Leon. They exchanged a few hugs, but everyone was surprised when Merlin got Gwaine in a playful headlock with ease and rubbed his fist through his hair.

“Call me a Princess again, Gwaine, and you’ll lose your kneecaps.” Merlin laughed and Arthur really didn’t want to be turned on but he just couldn’t help it. How was Merlin that strong? Before Arthur’s mind could wander too far with thoughts of how overpowering Merlin could be, Leon took his hand and turned them away from the others.

“How are things going, then?” he asked, eyeing Arthur with curiosity.

“Er…” Arthur didn’t want to tell Leon they were casually giving each other head but he didn’t want to tell him that they were any less than what they were. They were friends with benefits that also happened to be fake boyfriends; but how could Arthur put that in less words? “Erm, yeah we’re fine.” he squeaked and Leon raised an eyebrow.

“You’re fine? Arthur you can’t tell me that you two are both so distant from each other when you’re _living_ together. Are you at least friends again?”

Honestly, Arthur wasn’t certain of the answer to that. Were they really friends? They were getting along fantastically but it didn’t feel like a friendship; it felt like more. There were moments where everything just felt so natural. The fleeting touches, the sitting close together, the blow jobs definitely felt natural… so why did Arthur suddenly think that things weren’t okay? Probably because if this didn’t work out, and if he and Merlin did in fact split up, then Arthur would probably never be able to look him in the eye again.

“Yeah, we’re friends.” Arthur mumbled a little sadly; and before Leon could question him further, Merlin’s fingers found his and they all made their way inside the park.

They wandered through stalls, watching Gwaine fail at knocking down bottles and watching Leon beat a little kid at fairground basketball; but letting the kid have the teddy anyway if he got a high five in return. They watched Percy hit that machine with the hammer so hard that the bell rang and then it broke, and after demanding his plushy snake and wrapping it around his neck, he apologised profusely to the bloke who was running the attraction.

Arthur was enjoying watching their friends and he and Merlin walked hand in hand without saying a single word to each other; but they didn’t have to.

“I’m glad that you’ve come out, Arthur.” Merlin muttered as they leaned on a little railing that led into the rides section of the fair. Arthur thought about this, and how he’d been so scared of what other people would think and the looks he might get; but no one had even batted an eyelash at them tonight.

“Yeah, me too. I never thought it’d be so easy.” Arthur replied, turning his body so he was facing Merlin.

“It shouldn’t have to be a challenge, being who you are. You should always be yourself Arthur, you’ve always been an incredible person.” Merlin whispered just loud enough for Arthur to hear, not meeting his eyes.

Arthur felt his heart swell and stomach flutter. “I know it shouldn’t, and I’m glad I can be comfortable with who I am now. That will always be your doing, Merlin. You’ve made me a happier person since you came back to Camelot.” Arthur spoke, sincerely.

Merlin snorted and shook his head, turning his head back towards the rides. “I’m glad I helped you figure out who you are Arthur, even if it was years too late.”

There was a certain acid to Merlin’s tone and Arthur felt a jab of hurt. He was only trying to compliment Merlin and now Arthur’s confused past was being dragged up? “Merlin, I didn’t understand back then. I was scared of how I felt and I thought my Dad would kill me. I think he still might when he sees me… I truly am sorry, Merlin, if I could go back and change-”

“Don’t, seriously.” Merlin turned to face him now, a false smile set on his face. “Don’t feel like you need to justify yourself, I understand. I’m not angry at you or anything, I’m more angry at myself, really. But don’t worry about it. We should probably be good boyfriends and go and socialise with our friends now.” Merlin said, dragging Arthur to a nearby hook-a-duck stall while Arthur tried to make sense of what the fuck just happened.

Thankfully, he didn’t have time to dwell on his thoughts for very long, because after hooking his ninth duck, Arthur had a whole crowd around him cheering him on to hook the tiny red duck that would win him the giant Koala teddy.

“Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!” the chanting felt exhilarating, but what really kept him so grounded was Merlin’s hand around his waist as he leant forward and in one swift movement, captured the little red duck on his hook.

The small crowd around him congratulated him and he received a few pats on the back; but all Arthur cared about was the impossible smile on Merlin’s face.

“That was amazing,” Merlin giggled and Arthur grinned.

“Mmm, it was, wasn’t it?” he teased and Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Alright then Mister Arthur, here is your giant Koala!” said the burly man whose name badge identified him as “Duckman Dave”.

Arthur took a quick glance at Merlin, and then to his friends before looking at Dave with a smirk.

“Thank you,” he said, taking the enormous koala (really, it was absolutely huge) out of his hands and turning to Merlin. “And this is for you…” Arthur added, holding out the koala to Merlin.

Arthur initially thought the high pitched squeak came from one of rides until Merlin wrapped his arms half around the koala and half around Arthur’s neck. “Oh Arthur, thankyou. No one has ever won me a koala before!” Merlin exclaimed and though there was no malice behind it, Arthur couldn’t help but turn to Gwaine and stick out his tongue.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, so we need to get a group picture, and then Merlin and Arthur definitely need a couple’s picture together!” Percy instructed as they entered the big picture tent, and Arthur was absolutely _not_ a picture person.

“No. No chance.” Arthur replied, shaking his head vigorously as though to imply the importance of his argument. “It’s bad enough having to chip in a fiver to be put with your ugly mushes, but I’m not paying a further £20 for a couple’s picture!”

“You’re right,” Gwaine intervened, his hand resting on Arthur’s shoulder. “ _I_ am. It’s my christmas present to the both of you, so suck it up, Pendragon.”

Arthur probably deserved it; and after being given a santa hat and a cardboard moustache on a stick, the flash lit up the room and the five of them gathered around the little computer that showed them their photo.

Of course, Arthur’s eyes first travelled to Merlin who had a pair of sunglasses perched atop his head and wore a light up necklace. What then grabbed Arthur’s attention was the way his arm was wrapped around Merlin’s and the way their sides were pressed against each other. Arthur hadn’t even realised they had done that at all.

“Elyan’s really missing out tonight,” Leon sighed and the others agreed. Elyan was back at the rising sun for a family meal, but they’d be meeting him there in an hour or so.

“We’ll each take a copy,” Merlin said to the photographer, and she printed them each a high quality picture.

“Who was it for the couples picture?” she asked and Merlin gestured awkwardly between himself and Arthur. “Do you have a specific photo idea in mind? It has to be Christmas themed!”

“Yes we do!” yelled Percy, and Arthur’s stomach dropped. Whatever this was, it wasn’t going to be good.

Arthur fretfully let himself be placed into position by Gwaine and Percy stood Merlin opposite him so they were both facing each other.

“Okay, so we’re going for first Christmas together as a couple,” Gwaine laughed, and Arthur inhaled deeply.

“Arthur, we’re gonna give you the mistletoe to hold over your heads.” Percy added and straight away, Arthur looked at Merlin with wide eyes. They had agreed not to kiss, and Gods knew it was all Arthur had wanted this whole time.

Merlin gave him a little nod before turning back to Percy. “So you want us to kiss, what else?” Merlin asked, seemingly amused.

“Just kiss, and here,” Gwaine handed Merlin a stick with a piece of paper on the end that read ‘It’s Christmas!’. “Hold that up and we’ll position it in the right place for the picture.”

Merlin nodded and Gwaine and Percy disappeared behind the camera with the photographer. Arthur tried to avoid Leon’s scrutinising glance and instead turned to Merlin.

“If you don’t want to, we-”

“Well we know it’s just for a picture so I don’t mind. It’s staged, right?” Merlin shrugged, so Arthur just nodded in agreement and tried not to get too excited.

“Alright boys, hold up the mistletoe!” The photographer shouted and Arthur held it up over their heads and ran his tongue over his lips in anticipation. “I’m gonna need you to kiss for a few seconds so I can position the prop and then snap the shot, okay?”

Merlin gave her a thumbs up and Arthur couldn’t look Merlin in the eye. “Alright, hold up the prop; and on three! 1… 2… 3!”

Arthur stepped forward, his free hand falling on Merlin’s side whilst Merlin’s hand took his cheek. Arthur saw the little nod Merlin gave before his eyes fell shut, their lips met and heat rushed to Arthur’s head.

The problem was, that Merlin wasn’t kissing him. Arthur didn’t want to open his eyes for fear of ruining the pictures, but their lips just settled on top of each other’s; completely unmoving.

There was no spark anymore.

And when the picture was taken, Arthur swore he felt Merlin pull at his lip the tiniest little bit before pulling away. Then, Merlin wiped his eye before turning away and heading towards Leon, who greeted him with a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Come on then, Pendragon! I have your present!”

Five minutes later, Arthur was walking out of the tent with a 10x8 portrait of he and Merlin not-kissing in an engraved frame that read ‘First Christmas Together’, and a new realisation that Merlin really might be only doing this for the sex.

 

* * *

 

After they had arrived at The Rising Sun with teddies, sweets and assortment of raffle prizes, they had each wolfed down a meal and a few pints. Elyan’s family had left, and Arthur had the chance to wish Gwen and Lance (who were now 100% official) a happy Christmas.

The drinks were in full flow, and Fridays in The Rising Sun only meant one thing. It was karaoke night. Gwaine had already had the entire place singing along to Summer of ‘69 and now Leon was up there belting out Sweet Caroline.

“God, I hate karaoke.” Arthur said, slamming his head down on the table. He was forced to go to choir when he was very young, and he made a vow never to sing again after that.

“Karaoke is fun, stop being such a Grinch!” Merlin laughed, elbowing him in the side. They were sat in their usual booth at the back of the room, so that they were partially secluded from everyone else. The damn koala had its own seat, it was so big.

“I bet we could get you up there, Arthur.” Percy challenged, and Arthur just shook his head.

“Nope, you can’t. Trust me, all those who have tried before you have failed.”

“He’s right,” interrupted Leon, “He won’t go up. We’ve tried everything.”

“You haven’t tried me.” came Merlin’s voice again, lower this time; and Arthur just raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.

“Don’t get too cocky, _Mer_ lin. There’s no chance.” Arthur replied with a grin; and before Arthur knew it, Merlin was over at the DJ desk.

“Oooo, he’s got you now, Pendragon!” Elyan teased, and just as Arthur was about to retaliate, the opening to Come On Eileen began to sound through the room.

He _wouldn’t._

“All right everyone, firstly, I want my friends up here, come on!” Merlin cheered into the microphone, and sure enough, the lads deserted him and took another 2 microphones between them.

“We’re gonna get Arthur Pendragon on his feet tonight, ladies and gentlemen!”

Merlin’s words were met with cheering before he began to sing, and Arthur _knew_ Merlin was a good singer, he always had been. Merlin was also good at an array of other things, including driving Arthur absolutely crazy.

At the start of the song, they all stayed near the DJ and sang together, Merlin singing lead and the lads chanting the rest. He stood on stage, his eyes never leaving Arthur as he wriggled his hips and bit at his lip and _fuck_ if it didn’t turn Arthur on.

Then sure enough, the second chorus came around and Arthur found himself surrounded.

“Come on Eileen, oh I swear,”

Merlin had hold of his hand, but he didn’t pull. Arthur knew he wouldn’t force him, and so he stood; but he wasn’t going to sing, absolutely not. Then, just as it had happened back at home, Merlin began to push up against Arthur, swirling around him and brushing his arms, his shoulders, his _neck;_ and when his lips ghosted above the skin of Arthur’s ear, he felt a shiver travel right down his spine and around to his dick.

The music paused, and then the entire room began to chant.

“Come on, Eileen, taloo rye-ay-Come on, Eileen, taloo rye-ay,”

Merlin looked Arthur dead in the eyes as he sang.

“Now you’re full-grown, now you have shown. Oh, Eileen,” and mesmerised by the man in front of him, Arthur found himself walking with Merlin slowly towards the stage, then faster as the song increased in tempo.

“Now I must say more than ever!”

At some point, Merlin’s hand found his hip and he thrusted himself flush against Arthur. The DJ then paused the music; and Merlin leaned in close and whispered away from the mic; “Sing, Arthur. For me?” then Merlin gently nibbled his earlobe and Arthur grabbed the microphone.

“Come on Eileen!” Arthur was singing, and it took him three whole lines to realise what Merlin had done, and as angry as he wanted to be; he was having too much fun. So much so, that when the song ended, he was a little disappointed.

“Okay ladies and gents, one more sing-a-long and then we’ll move onto some good old dancey tunes! Who do we want up next?” the DJ asked, and just as Arthur and Merlin headed back towards their seat, someone called their names.

“Merlin and Arthur again!”

Merlin looked elated, and Arthur just shook his head and laughed. This man would be the death of him.

 

* * *

 

“I really can’t stay-”

“Baby don’t hold out, I bet it’s cold outside!”

It was a miracle that Arthur had gotten through the song in one piece. Merlin, the idiot, asked if they could sing Baby it’s Cold Outside, and though Arthur didn’t mind the song, he had a slight problem with Merlin grinding against him while they were singing it.

No one had really been watching them, well-no one other than Leon, but Arthur didn’t want to address that. But even then, Arthur was horrified at first; but now he was just a quivering pile of want, and what he wanted was Merlin- on him, in him, around him? He didn’t care.

He turned his back to the audience and subtly adjusted himself before Merlin took his hand.

“Are you not coming to dance?!” shouted Elyan over the now incredibly loud dance music.

“Nah, we’ll join you shortly!” Merlin called back and Elyan gave them a thumbs-up.

Instead of sitting in the seat facing the room, Merlin slid into the seat opposite, next to that sodding koala, their backs to the crowd.

Arthur didn’t even have time to think before Merlin was mouthing at his neck and palming his own crotch. “God, Arthur,” he whimpered into Arthur’s neck, and though Arthur was confused about why Merlin was so turned on, he wasn’t going to protest.

He replaced Merlin’s hand with his own and stroked that generously sized length through Merlin’s jeans; and then things got real. Arthur remembered where he was and who he was with, and he gasped when Merlin threw a leg over him and straddled his lap; pulling at the neck of his shirt and biting at his collarbone.

“Merlin!” Arthur panicked, and then Merlin swung around and knocked something on the floor.

“Oh shit,” Merlin mumbled before he pulled himself away and Arthur pressed his eyes shut. He tried to focus on anything other than Merlin, but he couldn’t ignore his arousal; especially not when he felt his zipper being undone.

His eyes shot open but when he turned to address Merlin, he was left facing an empty space. Where di-

“ _Merlin!_ ” Arthur gasped, his eyes dipping to the table and as his member sprung free and hot, plump lips pushed down over his dick. Surely, Merlin wasn’t going to do this here. Not while they were in a room of about ninety people!

Although Arthur didn’t hear it, he felt Merlin’s moan around his length as it vibrated through him, sending a wave of pleasure through his body. Arthur didn’t dare move for fear of giving himself away, but he lowered a hand below the table and found Merlin’s hair which he wound his fingers through.

Merlin was sucking his cock. In public. With their friends.

Arthur didn't know what was more hot, the risk of it all, or the fact that he couldn't see what Merlin was doing. So when his boxers and jeans were shifted down a little more, deft fingers found his balls and nestled them, massaged them. Arthur propped his elbow on the table and let his eyes fall closed again. He could feel Merlin's tongue tracing up his shaft and over his slit, and Merlin nibbled at his foreskin, nipping just hard enough to make Arthur throb inside of his mouth.

Merlin was taking his time, and Arthur was growing impatient. He roughly grabbed a handful of Merlin's hair and pushed his head, eliciting a ‘Mm, fuck’ from under the table. After that, Merlin picked up whatever pace Arthur asked for and Arthur had to admit that he liked being the one in charge of the situation.

His hand drifted to Merlin's cheek, and he rubbed his thumb over the edge of Merlin's mouth where it was pulled tight and wet around him. This didn't feel like their other encounters. Yes, it was public and yes, it was daring; but Arthur almost wanted to say it felt like more.

“Where's Merlin gone?” Arthur's eyes shot open when Gwaine appeared next to him, and he stared, mortified for a second before Merlin nipped his leg under the table and his lips pulled off Arthur's dick.

“Oh! Er-was he not with you lot? He said he wanted to dance.” Gwaine looked at him skeptically and Arthur felt for a second that he was onto them. “He must have nipped to the loo.” Arthur added, before he felt that heat surrounding himself once more, sinking so low that Merlin's breath was muffled by Arthur's groin.

It took every inch of his will not to thrust forward into that pretty mouth, or to gasp in awe at what this man was capable of doing with his tongue. Instead, he looked at Gwaine who just nodded and slid into the booth opposite them. Arthur gulped.

“So, how are things between you both?” Gwaine asked and a part of Arthur’s soul left his body in shame. Gwaine wanted to _talk._

“It’s going really well, thanks.” Arthur replied, not thinking about the way he felt Merlin smirk around his dripping cock.

“Look, Percy said you got a little bit weird before. He didn’t want to tell me you were irritated but you know what he’s like- can’t bare any tension between the lads.”

“Yeah,” Arthur laughed weakly, not really paying any attention to what Gwaine was saying; but instead, he was trying not to move his hand too much as he stroked Merlin’s hair.

“So, I figured you best hear this from me,” Arthur lifted his head and met Gwaine’s eye when he heard the sincere tone in Gwaine’s voice. “I was gutted at the time that Merlin didn’t want more, but I am really not upset about this. I’m not going to try and steal him off you,” Arthur felt Merlin smirk again and he gently whacked him in the side of the head. “And I really am happy that you’re together. He actually seems genuinely happy, and so do you.”

Arthur nodded and smiled, trying his hardest to be responsive and engage in Gwaine’s conversation. “Thanks, Gwaine. I’m glad you’ve told me.”

“Good, so you aren’t going to get jealous anymore if I’m a little flirty? You know that’s just how I am.” Arthur smiled then and thought about how, in perspective, it was Arthur who was currently getting sucked off and not Gwaine.

“No, take my word for it; I don’t think I have a single thing to worry about.” He joked, smugly, and then when Merlin’s actions sped up, Arthur had to grasp the edge of the table.

“You alright, mate?” Gwaine asked with a meek snicker, and Arthur just nodded and smiled back. “Good, I’m going to try and pull myself a shag, then.” Gwaine chided and Arthur shook his head and exhaled. Gwaine hadn’t noticed.

But then, as Gwaine went to slide out of the booth, his foot caught on something under the table. “What the hell is-”

“No, don’t!” Arthur yelled, waving his free hand like an idiot to stop Gwaine from looking, and then Gwaine’s eyes widened in realisation when Merlin lapped at Arthur’s balls, eliciting a whimper from him.

“He _isn’t!_ ” Gwaine gasped, a shit-eating grin spreading over his face.

“Shut-up, Gwaine, or I swear to Christ you won’t make it ‘til Christmas!” Arthur hissed, and Gwaine just leaned forward and patted Arthur on the back.

“I never had you down as a bit of an Exhibitionist, Pendragon. I’m impressed.” Gwaine whispered, and Arthur just shut his eyes and willed himself not to punch something. “I guess I’ll see you when you’re _finished._ ”

Merlin actually laughed around Arthur’s erection and Arthur whacked him playfully again, giggling a little himself.

“See you later, Merls.” Gwaine added with a wink in Arthur’s direction, and Merlin’s hand briefly stuck out of the side of the table to wave.

Gwaine had barely made it back to the makeshift dance-floor before Arthur came down Merlin’s throat, his heart racing with exhilaration while he moaned Merlin’s name, not caring who heard; and when Merlin clambered back into the seat, dick already out Arthur leant down and took it all the way into his own mouth.

“ _Fuck,_ Arthur, I’m not going to last!” Merlin cried and Arthur sucked hard and fast, sliding his hand under Merlin’s pert little arse and squeezing hard.

He loved the taste of Merlin, and the feel of his seed in his mouth and on his skin. He loved the obscene pop when he pulled off Merlin’s gorgeous cock; and he absolutely _adored_ the way Merlin looked at him with dark eyes when Arthur licked his own fingers clean.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur was already awake when his alarm sounded on the morning of the 22nd. It was rare that he worked a Saturday, but it would be his final shift before Christmas; and it was only a short one. He should have been relieved, really, that he would be finishing early but he couldn’t seem to budge the awful feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He had woken up at 2 am to grab a drink. As he had paced passed Merlin’s door in his tired state and decided to pause to listen to the quiet snoring, he was greeted by silence. Merlin had slept at Hunith’s last night, just as he had the night before, and the night before that too.

With Merlin in his house, the place seemed louder. Not in an irritating way; but more as a sort of comforting background noise that Arthur had grown accustomed to. Arthur usually went to bed before Merlin, and he would hear the TV, or Merlin on the phone, or Christmas songs that he had promised not to listen to, so Arthur pretended he didn’t hear.

It hurt a little to know that Merlin was actively choosing to stay away now; and when Arthur had grabbed his pint of water, he hadn’t returned to bed. Instead, he carried himself to the living room and threw himself on the sofa. He had thought about everything that had happened the day previous. About he and Merlin joking before leaving the house, and about Merlin’s confusing speech about Arthur coming out. About Merlin’s smile when Arthur won him the koala, and about the not-kiss in front of the camera that somehow still looked incredibly romantic in the little frame.

If things didn’t work out, Arthur would only have four more days left of this life. He had willed himself not to cry, and instead had planned out his day. He would hear word from Gwen about Merlin’s present, and he was to make a detour for a second present too. He had to find a way of making the most of this time without giving too much away. Merlin liked surprises, and Arthur wanted it all to be the best surprise he could give.

Eventually, his mind had drifted away from presents and dinners and being organised; and had instead honed in on that ache inside of himself. He had wanted to be optimistic; and he probably would have been if it weren’t for Leon. The only one that knew this whole thing was fake, and he had barely said anything about it. What worried Arthur, though, were the scrutinising looks Leon had given them whenever they were together, and the way Merlin still seemed to talk to Leon in private about a lot of things.

A long time ago, if Arthur hadn’t been such an idiot, it would have been him in Leon’s position. The three of them were the closest of friends before they’d even met Gwaine, Percy and Elyan, and they told each other everything. But, probably due to their attraction for one another, Arthur and Merlin were always that little bit closer. When he had looked back at it, Arthur had realised that he had jeopardised everything through his choices; and that the pain he had inflicted on Merlin was probably a lot worse than the selfish pain he had felt himself.

It had been 3.57am when Arthur had stumbled back up to his room for his duvet and phone; and when he had come back downstairs, the quiet and loneliness had been too much. Arthur had turned on Merlin’s Christmas playlist and flicked the switch that lit up the room in an array of warm white fairy lights.

If he eventually gave in and cried himself back to sleep, no one ever had to know; and now, at 6:37am, Arthur dragged himself up off the couch to the quiet crooning of Bing Crosby, and realised that maybe he didn’t mind Christmas songs so much after all.

 

* * *

 

“So everything has been given the go ahead. Dad was happy with what he saw and he's thrilled about the whole thing. I'll bring them over Christmas Day.” Gwen smiled and Arthur exhaled with relief. He didn't deserve how nice Gwen was to him, but now that she was with Lance he didn't feel so bad for everything she was doing for him.

When he had come out to his work friends, that little bit of distance between he and Gwen had disappeared, and now they were very close. He might not see her outside of work, but Arthur was thrilled to have her as a friend, and she proved very invaluable in terms of gift ideas. She had, however, also been a pain in the ass after asking about Merlin. Arthur warily showed her a picture of Merlin on his phone and Gwen harped on and on about how she thought Arthur's type would be the Khal Drogo looking sort, but how Merlin was adorable. When she had asked about their bedroom habits, Arthur carefully evaded the question.

But now, Gwen was doing him a huge favour, and he felt like he needed her to know he appreciated it.

“Thanks Gwen. You know, I never did apologise properly,” he couldn’t help but speak with shame.

“Arthur, you don’t-”

“Yes I do,” interrupted Arthur. “I used you. I was confused about who I was and I tried to deny a part of myself by shagging every female with a pulse. It was pathetic, and I knew you liked me and I didn’t stop. I really am sorry, Gwen. You’re a marvellous person and I like you so very much. Having a sexual identity crisis absolutely does not justify what I did.” Arthur teared up a little, and bowed his head. Without Merlin in his life, he had just sectioned off his emotions and pretended he hadn’t cared; but things were different now, and Merlin had changed him. More than he probably realised.

“Oh Arthur,” Gwen sighed as she wrapped her gentle arms around him. “It’s in the past; and now look at us! I have Lance and we are so happy, and you have Merlin. It’s worked out fantastically.”

All Arthur could do was smile and nod, even as he fought the sick feeling in his stomach. He didn’t have Merlin, and though he hoped he eventually would; things weren’t leaning in his favour.

“Anyway, Elyan tells me he will be with you lot on Christmas day for dinner. It’ll be so nice for you all to spend the day together! I’ll be with Dad on the morning, then after I’ve been to see you, Lance is coming over to spend the evening with us. It’ll be his first time meeting Dad properly, I’m so excited!”

Arthur had to appreciate this quality about Gwen. Even when you felt awful, Gwen’s happiness was contagious; and so Arthur smiled genuinely and asked about her and Lance’s relationship. He was incredibly happy for her, but that selfishness within him still felt a pang of envy that things weren’t like this with Merlin. He and Merlin never had a romantic first date, they never had a riverside first kiss; and they definitely hadn’t been thinking about baby names.

Gwen had obviously fell hard and fast, which was nice to see. She usually didn’t let her guard down so easy around men anymore (Arthur’s fault, of course), but Lance really must be very special. Gwen deserved someone who was.

After their chat, Gwen waved Arthur off and he headed home. For once, he didn’t let himself get caught up in his own turmoil of emotions, and instead he decided to think about how Christmas was at least going to go perfectly for some people. He had apologised for something that had been eating at him for too long, and he had a friend for life in Gwen, he could just tell.

So as he drove home, he smiled to himself and waved at familiar faces as he passed by. Merlin would be staying again tonight, and had already messaged Arthur requesting that they watch the Santa Clause. He thought of how good the night could be, and he made a last minute stop to pick up the second part of Merlin’s present.

He absolutely didn’t flick on the radio on the way home, and sing along to Stop the Cavalry and Little Drummer Boy - absolutely not.

 

* * *

 

Merlin had opened their advent calendar every day for the last week or so, and the items were tossed into the drawer in Arthur’s room. There was an impressive collection of butt-plugs, vibrators, lubes, beads; and the cock pump took pride of place on top of the unit in Merlin’s room because he hadn’t wanted to part with it.

Door number ‘23’ however, had been left unopened. Merlin had slept in, and so he rushed around the house like a madman before going to meet up with Leon for some Christmas shopping. Arthur had been invited but volunteered to stay home. Alone time with Leon was the last thing he wanted right now.

Through the natural business of Christmas, Merlin and Arthur had been too busy to engage much. There were some lazy hand jobs last night as they watched their movie, but other than what had happened at The Rising Sun, Arthur and Merlin had barely touched each other. A part of Arthur had wanted to spend as much time as possible with Merlin, because he didn’t know how things would be after, but a bigger part of him wanted to keep his distance. If none of this went to plan, then Arthur didn’t want to be left too broken.

He unwrapped the small box behind ‘23’ and staring back at him, were a box of ribbed and dotted condoms.

“HA!” Arthur yelled and he pushed his foot down on the pedal and tossed them straight in the bin. He had admonished the idea that he and Merlin would have sex at all. Arthur had tried to make advances and suggestions but Merlin would _not_ do it. Maybe it was because Arthur had never had sex with a bloke before, or maybe it was because Merlin didn’t like Arthur enough. Either way, it wasn’t going to happen.

Arthur went back to the hob where his homemade chilli was simmering away. Morgana, his sister, would arrive soon; and he knew it was her favourite thing to eat.

By the time he went upstairs, changed out of his loungewear and returned to the living room; Morgana was stood over the hob, her finger dipping secretively into the pan.

“Oi!” Arthur scolded and Morgana squeaked. “Did they not feed you in Russia?”

They stared at each other with fake coldness for a moment, before they simultaneously burst into a fit of giggles. “God, Arthur, I’ve seen children over there more threatening than you!” Morgana laughed before bouncing into his arms for a spine-crushing hug.

“I missed you.” he whispered, and Morgana nodded into his shoulder. Morgana did business for eight months of the year in Moscow. She was a force to be reckoned with to most who knew her, but to Arthur, she was his loving big sister. Though she picked up the odd trait from Uther (such as her absolute need for wealth), she had the heart of Ygraine, even if Ygraine wasn’t her birth Mother.

Arthur didn’t know too much about it. He knew his Dad must have cheated, and he knew Morgana’s Mum had passed giving birth. Morgana Pendragon was raised as his sister, and though she didn’t need to, Ygraine took her in as her own.

“I missed you too, Arthur.” she smiled, peeling herself from his arms and grasping his hands. “Russia is incredible, but it’ll never beat Camelot.”

Arthur plated up their chilli and as they ate, Morgana told him all about the architecture, the people, the music and the weather. She discussed her fleeting relationship with her ambassador's daughter; and how when he found out; he just seemed disappointed that Morgana hadn’t been into him instead.

Arthur flicked on his Christmas piano playlist, and they talked some more over a bowl of sticky toffee pudding and custard. They talked about Christmas day, and how they’d all be spending the day together. Arthur spoke of the lads and how he was horrified of putting his Dad in a room with Gwaine. He also mentioned Merlin’s Uncle Gaius coming over from France, and how Merlin had (much to Arthur’s distaste) invited Will to dinner.

“So you’re catering for twelve? You’re absolutely crackers.” Morgana mumbled as she sipped at her third glass of red wine.

“Yeah, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I’m just beginning to think it’ll turn to chaos.” Arthur knew that it would be hard to keep up the facade on Christmas Day, especially around so many people. Leon obviously knew about the whole thing, but both Ygraine and Morgana were incredible at reading Arthur; just as Will and Hunith were able to do the same with Merlin.

They’d have to be extra convincing, but Arthur just didn’t know how.

“Oh for goodness sake, Arthur.” Morgana hissed, and Arthur snapped out of his reverie with confusion.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, but Morgana just slammed her empty glass back down on the oversized table and raised her eyebrows at him.

“Why don’t you tell me? Do you think I’m blind enough to not know what is going on? _Please._ I can smell a big stinking lie from a mile away; I wouldn’t have a job if I couldn’t.”

_Fuck._

“I don’t know what you mean.” Arthur droned, hoping and praying that she would let it go.

“You know exactly what I mean.” she whispered a little more gently now; and placing a hand atop his, she looked at him with searching eyes. “Arthur, I have been here for an hour maybe, and I can already tell you two aren’t together. Your clothes are in separate piles, there aren’t any pictures of the two of you, there are literally no signs that you are in a relationship. And it’s because you aren’t, isn’t it?”

Arthur looked down at their hands, and didn’t even have the dignity to reply.

“Oh God, look at you,” she muttered softly. “Arthur, how on earth did this happen? Actually-no, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know. What I want to know is why the hell you thought this was a good idea. Do you really care about yourself that little, that you’d be willing to put yourself through that pain?”

Arthur looked up at this, surprised that Morgana could read the situation that easily.

“Don’t look surprised, Arthur. It may not be clear to everyone else, but you never stopped liking Merlin. That’s the reason you cast him away, because you couldn’t bare to be around him for fear that you’d do something stupid. That’s why you’ve never tried to have a relationship. To be honest, I’m not even convinced you shagged around to try and cover up being gay; I think it was more to try and get over him.

“They may not realise it, Arthur, hell-Merlin probably doesn’t even realise it, but you’ve realised what you were missing. You’re going to kill yourself with grief and it’ll be just like the last time; except it won’t be you rejecting him. Arthur you need to stop this. You need to talk to him and stop it, otherwise you’ll end up hurting yourself more than you think and I’m not prepared to stand by and watch that happen.”

Arthur hadn’t dared utter a word through Morgana’s speech, and now that she was finished; he felt as though someone had twisted the sword already embedded in his heart. He had fucked it all up, hadn’t he?

“I didn’t think this would happen.” he whispered, and it was all he could manage.

“You don’t usually think at all, Arthur. That’s what the problem is.”

Just then, the front door opened, and Arthur heard Merlin and Leon laughing together in the hallway.

“Call it off.” Morgana smiled sadly and rubbed her free hand across his cheek. “We don’t want to watch you hurt again, Arthur.”

“Morgana!” came Merlin’s excited voice from the doorway. “Ooooh it’s finally starting to feel like Christmas now! Uncle Gaius got here this morning! Oh, it’s so nice to see you after so long!” Merlin skipped over and pulled Morgana into a loving embrace when she stood from her chair. He then walked around her with a “Hi, Arthur” and kissed him gently on the cheek.

“Don’t bother, Merlin, she knows.” Arthur said, and Merlin looked between the two of them.

“Oh, well er; I guess don’t tell anyone?” Merlin half-asked Morgana and she shook her head with a laugh.

“I won’t it’s not my place. I take it Leon knows too then, considering he’s here?”

“It was my idea, actually,” Leon replied coldly. The two of them got on for Arthur’s sake since they had split a few years back; but they were generally very tense with each other.

“That explains a lot.” sneered Morgana, before pulling Arthur in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll see you Christmas day, okay? Remember what I said Arthur.” she squeezed his hands before pulling him in for another cuddle.

“See you then,” was all he could say in response; and he couldn’t even bare to be around Merlin after she had left. Instead, he locked himself in his room and lay face down in his bed; urging the mattress to swallow him up.

Morgana was right, it was going to go tits up. The whole thing was stupid and ridiculous; and now he would have to deal with his heartbreak all over again. Only this time, it would be worse knowing that he hadn’t learned from his mistakes.

 

* * *

 

“Arthur?” Merlin’s voice and the repeated knocking on the door roused Arthur from his sleep. “Arthur, are you awake?”

“I am now.” Arthur grunted as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. Merlin pushed the door open, letting the light from the landing fill up the room. It was pretty dark, and judging by the fact that Arthur couldn’t hear any TV or music in the background, it was pretty late. Merlin paused a little awkwardly in the centre of the room and fidgeted with his fingers.

“Are you alright? You’ve been in here all day.”

And there it was. Every time Arthur told himself that this was never going to work and that he was flogging a dead horse, Merlin would do something small that made Arthur think that Merlin actually cared.

“I just don’t feel great,” Arthur lied, “I’ll get up for a drink soon, but I’ll probably just come back to bed after. What time is it?”

“It’s just after half one,” Merlin stated, before adding quietly; “So, happy Christmas eve, I guess.

Christmas Eve-this would be their final full day as a not-couple. Arthur nodded with a dry smile. “Yeah, I guess.” he replied, trying his best not to let the disappointment and heartache sound through his speech.

“Well, I’ll be downstairs.” Merlin said before turning his back on Arthur.

“Merlin, why aren’t you in bed yet?” Arthur asked, and Merlin paused without turning back around to face Arthur.

“Because I was worried.”

When Arthur didn’t reply, Merlin took his leave. Arthur then sighed, pulled on a pair of lounge pants and made his way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

Only, Merlin was already stood in the kitchen, two cups in hand.

“Tea makes everything better, right?” Merlin asked, and taking the cup from his hands, Arthur nodded.

“Thanks Merlin. You’re having some too? You don’t usually drink tea so late.”

“No, but like I said; tea makes everything better.” Arthur met Merlin’s eyes and noticed that there was a certain emptiness about them. Now that he looked at Merlin closely, he noticed that his eyes were sunken and that he actually appeared to be thinner. When had he last seen Merlin eat?

“Is it something you want to talk about?” asked Arthur; not wanting to push too hard and scare Merlin off

“Nah, it’s complicated anyway.” Merlin mumbled into his cup.

“Well, I slept for a while so I have all night.” Arthur replied with a little smile, and Merlin smiled back; but it wasn’t genuine.

“No, Arthur. Not tonight, I’m tired. I’ll drink this and head to bed; I just wanted to be sure you were okay.”

Arthur looked at Merlin, searching for an answer in his distant eyes, but there was nothing to be seen. “Okay.” he said softly, and they both stood in the kitchen making small talk over Christmas presents and what had to be done in the morning, before Merlin finished his tea and headed to bed.

Arthur found himself chewing over what was wrong. Had something happened with Will or Leon? Was Merlin’s family okay? Was there something else? He poured the now-cold remains of his tea down the sink, washed his and Merlin’s cups and headed back to bed.

 

* * *

 

“Right, Arthur!” Merlin said as he hauled a big bag of presents into their living room, dropping it in front of the Christmas tree.

“Yes?” replied Arthur, exasperated. He had volunteered to help Merlin wrap presents which was potentially one of the biggest and most embarrassing mistakes he has made so far this month. Honestly, he never knew Merlin could have been so patronising.

_‘Arthur, how are you folding that? No, you don’t-it'll end up creased! NO! Don’t stick the sellotape there, what kind of monster are you?!’_

And of course, when Arthur had attached a ribbon and bow to Hunith’s present, Merlin actually had a full blown, close-to-tears meltdown.

_‘Arthur, you can’t put a pink ribbon and bow on top of rose-gold wrapping paper! Do you realise how horrible that looks?! You should have used the white one that I PURPOSEFULLY put next to you! I don’t understand how this is so hard for you! I thought you were intelligent, Chris- NO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!’_

_‘Merlin, you just told me it doesn’t look right! So naturally, taking it back off seemed like the only-’_

_‘NO! You’ve left marks on the wrapping paper now where you’ve pulled the tape off! You’ll have to wrap it from scratch again! I specifically wanted Mum’s wrapping in rose gold and now I can’t because you used it all already! Can’t you do anything?’_

Arthur had ended up braving the crowds in Camelot shopping centre just to buy more rose gold wrapping paper. He’d thought about buying Merlin some kalms but that probably wouldn’t have ended well. He did, however, after taking a not-so-subtle hint from Hunith, buy Merlin a little Christmas Eve gift and he lingered a little longer in the shopping centre.

Now, Merlin seemed to be acting like none of it had happened at all. “Tonight, we are watching Scrooge. It is Christmas Eve tradition so I won’t have you arguing about it and-”

“Okay then.” Arthur replied, but Merlin just continued.

“And I know it’s a musical but you’ll just have to deal with… hang on, what?”

Arthur laughed. “I said okay. I just want an easy night, Merlin. We’ll be busy tomorrow, and I’m happy to watch Scrooge if that will keep _you_ happy.” Arthur was _not_ going to put himself through anymore of Merlin’s diva attitude today.

“But you hate musicals, Arthur.” Merlin smirked, and Arthur just shrugged.

“I hate Christmas songs, Christmas lights, Christmas films… I’m just not a fan of Christmas as a whole; but we’ve done pretty well so far right? So one more film won’t hurt.”

Merlin’s small grin turned into a wide, piercing smile and he leapt onto the sofa to smother Arthur with an amazing hug; and if Arthur buried his nose in Merlin’s hair and inhaled that beautiful smell, no one had to know anything about it.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, Arthur, isn’t he just like you?! _I hate people! I abhor them! When I see the indolent classes sitting on their indolent arses-”_

“Will you be singing every song in this film, then?” Arthur asked with a laugh and Merlin just nodded his head. “You know, there’s only one-”

Merlin interrupted Arthur by holding up his hand and then he paused the film. “Arthur, if you’re going to talk, get it all out now otherwise I will end up tearing my hair out.”

Arthur snickered at the attitude, eliciting a little smirk from Merlin. “I _was_ going to say that there was only one thing missing about this whole christmas movie setting.”

Merlin looked between them, then at the table there they had a spread of cheese, fruit, chocolates and snacks. “I’m not sure I know what you mean…” he replied, looking around the room now as though he was missing something obvious.

Arthur used the opportunity to slide his hand under the sofa to the present he had took so much care wrapping while Merlin was in the bath. It was wrapped in silver paper that had little white reindeer on it, and Arthur had chosen white ribbon and a silver bow with little white fleckles.

Hunith had mentioned that this used to be part of Merlin's tradition when they lived together, and Arthur couldn't resist getting this one little extra thing if it meant he got to see Merlin's smile.

“Here,” Arthur tapped Merlin on the arm with the gift and Merlin looked back to him, then to the present. “Well, open it then!” Arthur giggled, impatient.

A shy smile crept across Merlin's face and he took the gift and carefully unwrapped it. “I have to admit, you've done a much better job at wrapping this one than you did with… Oh my God!”

Arthur couldn’t help but blush when Merlin's jaw fell open. He thanked the heavens for the pop-up store he’d bought it from as he watched Merlin unfold the limited Christmas edition Doctor Who onesie. It was a festive shade of red with a repeating pattern of tardises and sonic screwdrivers. He'd even managed to get it personalised with Merlin's name at a little store before he took it home to wrap it.

“I can't believe it.” Merlin whispered and Arthur bit his lip as he watched Merlin's eyes glisten with moisture. “Arthur, it's been five years… how did you know?”

“Hunith is particularly good at dropping hints.” Arthur mumbled shyly.

“She always used to get me Doctor Who pyjamas, but this… this is limited edition!” Merlin gently rolled his thumb over where his name was embroidered over the breast in silver. “Arthur this was incredibly kind of you, you really didn’t have to.” Arthur thought he detected a hint of sadness in Merlin’s voice, so he took a deep breath and allowed his hand to settle on top of Merlin’s.

“I know I didn’t _have_ to, but I wanted to. You don’t realise, Merlin, how much I disliked Christmas. Every year was the same. I’d be on my own; I’d shag someone a few days before Christmas, but when they’d try to linger in the morning I’d make excuses for them to leave. Then I’d spend Christmas day with Mum and Dad; and Dad would always end up going to his office straight after the meal. I was always so jealous of the Christmases you had growing up that-”

“The Christmases _we_ had, you mean?” interrupted Merlin. “Arthur, before I left you used to spend almost all day Christmas Eve with me, and Mum always invited you to watch Scrooge with us but you never came. Hell, Mum would have probably adopted you if you’d asked!”

“I didn’t want to intrude though. Anyway, I hated the way I’d spend Christmas doing the same things every year. It seemed like a waste of time; but this year… I don’t know, Merlin. You’ve made it that little bit different.”

Merlin pulled a serious face, looked Arthur dead in the eye and whispered; “It was the blowjobs.” He then burst out laughing, and Arthur did too.

“ _Mer_ lin, I’m trying to be serious! Blow jobs aside, I’ve done things this year that I normally wouldn’t, and even though I still hate Mariah Carey and Michael Buble, I’ve enjoyed this Christmas. I guess that’s your doing.” Arthur smiled up at Merlin, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as Merlin turned his hand around and grasped Arthur’s, squeezing it lightly.

Arthur wanted to kiss him so much. It was times like this, when everything just felt so very right. He could feel the magnetic pull between them, but found himself frozen in place.

“I’m glad I could help, and you are more than happy to spend Christmas Eve with me and Mum next year too. I’m sure she won’t mind having you over.” Merlin removed his hand from Arthur and grabbed the remote, and just like that the moment was gone.

Merlin had no intention of staying here, which meant he had no intention of staying with Arthur.

But as Merlin pressed play on the remote, he did something Arthur hadn’t seen coming. He turned around, and pushed Arthur’s legs open, where they were bent on the sofa in front of him. Naturally, Arthur’s dick twitched in response, but Merlin only shuffled around, sat between Arthur’s legs, and lay himself back so he was rested with his back against Arthur’s front.

“Arthur?” he asked, and Arthur gave a little ‘mhmm?’. He didn’t want to give away how happy having Merlin like this made him feel. “We can pretend, just for tonight.” Merlin murmured, not turning his head to make eye contact. What did Merlin mean? Pretend _what_ exactly? It hadn’t been a question, it was a statement.

Arthur was about to ask, but when Merlin’s hand found Arthur’s and pulled it around his front, entwining their fingers, Arthur realised exactly what he meant. He had been too obvious with the gift, and Merlin had finally realised that Arthur felt for him.

Arthur knew he should protest. Merlin was willing to pretend this was real for Arthur’s sake, just for the night. This would kill Arthur tomorrow, and day after, and long after that too, but he needed it. He _craved_ it.

“Yeah.” Arthur breathed, pulling Merlin closer, and wrapping his other arm around Merlin’s stomach.

Arthur hadn’t wanted to admit it, but for years he had known. While Merlin had been gone, a part of him had always ached for his return. When he and Merlin bickered, Arthur never had the heart to be truly angry. When Merlin touched him, his skin came to life like heat and electricity; and now, and only now would Arthur ever allow himself to admit it to himself.

As Merlin watched Scrooge in his arms and sang along, with tear-filled eyes, to Happiness; Arthur looked down at him, and soaked in the content look on his face. His messy black hair as contrasting as ever to his pale skin and his stormy blue eyes. His lip changing from pale pink to red as he bit at it, and his hand still clutched tightly to Arthurs.

He loved him.

He loved him now, just as he had always done; and it was killing him.

But right now, the feeling of having Merlin like this outweighed the need to protect his feelings; and so he sat for the whole movie listening to Merlin sing and cry and cheer; and when the movie finished, they stayed where they were, silent for a little while until Merlin spoke. “We didn’t open door number 24.” he muttered.

“You’re right, we didn’t.” replied Arthur.

“It’s the final door… the end of an era,” Merlin said with a dry, unconvincing laugh; and Arthur couldn’t even fake happiness at this point.

“Do you want to open it?” Arthur asked, and Merlin looked up at him from where his head was resting on Arthur’s chest.

“Open it together?” Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded in agreement.

They walked, still hand in hand, through to the kitchen, where Merlin pulled open the door and Arthur took out a little pouch.

He eyed Merlin warily, and Merlin gave him a little smile before letting go of his hand. Then, when Arthur carefully untied the string and pulled open the pouch, he froze with his eyes on Merlin.

There was no way.

“What is it?” Merlin asked, and he snatched the bag from Arthur’s hand before Arthur had the chance to pull away. Arthur gulped as Merlin glanced into the bag and his eyes widened in what was presumably horror.

They stayed that way for a moment, before Merlin placed the pouch down on the breakfast bar beside him.

“Was that… Was it?” Arthur couldn’t even bring himself to say the word but Merlin nodded without looking back at him.

“Mistletoe.” Merlin whispered so quietly that Arthur had only just heard it. He wished he had never let Merlin see it. He wished he could go back to a few minutes ago and say he didn’t want to open the calendar. He wished that Merlin could see that he didn’t have to do this, that Arthur obviously didn’t expect it. He had to tell him.

“Merlin?” Arthur breathed, and when Merlin looked up at him through his thick glasses, Arthur forgot his words.

There was a sharp intake of breath, from who he didn’t know, and before Arthur could even realise what was happening, Merlin’s hands were on his face and he was kissing him. It wasn’t an awkward kiss or a desperate kiss. It was slow, wary, and it was absolutely everything.

Arthur exhaled through his nose as he parted his lips, gently allowing his tongue to creep forward and seek permission, which was only too willingly given.

They were kissing, and it wasn’t wrong, and for Arthur it wasn’t pretending. The kisses they had shared previously had been a bit of a fight for dominance; but Arthur felt Merlin relax in his arms. Arthur allowed his shoulders to settle, and he gently pushed Merlin back against the breakfast bar, where he lifted him onto the stool without their lips parting.

This wasn’t about sexual pleasure for Arthur, this was about getting what he wanted, even if only for one night.

They stayed that way for while, kissing thoroughly and passionately, and Arthur would’ve stayed there forever if Merlin hadn’t pulled away. “Arthur?” he asked, his breath ghosting against Arthur’s lips as his broken voice broke free. “I know we’re pretending… but would you be prepared to do more? You can say no if you don’t want to.”

Arthur’s brain shouted from somewhere deep inside his head, and begged him not to do it. Merlin obviously wanted a shag, and as much as it would hurt Arthur later, he couldn’t turn it down. Passing up the opportunity to be intimate with the man he loved would be a mistake.

Rather than answering Merlin, Arthur just took Merlin’s hand and led him to the stairs. It took them at least ten minutes to get to Arthur’s room between kisses; and when Arthur led Merlin to his bed, they took great care in undressing one another. Arthur’s t-shirt was peeled from his body as Merlin kissed every inch of his torso, and when Arthur pulled off Merlin’s pyjama bottoms, he kissed his way up the inside of Merlin’s leg before nosing at Merlin’s crotch.

Neither of them spoke a word as they kissed each other, touched each other and enjoyed each other; and when the moment finally arrived where they were breathless and slick with sweat, Merlin looked up at Arthur from the mattress. “Are you sure you want to?” Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded.

He pulled open the draw of calendar gifts and fished out one of the larger, curved butt plugs. “Will you wear this?” Arthur asked shyly. Merlin looked at him curiously before the penny dropped and his eyes widened.

“Arthur, you haven’t done this before, are you sure you’re ready?” Merlin asked, and what Arthur wouldn’t tell Merlin was that he was the only person he would _ever_ want this from.

“Yeah.” Arthur whispered as his slicked fingers traced back to Merlin’s entrance and pushed in once more, swirling and scissoring, before he pushed in the plug. Merlin shivered and whimpered, and Arthur then led his fingers back to his own dick, pumping it a couple of times before kissing Merlin once more.

“Condoms?” Merlin breathed, and Arthur shook his head.

“Don’t have any.” He mumbled, kissing Merlin again and trying not to think too much about the box he’d thrown in the bin. “Haven’t needed any in a long time.”

“Well, I’m totally clean Arthur, I got ch-”

“I don’t care, Merlin, just fuck me please.” Arthur growled, and Merlin nodded, sitting up so his back was against Arthur’s headrest. He leaned back on his own bent legs, and Arthur straddled his thighs, positioning himself over Merlin’s generous dick. Merlin kissed him through the sting, and Arthur bit Merlin’s lip when he let himself sink all the way down onto Merlin’s lap.

They had sex slow, hot and in each other’s arms; with Arthur coming first in ribbons between them; and Merlin following suit soon after, whispering Arthur’s name as he dropped his forehead to Arthur’s chest.

When they peeled themselves apart from each other, Arthur sat next to Merlin and rested his head on Merlin’s shoulder. He swallowed and in his post-orgasmic state, he found some courage that he didn’t know he’d had.

“Stay?” he asked, and though his heart broke a little, he smiled when Merlin nodded.

Merlin set a couple of alarms on his phone, and then when he settled back in the bed facing Arthur, he smiled.

“Merry Christmas, Arthur.” he whispered, and Arthur grinned back as he slotted his leg between Merlin’s and wrapped his arm around him.

“Merry Christmas, Merlin.”

And in the early hours of Christmas morning, Arthur Pendragon kissed the man he loved with all of his heart, and he kissed him and kissed him; until they both fell asleep, their bodies wrapped around each other while Arthur’s heart broke a little inside of him.


	9. Chapter 9

When Arthur drifted into consciousness, he could feel the cold breeze from the open window brush over his skin and he could sense the light trying to break through his eyelids. He felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards as warm breath ghosted against his cheek and neck, and the feeling of waking up in his lover’s arms was everything he had ever dreamt it would be.

He didn’t think, he just inched his head down slightly with his eyes still closed, following the source of the gentle breathing. He continued until he met those warm, plump lips with his own; brushing gently until Merlin’s lips reacted in kind.

Arthur opened his eyes, and a second later Merlin did the same.

It was everything Arthur wanted and needed, and it was everything he couldn’t have. Every part of him begged himself not to push too far again, but Merlin was pressed against him; their bodies moulded as though this is what they were made for, and when Merlin’s eyebrows drew together in slight concern, Arthur inhaled sharply.

“You’re thinking too loud” Merlin whispered, his voice a low croak, and Arthur tried not to let that go to his dick.

“Sorry,” Arthur whispered. It was no secret anymore that Arthur liked Merlin; and it was no secret anymore that Merlin just wanted a bit of action.

“I know you’re worried, but don’t think about it.” Merlin spoke again, this time a little less surely. “Just do it, I don’t mind.” he added, his voice tight, and then he closed his eyes.

Arthur honestly felt like this was bothering Merlin, but why would he agree to it if he didn’t mind? Arthur wanted this more than anything, it would be the perfect morning to end the perfect night; but there were too many buts.

In the end though, Arthur didn’t need to decide, because it was Merlin’s lips that found his again. Arthur kissed back lazily, sloppily and slowly. He took the time to memorise every inch of Merlin’s wondrous mouth whilst their bodies rubbed together under the duvet. Hands began to grab and scratch and pull and Arthur couldn’t help but notice that Merlin was a lot more vocal. He continuously sighed and hissed and moaned, and Arthur found that he too became more vocal, and more turned on in response.

When Merlin sucked Arthur’s fingers, and led them between his legs; Arthur knew exactly what he wanted. He rolled Merlin onto his stomach and kissed patterns down the back of his neck; running his tongue down each vertebrae of Merlin’s spine.

He wanted to absorb every detail so that this memory would never leave him, and so he closed his eyes and relished in the slightly salty taste of Merlin’s skin, and the way he could feel those ribs as he stroked his fingers down the sides of Merlin’s torso

He continued down his path, his fingers grasping Merlin’s pert little arse, and here, he spread Merlin’s cheeks and swiped his tongue quickly across Merlin’s entrance. Merlin buried his head in his own bicep and gave a muffled whimper.

There was a time when Arthur would never have done this. The thought of the act made him unsettled; but with Merlin, nothing could be wrong. He nosed closer to Merlin’s hole once more, and gave a more firm lick. Merlin’s sharp intake of breath and the tensing of his thighs made Arthur’s stomach flip. He would take his time with this.

First, he placed softer, gentler presses of his tongue around Merlin’s clenched taint; before eventually swirling his tongue in heavy circles, reducing Merlin to quivering incoherence beneath him.

He was making love to Merlin’s arse, squeezing it and kissing it; and when he slipped a spit-slicked finger inside and stilled it there; Merlin cried into his arm again. “Fucking hell, Merlin.” Arthur whispered against Merlin’s puffed up and shining entrance, and then, hand clawed into the skin of Merlin’s arse, he pulled those cheeks apart and thrusted his face so far in that he needn’t have any air. Merlin yowled as Arthur thrust his finger out and replaced it with his tongue; switching between the two while Merlin squirmed beneath him.

“A-Arthur! St-stopasecond!” Merlin yelled, and Arthur pulled his face back; hot and wet as a result of his filthy actions. “D-d’you remember when we, when we found those videos on-online?” Merlin panted, and Arthur’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Merlin?” he breathed, sweeping a fleeting lick over Merlin again.

“ _Ah-_ Yeah, in year ten and w-we found the videos of those two blokes. The porn videos, Arthur.”

Oh boy did Arthur remember. He’d watched plenty of porn before that day, but never gay porn. And when he and Merlin had somehow accidentally stumbled across those videos; they watched the entire lot on Merlin’s bed.

They hadn’t even hugged for an entire week after that; Arthur had thought he might have came just from looking at Merlin again.

“Mmm, what about them?” Arthur mumbled as he kissed Merlin’s cheeks, kneading them with his fingers.

“The last one; I want you to fuck me Arthur.”

Arthur tried to remember… surely Merlin didn’t want-

“I don’t w-want you to be gentle, I want you to _fuck_ me. No more foreplay, Arthur, I want...j-just do it.” Merlin groaned as he buried his head in his arm once more.

Arthur leaned in again; licking from Merlin’s balls, up across his hole where he lingered for a moment before nodding.

Without another word, Merlin lifted his rear end and positioned himself on his knees. If they were to do this like _that_ video, Arthur wouldn’t need any lube. He kneeled behind Merlin, letting his dick slide against Merlin’s spit-moistened crack. Then he leant forward, his hands wrapping around Merlin’s torso and carding through Merlin’s chest hair. He pulled Merlin up so that his back was flush against Arthur’s front.

This was something of a wet dream come to life, and Arthur didn’t hesitate before winding his arms around Merlin’s so that they were awkwardly stuck by Arthur’s sides. Arthur used his knee to position Merlin’s legs a little further open; and then he let the tip of his dick linger between Merlin’s cheeks for a second before pushing his forehead against Merlin’s hair. Merlin then exposed his neck, and Arthur breathed up and down it; and without any further hesitation; he bit down into the soft, warm flesh and thrust upwards hard and fast, tearing past rings of muscle and eliciting a sharp cry from Merlin.

The burn caused him to growl into Merlin’s shoulder; and then as soon as he quickly pulled out; he thrust back in harder than before. Merlin’s whole body lifted from the bed as they both cried at the intensity of it.

This was like nothing Arthur had ever imagined doing. He ploughed up into Merlin like an animal, biting at his shoulder and digging his fingers hard into Merlin’s hips whilst his arms held Merlin’s in place. How was it that his impossible man could fuck him and own him, then be reduced to this; a wanton, desperate and hot fuck?

Arthur’s dick was hot and throbbing inside of Merlin; and he knew he wasn’t going to last; and so as he jackhammered hard and fast, Merlin groaning and crying from the pleasure, he spat into his hand and reached around; angrily fisting at Merlin’s leaking cock.

Merlin actually _screamed_ Arthur’s name when he came, and Arthur, crazy with lust, forced Merlin back down into the bed and fucked him hard into the mattress until he reached orgasm; pulsing his seed into Merlin’s arse with an audible growl. Then bending Merlin’s leg upwards, Arthur managed to turn him onto his back without freeing his dick, and he grabbed Merlin’s face and placed the filthiest, dirtiest kiss on Merlin’s lips that he was capable of giving.

Then, when Arthur finally collapsed onto the bed, and gave Merlin one more kiss, gentler now, Merlin’s eyes shone with unshed tears as he pulled away from Arthur’s face, and sat up in the bed, not meeting his eyes again..

And Arthur knew then, that this wasn’t going to ever happen again. They were done.

 

* * *

 

“Arthur?!”

Since Merlin had gotten up to shower, Arthur had been sat in bed questioning his decisions. He wanted to believe that things were going to work out, but something was stirring inside of him, and leading him to believe that this really wasn’t what Merlin had wanted.

He wanted to regret doing what he had with Merlin, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He had gotten a glimpse of what it could be like to be happy and in love, and if Merlin could have that with someone in the future, then Arthur would be happy for him.

“ARTHUR!!” Arthur jumped a little at Merlin’s yelling and then hurried to the bathroom door.

“Yes, _Mer_ lin?” He had to pretend that this wasn’t tearing him apart, and the only way to do that would be to carry on as normal, and pretend he didn’t care too much.

“I forgot to bring my towel, would you bring one for me please? Hurry too, we’re already late with the dinner!”

Arthur sighed and made his way into Merlin’s room. _Yes_ , that was what he had to do. He had to just carry on. He wouldn’t pretend that they hadn’t kissed or shagged, but he would pretend as best as he could that he didn’t love Merlin. Well, actually, he’d have to pretend he didn’t love Merlin whilst also pretending he was actually in love with him. Either way, he’d just act like he did before they had started messing around, back when they were happy being friends and pretending to be together.

Arthur pulled the folded towel from Merlin’s drawer and carried it into the bathroom. He made a point of not looking as Merlin stepped out of the shower, and ever the gentleman, Arthur unfolded his towel for him and held it up.

“Whoops,” Arthur said as a little red envelope fell to the floor. He made to pick it up but Merlin got there first. “What’s this?” he asked and Merlin quickly took the towel from Arthur and hurried out of the bathroom.

“Oh it’s nothing, just something for Mum for later.” Merlin called as he strode to his room. Arthur wasn’t sure why he was following him, but he found himself sat atop Merlin’s bed, where his eyes were glued to a half-packed suitcase on the floor.

“I figured I’d get a head start on packing. I was thinking we could call things off tonight.”

Merlin said it so emotionlessly that Arthur had to replay what he had said a few times to fully comprehend it.

“Wouldn’t that defeat the point of not ruining Hunith’s Christmas?” Arthur asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

“Nah, it’ll be night time and the buzz will have gone by then. We can say we’ve split and I’ll go home for the night.”

Home. The place he hadn’t lived in years and he still called it home. Home wasn’t with Arthur.

“Oh, er-okay…” Arthur trailed off and then stood up from the bed.

“Oh erm, I’ll give you your present later when everyone’s here, you know?” Arthur mumbled, and Merlin nodded.

“Yeah, me too.” Merlin replied.

Arthur then dragged himself downstairs to make a start on the cupcakes.

 

* * *

 

“That’s the second time you’ve elbowed me now, Merlin! There is loads of space in here so _move!_ ”

Of all the bad ideas Arthur had had in his life, decorating cupcakes while Merlin was running frantic around the kitchen cooking dinner was up there with the worst.

“Arthur, they’re cakes; they aren’t as important as the main! Don’t you want your parsnips to be glazed in honey?!” Merlin spat as he ran past, nudging Arthur in the back.

“ _MER_ LIN! _”_ Arthur yelled when he was knocked forwards, his open star nozzle embedding itself into the swirl of chocolate buttercream.

“Oh, fuck off, Arthur! You’re exaggerating!”

“YOU JUST RUINED THE DAMN CAKE!” Arthur screamed, his pulse throbbing loud in his temple.

“ _Please_ , it’s one cupcake! You’ve made about 45!”

Arthur cringed. “You don’t make an odd number of cakes Merlin, you bake them by the dozen!” It was like living with a 5-year-old and Arthur was a single sugar strand away from totally losing his shit.

“ _You make them by the dOzEN!”_ Merlin mimicked in a high-pitched voice as he opened the oven, presumably to check on the sausage meat.

“Merlin! Don’t open that, it’ll melt the icing!”

“Do you want black sausage meat, Arthur? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL END UP WITH IF YOU KEEP BEING A PRAT!”

“Now, now boys!” came a familiar voice from the kitchen door, and Merlin dropped everything (thankfully everything was only a pair of tongs and the oven gloves) and ran into his mother’s arms.

Time to pretend again.

“Merlin, why don’t you go up and get dressed. I’ll take over for now and it will give Arthur a chance to finish his cakes.” she giggled; and Merlin just nodded shyly.

“The sausage meat is to come out of the oven.” he mumbled before hazarding a glance back at a raging Arthur and taking his leave.

“Go on then, best finish them off before he gets back.” Hunith snickered and Arthur grinned.

“Thanks, Hunith.” he replied, and hand steadier than ever, he finished the final few cupcakes, embellishing them with white and dark chocolate curls.

“There we are!” Arthur breathed as he filled the cupcake stands that stood at the centre of the long dining table. Hunith had followed him into the room and beamed at him from where she stood.

“Oh, Arthur, you really are a wonderful baker! The decoration is so intricate!”

Arthur smiled back at his once mother-like figure. “Thank you, it means a lot.” he mumbled shyly; and Hunith stepped forward and embraced him.

“Why don’t you and Merlin set the table?” Hunith asked, and Arthur nodded in agreement.

Unfortunately, setting the table with Merlin was just as bad as sharing the kitchen with him. They fought like cat and dog over what cutlery went where, what glasses to use and how they were going to do things.

“No, Dad always gives his speech after the meal and before dessert.” Arthur stated after Merlin had opted for the speech prior to the meal.

“Why does he even give a speech? It’s Christmas dinner for goodness sake, not a fucking royal party!” Merlin whined and Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Merlin, I am more than happy to make compromises but I am not changing the way my Dad does things. He hasn’t seen me since I came out and I’d rather like to keep him happy if I’m honest.”

Merlin gave Arthur a wary look and then they proceeded to run through the events of the night. Dinner once everyone was here, then Uther’s speech, then dessert, then the gift exchanges. That was how it would be.

Arthur nodded to himself for reassurance before texting Gwen with the time that they’d be exchanging gifts. He had to get this perfect if it had any chance of even working.

He had just re-adjusted one of Merlin’s misplaced forks when the doorbell rang; and there was no mistaking Percy’s big, boisterous laugh.

It was time.

 

* * *

 

There was an unearthly array of popping noises as everyone pulled at the party poppers that Merlin had spread around the table. Arthur had to admit that Merlin had done an immaculate job of the cooking, especially for a vegetarian. The meat was cooked to perfection throughout, and everything on Arthur’s plate was delicious. He even ate the parsnips (even though he didn’t like them), and he received knowing glances from his Mother while he did so.

It had been a surprisingly easy time so far. Uther had immediately connected with Gaius, and they spoke to one another as if they were best friends. Ygraine, of course, had caught up with Hunith and the two had spent most of their time together so far.

His friends had naturally huddled together and spent most of their time talking. It was going better than expected; and the biggest surprise of the afternoon so far for both Merlin and Arthur seemed to be the fact that Will and Morgana had been inseparable since meeting.

Thankfully, Uther hadn’t had the chance to speak with any of the lads yet, and Gwaine and Will seemed to be on their best behaviour. Of course, Arthur had done what he could to keep people happy, and to keep the spirits well away from Gwaine and Leon.

The familiar sound of a spoon hitting glass echoed in the cosy dining room, and Arthur sighed. He’d get tortured for the rest of his life for this, he just knew it. Every year Uther would give a speech at dinner to the family, and out of his friends, only Leon had been unfortunate enough to hear it before. It was the same useless shit about the things Uther and his family had achieved in the year, and how certain charities were doing and then he’d wish everyone a prosperous new year.

Arthur glanced to Merlin who was sat next to him and rolled his eyes.

“Firstly, I’d like to thank Arthur and Merlin for having everyone here for dinner. It was delicious, Merlin.” Merlin smiled up at Uther and then to Arthur. “I want to change things up a little this year. Seeing as how we’re surrounded by new faces and friends, I don’t want to stand here waffling about my family. _Well,_ I suppose in a way that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

Arthur felt his mouth dry up as he reached for his glass of Port. Uther was going to do something ridiculous like try to be funny or something, and if that happened Arthur would happily bury himself in the garden.

“As we are all now fully aware, Arthur has been full of surprises this year. Not only did he secure a fantastic job, but he has found his true self as of recent. I believe we have you to thank for that too, Merlin.”

Surely this wasn’t going where Arthur thought it was…

“You can imagine our surprise when Arthur told us that he was in a relationship; and it was an even bigger shock when we found out that it was a gay relationship. I will openly admit that I was shocked and a little at a loss as to how to react, but now I know what I want to say.”

No. No. No. No. _No._

“Arthur, your mother and I have always been immensely proud of everything you’ve ever done. We also loved having Merlin around when you two used to be friends. After watching you fall apart when he left, we thought you’d never come around… but here you are. Merlin, you have helped him find himself; and even though he has made some mistakes in the past, we are both very very proud of him, and Arthur?”

Arthur nodded, a lump forming in his throat.

“No matter what you might think; I am your Dad and I will always love you. Now, you and Merlin look after each other, I can’t thank you enough Merlin for how happy you have made us, and how happy you have made Arthur.”

Uther wiped a tear from his cheek after sitting back down, and then Hunith brought in a few platters of desserts.

“I’ll be two seconds.” Arthur barely heard Merlin, but as he turned to face him, Merlin all but sprinted out of the room, his hands over his face.

Arthur’s heart sank and he was out of his chair and out of the room before he could even think. The thrumming of Merlin’s feet on the stairs told him where he was going, but as Arthur reached the bottom step, an arm grabbed him.

“Leave him.” instructed Leon, sternly.

“I don’t understand, Dad didn’t say anyth-”

“You really are fucking stupid, Pendragon, you know that?” Leon interrupted, and Arthur’s mouth fell open slightly. Leon shook his head and eyed Arthur with apparent distaste.

“What do you mean?” gasped Arthur, offended.

“Listen mate,” said Leon, grasping Arthur’s shoulders and shaking them. “Please for the love of god, use your fucking eyes.”

And with that, Leon turned to walk back to the dining room, but Arthur was so confused. He grasped Leon by the arm and dragged him sideways into the kitchen. There was a rich smell of chocolate and booze in here. Between the Christmas pudding and the vegetarian chocolate cake, their guests would be stuffing their faces.

“What the hell are you talking about?” hissed Arthur. Leon was being a prick, to put it frankly, and it was pissing Arthur off. Merlin was upset, and Arthur wanted to know why.

“Arthur are you really that blind that you can’t see what’s in front of your own eyes?” Leon reasoned, his voice strained. “You used to know him better than anyone, so why is it that you can’t see it?”

“See what? What is there to see, Leon? He… he-” Arthur stumbled over his words. He figured that Leon had heard this already but it didn’t make it any easier to admit. “He wanted to mess around, okay? And I know, I know what I’ve done and I’ve basically fucked it all and it’s gonna be like him and Gwaine all over again. I’ve already fucked my own head, I’m fully aware of that much but I’m failing to see what I’m missing… so _please_ , Leon, enlighten me!” Arthur half-yelled, half-whispered, afraid of disrupting anyone’s Christmas dessert.

Leon’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly. “God, you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought-in fact, you’re both idiots. God, give me strength.” Leon dragged his hand down his face and sighed.

“Arthur I won’t tell you, because it isn’t my place. But what I will tell you; what Gwaine and Percy and Elyan and Hunith and anyone else with _eyes_ will tell you- is that he doesn’t look at you any differently from how he did then.” Arthur inhaled sharply and something similar to pain crackled in his chest. “You don’t notice because you don’t see it, but when you’re joking and laughing with us, when you’re sat reading, when you’re fussing over your clothes, do you know where Merlin’s eyes are?”

Arthur could do nothing but shake his head, his eyes drying up from a lack of blinking.

“They’re on you, Arthur. You don’t get to see just _how_ he looks at you now, but know this. Back before you fucked everything up in school, back when you used to look at each other like that freely _…_ _That_ is how he still looks at you. God, even I’m an idiot for not realising… he had me so convinced you weren’t interested!” Leon seemed to be yelling at himself now, and Arthur gave his head a shake.

“Wh-What do you mean I wasn’t interested?! He’s all I fucki-”

“Arthur! God, I could bang your heads together! He thought that you were only doing this so you could come out easier to your Dad. When Uther warmed up to you being gay because you were with Merlin, well, Merlin thought he’d play along. Hell, I told him that the calendar was fucking stupid because I know you have absolutely no will power whatsoever, and he _promised_ me he wouldn’t start shagging you.” Leon was almost laughing now, his eyes slightly manic with what appeared to be ridicule.

“Well to be fair, we weren’t exactly _shagging_ …”

Leon shot Arthur a warning glare, and Arthur snapped his mouth shut. “So you both ended up fooling around, and that idiot,” Leon gestured upwards with his arm. “Made things a million times harder for himself. God we’re all fucking stupid-I can’t believe it.” Leon murmured and then Arthur’s phone pinged in his pocket.

**_< Unread: Gwen (1)>_ **

Arthur looked up at Leon with wide eyes. The pain in his chest had turned into electricity; and it was starting to throb through his veins like adrenaline. They _were_ all stupid.

“Leon, go and get the calendar from my room and bring it down. There should be a little box with a ‘25’ on it in my second drawer, bring that too!

“To be honest, mate, I don’t really want to touch th-”

“Oh just fucking do it! And bring Merlin down after; like hell is he moping around on Christmas Day!”

A huge grin tore across Leon’s face and he nodded, patted Arthur on the back and span on his heel; practically skipping from the room. Arthur then unlocked his phone.

 

 **Gwen:** We’ll be there in five! Should I knock on the door? X

 **Arthur:** Message when you’re here but wait outside, well out of the way of any windows! I’ll come out to you x

 

His senses had finally caught up to him, and overwhelmed with emotion, Arthur fell to his knees on his kitchen floor, tears rolling down his cheeks. It was going to work; it was _really_ going to work.

 

* * *

 

The sound of a spoon hitting glass sounded through the room once more, and Arthur stood boldly from his chair.

“Okay, I know my Father already made a speech!” Arthur raised his voice over his family and friends’ muttering, causing them to slowly fall into silence. “But I’d quite like to make one as well.”

Arthur could feel Merlin’s eyes boring into the side of his face, but he paid no heed. Instead, he looked towards Leon who gave him a promising nod and a knowing grin.

“This month has given a whole other meaning to the word mayhem. Normally at Christmas, I pick up extra hours at work, buy the odd present online; and then spend Christmas day with my family. This year, I have barely worked at all, I have listened to Christmas music, watched Christmas films and I have a 8-and-a-half foot tree in my sitting room that we had to bend for it to fit!” This was met by a few laughs, and Arthur felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He turned to look at Merlin who was watching him warily; his expression masking whatever he was feeling.

“Okay, so we’re about to have the gift exchange but first, let me grab something!” Arthur quickly darted out to the hall and grabbed the calendar, the newly added door ‘25’ sliding around on top of it.

“Arthur what th-”

“Shush, Merlin.” he reprimanded as he slammed the calendar down on the dining table, trapping cutlery and napkins underneath it.

“Arthur, have you gone fucking ment-”

“This!” Arthur shouted, interrupting Merlin. “is mine and Merlin’s advent calendar-his idea of course. You know, I'm not even sure why I'm showing you this but here we are.

“I guess what I want to say is that in November, Merlin came strolling into the Rising Sun just after I'd been dared to kiss the next person to enter the room. So that's what I did. Then the following morning, this prick,” Arthur pointed firmly at Gwaine who feigned a look of surprise. “had taken a picture and put it on Facebook, and thus mine and Merlin's fake relationship was born.”

Hunith actually gasped, and a few of the other exchanged confused looks.

“The whole thing had been fake. Merlin just didn't want to disappoint his Mum and I needed a way of coming out to you both.” Arthur looked at his parents and mouthed a ‘sorry’.

He then turned to Merlin, who had been so good at pretending all month, and whose facade had finally broken down. He looked absolutely distraught.

“The thing is though, it was all fake until it wasn't anymore. Merlin bought this stupid calendar full of sex toys as a joke a-” Arthur was interrupted by both Gwaine _and_ Elyan spitting wine loudly across the table. He stared at them with mild disgust. He'd need a new tablecloth. “and to be honest, we treated it as that. A joke. But then… I'm not too sure why, but we started using it. Together.

“From there, I realised something that I'd known to be true all of my life, but that I had fought against and never fully acknowledged until now. And so, Merlin?” Merlin looked up at him through his fingers but didn't answer.

“I'd like to give you your gift. Bare with me.”

As Arthur left the table, he noticed both Hunith and Will shooting out of their seats. Will looked absolutely furious and Arthur was willing to bet he'd probably get punched at some point in the near future.

He rushed through the hall and opened the front door. There, he sunk to his knees with excitement and lifted both husky pups to his chest, nestling his face in their fur.

“Oh, I missed you two!” he squeaked and Gwen smirked.

“I never had you down as the smitten-over-puppies type, Arthur.” Arthur had visited the pups at Gwen’s dad's shelter as frequently as he could without it being too noticeable, and he knew they were perfect for he and Merlin. The two were inseparable and though the all-black one constantly wound up the all-white one, they loved each other all the same.

“Yeah me neither. Thank you so much, Gwen. I owe you.” he couldn’t help but beam up at her and she handed him the puppies’ leads. As requested, the black pup had a big silver bow on his collar, and the white one had a lovely black bow.

“Someone cover his eyes!” Arthur yelled, and Will was the first to turn and see Arthur hiding at the door. His mouth fell open and then he swung his hands over Merlin’s face.

“Ow, get off Will!” Merlin yelled and Arthur smirked. There were a few gasps when he walked into the room, a husky puppy in each arm, but Leon gave an aggressive _‘sssshhhhhh!’_ and Arthur sat on the floor next to the table.

“Merry Christmas, Merlin.” Arthur smiled, and when Will’s hands moved away; Arthur soaked in the look of adoration on Merlin’s wondrous face. His eyes dilated and glistened with moisture, and without even thinking, he threw himself to the floor.

“Oh look at you! And you, look at your eyes! Arthur they’re adorable but, surely…”

“They’re for you, Merlin. They were given to the shelter about a month and a half ago.” Arthur placed the pups on the floor, and watched as the white one limped around excitedly on her three legs, whilst the black one threw herself at her friend repeatedly. Merlin giggled.

“The little boy who was given this one didn’t like her because of her missing leg; and then the black one got awfully sad after her sister was taken from her. So, the family took both to Tom’s shelter.” Arthur nodded in Elyan’s direction.

“Oh they’re inseparable, those two!” Elyan laughed and Arthur scritched at the black one’s ear.

“Oh Arthur, look at her eyes, they’re two different colours!” Merlin gasped as he lay on the floor, face-to-face with the black pup. “Oh and she has little white socks too!”

Arthur laughed and nodded.

“Yeah, and they’re all yours.” Arthur breathed. He couldn’t ignore the butterflies in his stomach. Regardless of what Leon had said, there was still the chance that this wouldn’t work out.

“But Arthur, I can’t.” Merlin sighed sadly. “Mum’s allergic, I couldn’t possibly-”

“Oh, there’s one more thing too, come on.” Arthur lifted both dogs, handing the white one to Merlin and the black one to Will. They all made their way back to the table and Arthur patted the box that lay atop the calendar.

“So everyone, I have added a final door to our little advent calendar. I guess this is Merlin’s final little present. Arthur shrugged as he gestured for Merlin to open the box.

Arthur moved to the side of the table where he could see. If this didn’t work he’d be the biggest fool, but if it did…

Merlin froze where he stood, the open box in his hands.

“What is it?” asked Hunith as she watched a sequence of emotions play across her son’s face. “Arthur, what is it?”

Arthur didn’t have to answer, though. Just then, Merlin pulled the single key from the box and held it tight between his fingers.

“Wh-What…”

Arthur’s mouth nearly split he was grinning so much, and he rushed back around the table, taking Merlin’s hands in his, and turning him so they were facing each other. He didn’t care who was there anymore and he didn’t care if he looked like an idiot.

“Fuck, we are idiots, Merlin. Don’t you see it? We both thought that this whole thing was fake but it wasn’t, not for either of us. I’ve been chewing myself to pieces trying to find a way around this so that I didn’t have to let you go. My feelings for you never did go away Merlin, and I bought you these two cuties because I can’t think of anything you love more than dogs. And of course, I wouldn’t have bought them for you if I thought you’d be going back to Hunith.

“I suppose what I’m trying to say, or ask even…. Merlin?” Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin’s hands and pulled him a tad closer. “Would you move in with me, but this time as my real boyfriend? Because I really fucking love you.” Arthur laughed nervously; and he was certain that the entire room held their breath with him.

Those two fierce eyes flickered between his own, and a single tear followed a path down Merlin’s cheek.

Then, Merlin tilted his head slightly to the left and Arthur’s heart leapt out of his chest because that only meant one thing. Arthur leaned in, his lips meeting Merlin’s halfway; and though it was chaste and suppressed, it was the best kiss Arthur had ever had in his life.

“We _are_ idiots aren’t we?” Merlin mumbled, his forehead pressed against Arthur’s, and Arthur nodded in response.

What followed, was a fantastic evening of board games, cupcakes and laughs; and after finally seeing off Hunith, Ygraine, Uther and Gaius with farewell hugs, Arthur retreated to the living room where he flopped onto the sofa, a huge grin on his face.

“You know, you shouldn’t smile so much, people might start thinking you actually _like_ Christmas.” Merlin teased from the doorway, and Arthur stuck out his tongue.

“Maybe I do like it.” he mimicked Merlin’s tone, and Merlin just giggled. They sat together on the sofa, huddled under the new Harry Potter throw Merlin had received from Gaius, watching the Philosopher’s Stone.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, just as Malfoy threw the rememberall through the air.

“Yeah?” Arthur asked, looking up from where his head was rested on Merlin’s chest. Merlin then rummaged around through the vast amount of junk on the coffee table and withdrew a unopened, red envelope.

“Here.” Merlin said as he handed it to Arthur. “But before you take it, I want you to know that I had planned to give you this today. I’d had it planned for a couple of weeks actually, but then after this morning I thought you weren’t bothered anymore. You seemed so nonchalant and disinterested and I just… It doesn’t matter, just open it”

Arthur studied Merlin’s concerned face whilst nerves bubbled through his stomach.

“Are you sure?” he asked, and Merlin smiled and nodded.

So Arthur tore carefully at the red envelope; expecting to find a card or something similar. What he had in fact pulled out, however, was a photograph of himself and Merlin. It was a photo from Merlin’s eighth birthday. Around them, friends were stood smiling; but Arthur and Merlin stood hand in hand.

Arthur looked up at Merlin once more, who was looking at the TV, a little grin curling the corner of his mouth. Arthur looked back down at the photo and noticed the hole punched in the corner, and the string threaded through. Turning over the photo, there was a sentence scrawled on the back.

_‘I thought I loved you, then.’_

Arthur then studied the second picture. This one was from their year six school trip to the museum. Again, they stood hand in hand whilst Arthur pointed at the hieroglyphic lettering. He remembered now, how he’d spelled Merlin’s name and then his own on a piece of paper when they’d gotten back to school.

 _‘And I loved you even more, then._ ’

Arthur swallowed as the third picture, age 13 and all lanky and full of acne, sprung into view. They were in Merlin’s garden during summer. Hunith had shouted at them to get out Merlin’s room or they’d turn into cave-dwellers, but they had been enjoying watching the Simpsons huddled up on Merlin’s bed.

_‘And here, I was definitely convinced that I loved you.’_

It was the fourth picture that rattled Arthur the most and brought a tear to his eye. He had no recollection of this being taken, though if he had to guess; it had been taken by Leon or Gwaine. As Arthur accepted the school trophy for most goals scored by a student in the history of Camelot high, Merlin stood beside him, tears in his eyes and the biggest smile on his face.

This had been a week before Arthur had fucked up.

_‘But this one. This was the one where I truly realised that I was head-over-heels, heartbreakingly in love with you-and that I always would be.’_

Arthur wiped at the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes; and as he flipped to the final picture, he gave a tearful laugh.

On the back of the picture that Gwaine had taken of them snogging at the Rising Sun in November, Merlin had scrawled the following.

_‘And this was the moment that I realised that I had been right. I have never stopped loving you, Arthur Pendragon, and I would make it my goal to make you see that.’_

Arthur could feel himself shaking, and he sniffled as he tried to suppress his emotions.

“Do you know why I came back?” Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded.

“The job, your Mum, your frie-”

“No, Arthur.” Merlin interrupted. “I came back because I was lost. I tried and I tried to find somebody. I tried so hard to move on and to forget, and it took me years to realise that what I needed to do was to come back for you; because if I hadn’t I’d have never forgiven myself.” Merlin’s voice was shaky and Arthur could tell he was close to tears.

He lifted his back from Merlin’s front, and swivelled around so that he was pressed against Merlin’s body, their faces inches apart.

“I love you so much, Arthur. So much that it killed me for years.” Merlin sniffed, and Arthur nodded and wiped Merlin’s eye with his thumb.

“Yeah, and to think neither of us had the sense to just talk about it.” Arthur teased, and Merlin whacked him in the side. “I love you too, Merlin.” he giggled, and just as Merlin leaned in, Arthur shot off the couch.

“No! We get to use number 24 how we should have done in the first place!” Arthur shouted before running to the calendar and retrieving the pouch of mistletoe they had placed back inside.

“Now, where were we?” Arthur growled and as he clambered back onto the couch and fished out the mistletoe, holding it above the two of them. Then Merlin’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed. “Arthur look at it!”

Arthur looked up at the mistletoe and for a second, he wasn’t sure what Merlin had been looking at; but then he noticed.

“I don’t fucking believe it!” yelled Merlin. “After all of that, it-it was a fucking cock ring!”

Sure enough; it _was_ in fact a Mistletoe cock ring.

Once they had finished laughing, Arthur kissed Merlin anyway, and just as they began to grind against each other, Arthur pulled his lips away from his boyfriend’s.

“I guess we can use it as a cock ring too, yeah?” Arthur asked, breathless, and Merlin nodded with a grin before replying.

“Oh, _fuck_ yes.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Two Years Later**

 

It was Tuesday the 22nd of December, and Arthur toyed with his phone nervously in his hands before typing his message.

 

 **Arthur:** Got it booked for 5 minutes from now exactly, lads.

 

Over the last two years, he and Merlin had fell back into the pattern of how they used to be a long time ago, but with the addition of a lot more kissing, sex, and two giant, hyperactive huskies.

There had been enough surprises in these last two years to last him a lifetime, but they were good surprises nonetheless. The first had been Uther announcing last Christmas that he had signed up two new main charities as his company’s new partners; both of these were in support of LGBTQ youths.

The second, had been the announcement that shook the family completely. Arthur was going to be an uncle. The conversation had been somewhat interesting, seeing as though Morgana hadn’t been ‘officially’ dating anyone, but on finding out that her and Will had been casually shagging, Arthur also found out that Will had stepped up to the plate; and now he and Morgana were very happy together in a high-end, new apartment.

The third was a result of the second, and it was that Arthur was now ridiculously close to Will. He didn’t know _how_ it happened, exactly, but he and Will were as close as Merlin and Leon. So much so, that Arthur had spent entire days out with him shopping for nursery furniture and Christmas presents. He had a brutal sense of humour and a sharp personality, and Arthur got on with him very well.

The fourth, was that after spending most of his adult life abroad, Merlin’s Uncle Gaius moved back to Camelot. He would be staying with Hunith for the foreseeable future, and he regularly came around to visit the pups (Merlin being the adorable idiot that he was, had named the black pup Casper, and the white pup Shadow).  Due to Hunith’s allergies, Will and Morgana had adopted the three rescues that Gaius had brought back over from France, and Merlin had been overjoyed.

The fifth thing, was that Arthur and Merlin seemed to mould together in life so easily that Arthur questioned how he ever coped without Merlin there. Working in the same department was a dream. When they happened to cross paths, they would share fleeting touches and the odd kiss; and the kids on the terminal ward absolutely loved that they were together.

Merlin spent more time on that ward than he did in main paediatrics, and that was a reflection of the way he was with those kids. Arthur had never met a man more brave and caring in his entire life. Sure, there were bad days where Merlin would be beside himself with upset, but the good days outweighed the bad, and if anything, Arthur loved Merlin more than ever after seeing this side of him.

Living together was pretty easy too. They took turns cooking, and Arthur was teaching Merlin to bake. Friday nights were usually date night, but sometimes Merlin was on call. It didn’t matter, though, because they had all the time in the world with each other.

Then there was the sex. Arthur had learned a _lot_ , not only about Merlin, but about himself. There were nights where they would go to bed and make love to each other passionately, but there were also days like when they went to the garden museum and Arthur shagged Merlin in a storage cupboard. Or the days like when they spent an entire six and a half hours experimenting with positions, and learning that they were both, in fact, very flexible people. And there were days like today, where Merlin had bent Arthur over, holding him down by the back of his neck and fucking him hard into his office desk. They both shared a lot of likes and dislikes when it came to their sex life, and Arthur found that it was very healthy. The more they shagged, the happier they were through the day.

The dogs were fantastic too. Admittedly, Arthur had never seen so much loose fur in all of his life, but he loved them both with all of his heart. Shadow, the three-legged white husky was quirky and hyper, but she liked her sleep. Casper on the other hand, though also hyper, loved nothing more than tormenting shadow to no end. With her one brown eye and one blue eye, she’d gaze at Shadow’s sleeping form and then leap on her, tugging at her tail and her legs. Hunith, Gaius and Will often compared the two to Merlin and Arthur, much to Merlin’s exasperation and Arthur’s amusement.

Arthur’s phone buzzed a couple of times.

 

 **Gwaine:** Aw mate I’m so excited!!!!!!

 **Percival:** Mate, Gwaine is actually going nuts, we’re buzzing!!

 

Arthur smiled to himself. Two more minutes.

He watched Merlin from across the table. They had booked the Rising Sun for their staff night out, and per Arthur’s request, Alice had happily organised the DJ and Karaoke again. Merlin had his head on his colleague, Freya’s, shoulder. He’d had a couple of rum and cokes but nothing too damaging. Gwen, on the other hand, was drunkenly chattering to her now-husband, Lance, as he laughed at her slurring speech.

Arthur really was surrounded by the best people, and he felt a warmness in his heart that he’d never be able to budge so long as Merlin was around.

“Just nipping to the loo,” Arthur murmured to the table as he made his way out of their booth and to the stage.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, the fifth karaoke request for the night is about to start!”

Arthur watched as Gwaine, Percy, Leon, Elyan and Will snuck in through the back door, and he double-checked that his parents, Morgana, Hunith and Gaius were seated in the back of the room, well out of Merlin’s sight.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, I give you…. Arthur and the knights! If you would take these microphones, gentlemen,”

The crowd applauded and Arthur’s eyes shot to his booth, where Merlin’s head appeared over the top of the seat. The audience clapped along cheerfully, and Arthur was pretty certain that every single person here was in on this.

He watched the exact moment the penny dropped, and Merlin’s face twisted in amusement when he realised what he was hearing.

“Poor old Johnny Ray, sounded sad upon the radio but he moved a million hearts in mono!” Arthur put his all into it, his eyes never leaving Merlin’s astonished face as he sang his heart out.

After the chorus, Freya pulled Merlin out of his seat and led him to the edge of the little dancefloor, and Arthur gave the DJ a nod before moving forwards, hips swaying provocatively to the music.

“We are far too young and clever, Remember!”

Arthur was past caring. Everyone here knew him, and no one was here to judge. Hell, he didn’t even care if Gwaine recorded it… this was the perfect way to get under Merlin’s skin.

As his knights, with the new addition of Will, chanted ‘Come on Eileen!’ and ‘What he means!’, Arthur slid in close to Merlin, moving around him, swirling his hips and dragging his fingers across Merlin’s hips.

“Oh my thoughts,” Arthur leaned in close to Merlin’s ear as he sang. “Verge on dirty…”

His fingers then dipped into his back pocket as he grasped the black velvet box there.

“Ah, come on Eileen!”

The audience began to clap, slow and measured, and Arthur smiled as he positioned himself directly in front of Merlin.

“Come on, Eileen, taloo rye-ay!” there was chanting from all sides, and Arthur felt emotion welling up inside of him.

“Firstly, I want to say thank you to everyone here for making tonight possible; but I don’t have much time so I won’t dwell on that.” Merlin looked at him in amusement and shook his head. He really had no idea.

“Merlin, two years ago you stood right here and sang this song with these idiots, and of all the people in the world, you’re the only one to ever be able to make me sing. And the same applies for tonight. The last two years have been overwhelming, but really, if you take out those few years in between I suppose our entire lives had been like that, really.”

Merlin nodded in agreement but his eyebrows drew together. The penny still hadn’t dropped yet.

“I have loved you for as long as I can remember, and I intend to do so for a very, very long time. So without further ado…”

Arthur flipped the box open behind his back and the lads behind him chanted.

“Too-ra-loo-ra-too-ra-loo-rye-aaaaaayyy!”

Then the music came to a halt and Arthur dropped to his knee. He could feel his pulse throbbing in his neck and Merlin’s eyes widened to three times their usual size.

“Merlin, would you do me the honour of marrying me?”

There was complete silence for a second, and though Arthur had no doubts, he couldn’t help but swallow nervously.

“Of course I will, you fucking idiot, get up!”

The microphone fell to the floor and Arthur swung his arms around his fiancée's neck, kissing him hard and slow and passionate. This was met with cheers from the audience and Arthur was vaguely aware of Will carrying on the song in the background. They were bombarded by people and there were back pats and hugs and words of congratulations, and Arthur was sure he heard his Father and Hunith crying, but all he was really focused on was this marvel of a man who was smiling as he kissed him back.

Arthur had never felt happiness like this in his entire life.

“Arthur?” Merlin mumbled into the kiss and Arthur pulled back slightly and nodded. “Am I going to actually get to wear that ring?”

Arthur snorted and unwound his arms from where they had moved to Merlin’s hips, and he took out the silver band, engraved with the words ‘ _As Always’_ , and slid it on to Merlin’s ring finger.

Merlin then leaned in once more, rubbing his nose back and forth across Arthur’s before muttering “I love you, Arthur.”

Then they kissed a little more before Arthur pulled back long enough to say “I love you too, as always.”

Merlin grinned shyly and took his lip between his teeth. “As always.” he whispered.

And then they kissed and kissed until the attention wasn’t on them anymore. Then, when everyone was too drunk to notice, they snuck away out of the room with a knowing glance from Gwaine, and if they fucked in the toilets of the Rising Sun, well, maybe they’d just have to make that a Christmas tradition.

 

**_fin_ **


End file.
